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Jul 9 · 143
bye
collin Jul 9
bye
speak to me in a tone
blanket me in the concept
of not being alone
supposed to be in love
it feels like that except
the trust and comfort and other stuff
that makes love…well love
collin Jul 4
i thought i would miss you more
finding peace in realizing my independence
left foot still trips on the steps but it’s wet
so i like to pretend it’s coincidence
collin Jun 17
my timing is always wrong
i belong
to a select percentage
of men who consented
to a whole life tormented
by you
Jun 17 · 32
born ultimatum
collin Jun 17
i want to be in love again
the necessity of morning coffee beyond
head spinning drunk and madly grinning
devious shifting of hips and hops cementing
nights that never end until the
sunrise starts ringing

i want to be in love again
or just a little bit closer than only talking
when you want to or when it’s not too
inconvenient
Jun 12 · 47
spandex
collin Jun 12
breathing even feels distance now
a smog of hissing remembrances of incidents
i wore a fools hat and pranced and danced
and pretended it was happen stance
a lack of loving anything for so long
became the reason i could not love at all
Jun 12 · 160
i felt happy
collin Jun 12
feeling amazing
i graze upon
seeking saline
and saying
out loud
the things i’ve lost
redirecting the pain i felt
the insane i was dealt
matriarchal reign
my adolescent hell
i descend as i dwell
i wish the memories erased
and well, i am still presented
with a text and facetime call
each week, wishing me well
Jun 12 · 36
beyond
collin Jun 12
i am wrong
more often than not
tying cherry stems
as the seeds slide
back in my throat
collin May 27
dim lit violet flowers.
split the domestic silence
into orange slices,
divided and dispersed
amongst the children.
all responsibility for
psychiatric casualty
no longer your own.
free to fill the glass
with half-full happiness
while the litter are splintered
with fiber glass from sandbags
and burdened shoulders.
May 22 · 355
re:construct
collin May 22
charred scaffolding reeks through these
hallways, a testimony to rebuilding
envious emotions attempt to steal the feelings
seasoned demons attempt to seal the ceiling
revealing insecurities still healing
broken bones cannot mend bridges
the strongest doors have the most hinges
Apr 30 · 37
Diem
collin Apr 30
disingenuous nonsense
i feel rotten
since when did solemn promises
become candle wax and ash?
collin Apr 3
we walked through smog
and fields of unfamiliar flora
and something similar to rice
the judgement of korean farmers
failed to pierce the pure happiness
possessed in every tiny step you made
five fingers grasped firmly around one
and a cup full of cheerios
Mar 9 · 247
deflected
collin Mar 9
cosmetics written on her hieroglyphic lips
whispering, i’m no stranger to danger
always knew she wasn’t new to bad news
patchwork quilt of sunday comics
key and peele
Feb 21 · 123
downpour
collin Feb 21
i miss the days before the flood
when jokes were funny
when pockets held money
when mornings were sunny
instead of nose runny
tears corroding cheeks
deep canyons out of creeks
resentment when we speak
impaled on mountain peaks
stress is a disease
i miss the day we find a vaccine
Feb 14 · 40
an impressionist
collin Feb 14
i wanted love
and received something similar

i believed in what?
a girl who only wore sweatshirts

she spoke of the dreams she had
and none of them felt like my tee shirt
pullover, zip up or button down
now the clown that frowns is me
painting in watercolor never felt so painful
Feb 14 · 139
serpent sin
collin Feb 14
smelling glass with a fist full
of metal memories so heavy
and dense dropping segments
creates dents in the floorboards
message sent but what do i repent for?
Feb 14 · 46
quarantine
collin Feb 14
you asked if i had a window
i do but it only opens at the top
so people don’t jump out of it
Feb 14 · 44
v day 2021
collin Feb 14
the least appropriate
cornucopia of emotion
smothered in gestures
less love than lust
and gusts of envious
rust shaken off these robot bones
i guess it’s not for everyone
Feb 6 · 155
San A
collin Feb 6
gone but not forgotten
a sentiment often lost upon
me for being too cheesy
imagine me, she sees something
i can’t


