This feeling isn't even real
If it's real,
Where's the side of making it's real?
Where's the reality?
Where's justice?
When I gave you my heart, will was rewarded with the heart as well?
If it's not, what I'll be repaid with?
It's so confusing,
Knowing you more than you know yourself
While you don't know me, even my name, or at least heard of it
If in the end I have to be with someone else, not you
This feeling in my deep deepest heart
It won't disappear
It will continue to grow
Slowly
I can't just **** 'em
I just can't
And I just don't want to.

And it won't gonna change
It lasts forever, in my deepest heart.
Because you are my first ever,
Love.

- dlx

You said,
This is not the way the love works.
But why I kept controling myself up?  
Why I kept this feeling so tight even I know that you won't ever do the same thing as me
Why?
Why I kept making me not tired to wait?

They say,
Love is not the only way to break your heart,
But for the love that can make you cured.

I know,
I know how easy you to talk to yourself
Very gently and properly
Then when it comes back to you
You lost your ideas
And you afraid to do the things that you planned before,
Again.

- dlx

I miss you
I don't know why
But true, I just do.
We don't even know each other
We don't even know anything about us
We even still ask each other questions about who we are
We didn't even talk to each other, looked at, or meet
But somehow you are always there whenever I need you
You might not ever present now, to held me like what others think about us.
But someday, maybe it could happen
But now is now, tomorrow is tomorrow, and then let it be a distant memory.
What I feel this may be hard to guess by anyone, like they know everything about love, they thought they're pro
But when they found out about this, whether they still remain as a pro?
It seems big no.
Because this feeling is indeed hard to understand, even you, or me.
No one understands,
Until it makes me like this.


- dlx

Something in you is just so perfect.
The way I look at you, like the way I looking at the sky.
I feel so blessed.
And when I smile at you is like I watching the galaxies moves.
And when your browny eyes meets my coffee eyes, is like I can feel the outer space spinning around,
And when we talk, everything that slipped through out your mouth, making me can feel the gaze of the sun.
And,
All at once.

You just so beautiful to me.
Not in the way you look or the way you set me on fire.
It's just you,
The way you are making you beautiful.
I never regret to meet you.
If in the end I feel regret, I hope that's not a farewell.

When we laugh together,
When we talk eye to eye.
And when you feel the same exact way as I am,
Even you can guess what I really feel without I'm telling you what happen first,
It feels like I'm flying in the sky of New York City at night with my own wings,
And when it happens,
I feel like I'm the best girl in the world.
All the girls must have felt jealous of me because of what you did to me.
And I don't even care about love when I'm with you.
Really, it seems so perfect when our eyes meet and it blinks quirky.
I love every little things that we do.
I don't care if it's harmful or even dangerous or make other thinks that we're idiots.
I don't give a **** about it.
When it comes to you, it makes me feel realized how great this life.
I feel like,
Only you can make me feel what I want to feel.
I have nothing to hide or be pretentious calm in front of you.
Because when I'm with you, I can be myself and I'm proud of it.
Yeah, you make me proud of who I am.
Only you, can make me feel like this.

Even you know I love someone else (him),
You always act like you don't care.
It's like not a really big deal for you.
I don't know why you treat me like this.
Treat me like I want to be treated by him.
But you always here, for me.
For making me smile, laugh, and happy again.

I just hope that it will last forever.
Wherever I go, wherever we go,
No matter what decision we'll make tomorrow,
You have to promise me that you will always be like this,
Be my friend, be my best friend, my best ever friend that I've ever had.
I don't know who we are when people wants us to love each other,
Not about friends but more than that.
Ew I won't let it happen,
Because I know how easy to flip the feelings for a sec even we've builded it for years.
I know how awkward the situation would be.
I know how hard everything will change by just a sec.
So please, don't you ever change.



yours best partner,
-dlx

Whenever you feel tired,
Just breath.
Whenever you need a hugs but you can't get one,
Just breath.
Whenever you feel give up,
Just breathe.
Whenever you wanted to lose yourself,
Just breath.
Whenever you get upset or mad,
Just breath
Whenever you think that you've already gave your best but you failed,
Just breathe.
Whenever you feel unsave,
Just breathe.
Whenever you need someone to talk to but people are just *****,
Just breath.

Don't drive your heart, baby.
Just don't.
Give yourself a little space,
A little break,
And a rest.
Your mind, heart, and mental can sick too.
Take care of them just like the cells keep you healthy everyday even every beat of your heart.
Breath.

Just breath yourself in.

- dlx

I haven't meet him. Not yet.
But I found him.

Right when I feel like I'm gonna feel something in a different ways.
Not like I used to.
But it's a new things to me.
I feel like I'm being used.
Being slaved.
And being controlled.
By you.
Not directly, but slowly.
It's killing me sometimes, even so many times.
But I don't know why,
Here I'm still alive and I still want you.
There are no words to describe my feelings to you.
I think that's no enough for me to get into your universe.
It seems like I giving a try,
But then you showed up whenever I try to **** this feelings.
I feel like I'm burning, inside and out
And even myself, don't know how to deal with it
Couldn't find a way to shutting down the fire
It's raging on me over and over again
The flame of love.

Yet.
I'm still haven't met you.
But I think I've found my way back.
To you.
Always. To you.


- dlx

Sometimes,
What we got it's not upon of what we want
What we hope for, isn't upon from what we granted
I need you
I want you
It's has always been you
And it will always be you.
But I got nothing from you here
Instead of someone that wants me as I want you
Fine
It's all in God's hand
The results, the harvest, and the finals
Is all not upon what we pray,
It's called fate.  
I don't force my will to always leads to you
I don't push my dreams to directs to you
Or else,
I don't require you as my end-up forever partner
But if it's NOT you,
This feeling will never change.
Never ever change.
And it'll lasts forever and ever.

- dlx