Gambling
On you
I’m at home
Not alone
Yet lonely
I crash
This is rash
Not funny
For love
Not money
For shame
This isn’t right
Phone?
Text too?
Can’t do it
If only......
Still I try
Again?
Why?
Gambling on you
Gets me by



I

Sad house
I have to go
You were nonchalant
Concerning fears
Unresponsive to tears
You needed love
You craved laughter
In the rafters
Ringing up above
You were grief
No relief
Relentless pain
Can’t do this again
I’m here for now
God knows how
I do it
I’ll get through it
Please believe
When I leave
I'll find
Good people
To leave  behind
Before I go sad
Or bad........

Or  out of my mind

The daily humdrum of the mundane day
has left me feeling empty.
I'm sleep walking through the hours that make up my day.
I'm night thinking in the dark to avoid the nightmares.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being resilient...

of being in charge.

I'm tired of responsibility

and society.

I'm tired.

It's a nightmare of a journey
Through the Rose Hills.
White roses cover death
Along side the 50mph ride.
We'll speed down the boulevard
Turning right, swerving left.
Drink some beer on Broadway,
Smoke some cigarettes at CVS.
Then I'll fill your heart with rose petals
And regret.
You grin and whisper gently
I'll meet you in Whittier at Sunset.

Lets muddle through Greenleaf
Under a cerulean sky.
I got lost in the time held in your eyes.
I stumble back to only trip into your disguise.
Only to drown in your lips and lies.
Dragging our souls to Hellman's and back,
I'll find you on Hadley letting the sun in,
Wilted in Whittier at sunset.

we all fall prey
to the monsters we create

hold my hand
so your thumb
can tap that beat
on my wrist
the one my heart
decided to keep