mirrors lie and every once in a while
you find an avocado that’s not rotten
Jan 31 · 179
cheese
collin Jan 31
from the womb
the love you exude
similar to seeking
warmth from the moon
Jan 30 · 44
childhood sweethearts
collin Jan 30
split lip
chapped like cracked pavement
seeped blood over statements
like a pact. in fact, the same cave
in which we saved the game
a new chapter
the last page stained
Jan 30 · 212
cps
collin Jan 30
cps
splintered bone marrow
broken, brittle and for a minute
felt something akin to happiness
maybe pain’s what’s been missing
kissing curbs with flintstone lipstick
Jan 21 · 228
MYLTIVERSE
collin Jan 21
Our love
is the dry sighs at dry jokes
at a high five at five in the morning
lacing dreams and subconscious snoring
no more exploring the subtle scores
if i’m boring, you’re boring
found a little soft sound brown couch cushion.
Jan 21 · 175
locked in
collin Jan 21
i have yet to decide
my favorite vice
they all taste like the same spices
Jan 17 · 56
changing of the guard
collin Jan 17
warm red seeping through my eyelids
while blue skies wed the cloud’s soft white beds
a sleepy breeze whispering behind the shed
lifting the frozen winters head to force him
to peak and see the tread marks of summer
searing their words into subtle spring smells
the new season thaws the thoughts
that felt like frozen hell.
Jan 17 · 46
grandpas dead
collin Jan 17
it’s the discomfort
in the comfort drenched in sweat
i find so relaxing
Jan 17 · 55
glossy finish
collin Jan 17
hey
man
relax
he said

the
cops
are on their way

pay
the
fine
i try to comply

but end up in the newspaper instead
Jan 17 · 53
alumn
collin Jan 17
dust sprinkled donuts
i remember you from high school
she whispered behind a curtain
made of lace and laced with liquorice
wicked little sentiments
i dropped the keys like a mile back
Jan 15 · 365
incendiary hearts
collin Jan 15
i believed in seeing candles
i paused to hear your breathing
flames that faint and flicker that way
don’t have the heart to burn through ceilings
Jan 9 · 1.1k
bookworm
collin Jan 9
distance, lost among the pages
two different people
two different places
left behind, dog eared fragments
sometimes i think it’s ok
to judge a street by its pavement
collin Sep 2020
a foreign feeling
a stranger lurking
myself in my own skin
my own evil smirking
Sep 2020 · 53
ding dong
collin Sep 2020
i felt my legs cemented
in denim, drenched in sweat
vaulting fences in defense
of getting sentenced.

privileged to lay against a bed
when all is said and done
we lay with white linen
reminiscing on the battles won
while darker skinneded children
live in fear for things they haven’t done
privilege.
#blm
Jun 2020 · 50
terribly lost
collin Jun 2020
i sneezed and my eyes watered
and it felt good because it was the closest i could get to crying despite the demons hiding and flying and the dark clouds colliding
thunderstorms with no chance of precipitation
i want to cry but can’t for the life of me
the faster i run the thinner the air becomes
it’s so hard to breathe and everyday i feel less like myself, a shell and everything i hate is the pearl inside being pressed and designed with hopes that one day it’ll be worth something
i’m jealous of the night sky because even in its darkness, even behind its clouds there’s still stars that shine
collin Jun 2020
tingling toes tell the tales of my woes
so self aware with my laser set to stun
i’ve always known, it’s just the way it goes
under the gun and staring into the sun
i thought i won but i’m the first one drunk
on spider webs weaved and spun
my mind as stagnate as the wind around the sun
my thoughts have begun to run on my *****
hunched over failure or lack there of
with nothing left inside my lungs
Jun 2020 · 57
two cents spent.
collin Jun 2020
suffocating
love’s faded
waited days and days
placated misplaced rage
displaced into this place
ran out of disk space
to save the memories

like pencil lead on scratch paper
scratched that but a tad later i
stenciled dad or divine savior
pancreatic cancer for hard labor
****** barracks room and beatsaber
keep safe in states
united to sleep with cheap skates
carolina reaper states the heat flavor
all my dreams on a piece of paper
scratch paper..
Jun 2020 · 59
Larry’s Wax Friend
collin Jun 2020
all this time
and all i got

it’s all i am
not what you thought
but what you bought
not what you sought
distraught.

