hell is dreaming about you, and waking up in someone else's bed

a dream that you're walking through the graveyard where i am buried, and you keep walking right past my gravestone without hesitation

I heard my mom saying that my body is a temple
When It took just 3 text messages to get you through my door
Your finger prints all over this broken building, my body
As you enter without even knocking, screaming you love me
As it took just one goodbye
to be forced to act like I don’t know you anymore

I heard my mom saying my body is a temple
When I stumbled drunk into your room
You took a bat to the already broken doors and windows of this building
Screaming that I’m good enough, good enough for you
then watching you roll over and ignore  my calls the next day at noon

I heard my mom say my body is a temple
When I realized mine is nothing more than the resting point along the way
Because temples are full of worship and love .
Something I have never felt inside these broken down doors and cracked walls
No my body is not a temple,
for I’m just  something you stop at because it’s beautiful,
but never the place you want to stay

a dream where i didn't know the color of your eyes

When you moved out I think that's when I first became a vacant lot. When did I start hammering "for sale" signs into my heart? When do I stop? And I'm empty more than half the time but, so what? You get used to waiting around for anyone with furniture to fill you up.

i had a past drug addict tell me once that picking up smoking cigarettes helped them drop their addiction of the other dugs
it was a distraction that calmed their body and mind down when it wanted the drugs
they said they were clean for years but not a day goes by that they don't miss the drugs and the way they made them feel

you're gone
and i kissed a million different boys over and over  to replace the feeling you gave me
behind closed eyes and closed doors my mind and body replaced you with him for those few hours
i haven't seen you in years but not a day goes by that i don't miss the way you made me feel