I find it very difficult
To differentiate some things
Is it me or just my depression
Do I want to get better
Or just be who I am
Do I smile for everyone
Because anything else
Is more unsettling
Because everything else
Requires some explaining
Am I getting better
Or am I just fitting in
Do I need help
Or just acceptance
Am I fighting it
Or am I denying it
I am confused
Because of this conflict
It feels too complicated
To simply comprehend
Do I even want answers
To these questions

In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s all worth it.
The thoughts pounding in my head
Am I worth it?
Wouldn’t it be better if I was gone?
I’ll never amount to anything

In the darkness of night
I wonder why I’m still here.
Nothing to look forward to
Where’s the motivation to keep going?
What is there to live for?
I have nothing keeping me here

In the darkness of night
I wonder if anyone would care.
Friendless
Never making lasting impressions
When has anyone put me first?
No one listens to what I have to say

In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s the oppressing stillness.
Or are the demons whispering in my ear?
Some say it’s just a chemical imbalance
But in the silence, they come from inside
Whispers of never being enough