Today is the second month I've been on Hello poetry and I have accomplished so much. I had another account before but too many people from my school found out about it and it made me feel uncomfortable and judged so, I created this account. I'm glad I did. The people I've met on this account, this website, are amazing. They've stopped me from doing many things I'm sure I would have regretted doing. They have supported me and made me smile. They understand me. They only judge me based on my soul which I have been pouring out, bit by bit, onto the 'pages' of this website. I am so thankful to have met every single person I have met on this website and we'll fix ourselves together. I love all of you, I really do.

Thanks guys,
I'm feeling better and I won't **** myself I've thought about it but I won't.
Thank you for your support.
I won't cut either.
I'll get through this. Thank you so much!

She played music to her wrist every night.
Blade to wrist, blade to wrist.
A musical of sorrow,
of tears.
Pushed past breaking point,
no where to go.
She feels like she is suffocating,
dying on the inside.
So, she cuts.
She cuts to breathe.
To get away from her overbearing parents.
To get away from the homework.
She cuts.
Every time she cuts,
it's like she's cutting me too.
I love her so much, she's like my sister.
Knowing that I can't do anything to help her **** me.
If you die, I'll die with you.
Maybe just not in the same way you die.
I'll die on the inside.
That's the worst kind of death.
But,
I've lost so much.
I don't want to lose you too.

You know those days when you sit down and you think about things. You just think. And then you see a post about how someone ket their best friend and you smile because it's so sweet and then you pause to think about how you met your best friend and you realise that youhave no best friend. Yeah, you do have people whom you talk to everyday and whom you smile at but no one you think is your best friend. No one you text everyday or whom you go out with everyday and you realise that during lunch daily, you are always alone.


Alone.

I was looking through my friend's account and reading the poems she wrote almost two years ago when we were both younger and full of passion and excitement and a hunger to take more from the world. To gulp down whatever the world could offer. I experience so many things. We were so full of like then. So happy. Two years down the road and I down care anymore. I just don't care. About school, about life, about learning. I don't want to be forced to learn things that I do not want to learn. I do not care about my exam results. What will it matter when I will die anyway? Life is so fragile that I may even die just after taking my national exams(which are extremely soon.) Then my slaving over books for hours a day would b]have been for naught. My last days of my life would be filled with stress. I just want to enjoy life. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I have to be rich and to be rich, more likely than not, I have to have a good job which would thus require excellent academic results.

And it was sad to know that,
While she desperately wanted to die,
Her mother desperately wanted to live.

It's the same **** thing everyday. **** this life. I can't stand living anymore. I feel like curling up in a ball and dying. Maybe that's what I'll do. Maybe this is the last you hear of me. Not like anyone cares about a fatso loner loser nerd **** like me.

I
S
C
R
E
A
M
AND THEN I stop
Silence
Silence
Silence
Silenc
           e











It's deafening

Because i'm dying i'm suffocating the walls are closing in on me and i cannot contain this feeling like a burst of fire from within this self-hatred spewing venom throughout my body and i cannot live like this anymore i cannot live by crying everyday i cannot live like this it is not a live it is surviving but barely

Today was the first time that I cut four tiny parallel lines on my wrist. I didn't use a blade or a razor. I used the sharp end of a compass. I don't know why I did it. But it felt good. All I know was that the pain inside was too much to bear and I needed to breathe. My demons were suffocating me. After that I ran to the kitchen and took an icecube and rubbed it along those four lines. I hadn't drawn much blood but the lines were there. Now, five minutes later, I can still feel the sting; a dull, numb pain.

Maybe I should just **** myself. Maybe thag will make you ******* happy. It is always my ******* fault. My ******* flaws. I cannot take anymore. You say I was the worst mistake you ever made. You repeatedly tell me I'm useless, fat ugly and that I should die. You don't think twice before saying such hurtful words. If the one person who is supposed to love me no matter what calls me such things, maybe I really should just **** myself because life is not worth living. **** her. **** this **** because I am done b

Just as I started fixing myself,
Someone else broke himself.
It was like a continuous cycle of hopelessness.
I watched it.
I watched as something happened to him and he broke.
And he couldn't pick up the pieces.
So,I helped him.
I maybe not be able to fix him but he will know that someone cares.
That was all I needed to know and no one showed it to me.
I'll show him.
No one deserves to feel this way.

THERE WILL BE CUSSING.












I try my best not to swear but I have to do it in this case.


******* *****. You don't know ****. Talking to people about me you ******* *****. all those ******* lies you ******* ****. ******* I HOPE YOU ******* DIE IN A HOLE *****. I do not wish for anyone's death having considered my own but I can't take you anymore. I've been nothing but nice to you and yet you're still a *****. No one should die except you. GOD I HATE YOU SO ******* MOUTH. CAN'T YOU SHUT YOUR ******* MOUTH *****. I'LL IGNORE YOU AND YOU CAN IGNORE ME. I'M TIRED OF THE ******* RUMOURS AND GOSSIP. CAN'T I REST FROM IT ONCE. ******. ****. YOU'LL BE ALL ALONE IN THE END.

i feel like a soul
trapped in a body
that is trapped in a mundane, sad life
and i need a weapon
to break this body open
so that my soul come spilling out and i can be free

oh what should my weapon be?
so many choices
so little time
before the time bomb in my mind explodes
leaving me a mess of thoughts and emotions
resurfacing repressed memories
makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop
the demons have been let out of their cage again
and they're here to play
tugging on my heartstrings
constricting my throat
crawling under my skin begging me to join them
it's so easy, you can do it i know you can just hold on tightly, pull the trigger, that's right, you're doing so well
we'll see you on the other side

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes-
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay,let them only see us, while
           We wear the mask.

We smile,but, O great Christ,our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and along the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
           We wear the mask!

What do you see as you stare into my lifeless eyes?
What do you think about when you gaze into them?
Can you still love this soulless girl?

i need someone to let me know i'm not a mistake,
that i can be loved,
that i won't be the only one in my group of friends left alone,
that i am worthy.
i need someone who can hold me tightly
and remain calm during those nights i end up crying.
crying because i start thinking and never stop
crying because i'm so tired of giving and getting nothing in return.
i need someone who can understand this constant void i feel in my soul
i need someone who will understand me and accept me,
flaws and all

Where wars are fought with words
And slammed doors
Shouting
Raised voices
And desperation
Exasperation
A threatening fist raised
Shock
I am unhappy you make me that way
Sobbing
Sob in front the kids
Scream in front of them too
Make them believe that love is a lie
Make them never want to get married
Ruin their lives
Ruin your lives too
Yeah in this new warzone we love being unhappy
In this new warzone we love the pain
In this warzone being alive means you're dead on the inside

Why do you hate me just because I am not the same gender as you?
Why do you hate me just because the complexion of my skin pigment is darker than yours?
Why do you hate me for not praying to the same God as you?
Why do you hate me for these man-made territorial boundaries I live within?
Why do you hate me because I love someone who is of the same gender as me?
Why do you hate me for something I cannot change?
Why do you hate?
I'll wonder why,
but I'll get no answers.
I'll continue to live in this hateful world.

The ones you love most,
hate you the worst.

The ones who seem the most angelic,
are devils in disguise.

The ones who seem the smartest,
have the lowest EQ.

The ones who seem the happiest,
are actually the saddest.

Therefore,
I can't understand why people bother to judge and spread hateful rumours.
You don't know who the person really is.
You don't know his or her real story.
Why judge?
Why gossip?
Of course,
if this world were ideal,
people would not hate.
Alas, that is a mere dream.

It's a new year.
A new beginning.
With this new year,
we should take the time to remember those who did not live to see 2014.
We should remember those who will spend another year in poverty and constant hunger.
We should appreciate how lucky we are to have food, clothes and a shelter over our heads.

Such symmetry,
Such perfection.
The perfect letter.
Y.
The wishbone.
Y.
The fork in the road.
Y.
Streams diverging from a river.
Y.
The question I ask over and over but get no answer.
Y.

You think it's so easy to forgive you?
You tore me apart,
fragment by fragment.
You watched me burn.
You mocked me.
Why should I forgive you?
You are so full of yourself,
you can't see what's happening around you,
you choose to ignore it.
Now you dare smile at me,
bat those fake eyelashes of yours
and ask me,
'Why do you look so sad?''
I felt like screaming at you,
like telling you that you are the cause of everything.
I didn't.
I just smiled sadly before walking away.

everytime I think of you I blush
I just can't get you out of my head
this is more than just a simple crush
I almost wish I was dead

Cause you don't want me
and you never will
the two of us could never be
for I'm just another girl.

and yet everytime I see you
my heart just beats a little faster
I  don't even know what to do

why am I so in love with you

I see you wave and smile at me
And
my heart skips a beat
And
I think to myself
*Well ****

Exams are round the corner but,
I can't stop thinking of you.
Of what we had.
Of what we will never have again.
I can't study.
Your face constantly pops up in my mind.
You already ruined my life once,
why are you back to haunt me again?
I saw you at the mall the other day.
I'll never be able to forget.
And that fact kills me.

You think your words affect me?
You think I give a **** about a thing that you say??
*****, please.
Say whatever the ******* want.
I will take the blows and the kicks.
They've got no effect on me anyway.
I'm a train going ahead at full speed and if you try to block my path *****, you're going to get run down.
With your iron fist of terror you rule this house but a revolution is about to start.
Enjoy while you can now *****, cause when I'm through with you , you'll take back every single ******* word.
That's a promise

It was the second day of school and I see you in the hall.
Yours is the first face I see out of them all.
You don't say 'Hi'.
Neither do I.

You purposely ignore me.
That, I can see.
I turn away.
At this point, 'Hi' is the last thing I want to say.

I saw you in school again.
I was wondering how we ended up like this.
I loved you like my own sister.
Oh, yes, that's right!
You're a backstabbing *****.

I came broken, cracked and empty.
Beaten down by life
I came weary
I came exhausted and I came resigned.
You came content,
You came with a smile,golden soul spilling over the edges of the vessel that is your body,
You came with laughter and you came with positivity
and you came to me.
and you patched me up and you held me in your arms and you gave me some of your soul and I am complete and I am content and I am
broken
you came and then you left
you couldn't commit a soul like yours needs to travel
and i nodded numbly tears washing me hollow again
and you never turned back you never came back
you left me alone you never cared you left me
you left

I stared out at the sea.
Gazing at the choppy water.
Looking at where heaven appeared to meet the earth,
where it looked like the world was never-ending.
Only a few ships dotting the horizon could be seen.
Hues of oranges, pink and blue filled the sky as the sun sank below the horizon,
appearing to sink into the ocean.
In that beautiful sky,
I could only see one face.
Your's
Oh, what have you done to me.
This unexplainable feeling of exhilaration.
The feeling of butterflies in my tummy.
Senses in me , that I never knew existed, roused.
Even your presence leaves me breathless.
A single word can make my knees weak.
I lean back into the sand with a content giggle.
Thinking of you makes me happy too.
You're a drug.
And, boy, am I addicted.

Sometimes, you just need a reminder that your life is worth more than you think.

I'm broken.
You hurt me.
You betrayed me.
I'll never be the same again.
Why?
I trusted you.
You twisted me.
You broke me.
I'll never trust anyone anymore.