i was meant to be something else entirely
but i forgot.
May 2020 · 40
quarantine.
collin May 2020
boxer briefs



not boxers
not briefs
barely reached
the space for *****
call of duty
winnie pooh
oversized stained gray tee
shirt from an old team
maybe even summer league
half pint
ice cream
ben
and
jerry
and an entire bottle of irish whiskey
May 2020 · 49
balanced. composed.
collin May 2020
80 proof
swimming pool
wading
praying
star gazing
but constellations, impatient
keep saying
i’m stagnant
even though they’re the ones laced in pavement
i think without saying
a thousand ways to take it
just take it please
******* take it


but i’ll rearrange the statement
to better explain it to the basement
sick and ******* tired
of wondering where my days went
Apr 2020 · 362
whispering secrets
collin Apr 2020
would it be sincere
this endearing
persevering
list of words
when no ones hearing

catching breath
just beneath the crest
of a sweater vest
better words i’ve said
are always left unsaid

they will only bring you pain
they will only leave me sane
they are always left to rest
unsaid and feelings still remain

talking to a wall
because the windows would be appalled
collin Apr 2020
sticky traction of new shoes on new black top
i felt the pull and my skin felt the warmth
our strongest star kissed both of our scars
as if within its own reaction
leave the wheels on the bumpy pavement
when he falls asleep he ignores irritation
peaking in backyards we reminisce
about a future, we suture and never miss.
Apr 2020 · 239
candle
collin Apr 2020
my only solid words
sketched off stencils
when my speech is slurred
whiskey wicked wisdom
stupidly obscured
my favored company’s absurd
lips like lemonade and pure
i like my friends like i like my friends
collin Apr 2020
broken glass
never tasted
so **** good

suffocating
on air i once
felt so **** pure

but now it burns like ******
collin Apr 2020
beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die
Feb 2020 · 535
One night stand
collin Feb 2020
blown beyond
but not between
believe in our best
Jan 2020 · 180
Golden Guilt
collin Jan 2020
his screaming, dead, grey
cast iron eyes were strong
petrified by conjured up lies
bent over and built with bronze

burnt and glazed
like candle wax upon his own lips
everything grey was turned to
spent silver bullets

all the shell casings dropped into a hot tin
the last remaining platinum lips
the metals that still haunt him
i’m a smith of my own demise.
Dec 2019 · 91
never not forgotten
collin Dec 2019
whether lost in a sudden lust
or caught up in long lost love
or rotting away with my very own rust
or strung up in a past life by the constable
forgetting you is literally impossible.
Dec 2019 · 320
still not forgotten.
collin Dec 2019
on some sunny summer day
when the wind slips sleepily on my synapse
the dark grey engravings
of everything you have ever meant to me
warm against the winter memories
of everything else
Dec 2019 · 126
not forgotten.
collin Dec 2019
prosthetic limbs
as fake as their movements
placed the porcelain doll behind the clock
aging gave way to the dust upon her hands
wrapped in burning calendar pages
despite the how much it ******* hurts.
Nov 2019 · 57
no title to speak of
collin Nov 2019
beautiful
sepia dust fallen upon
the lost and all creeping
relinquished the desperate
some simple lamenting beyond
whatever is cemented in
happy, green lawns
and illuminated lights to celebrate the holidays
being composed on any tier is sentimental
collin Nov 2019
She’ll never know
The soreness on knuckles
The bite marks on fingers
Anger dispersed upon two by fours
Through veins she’s never felt the pulse of

But she is so beautiful
The stabbing of deeper grey shades
The moon she’s so proud of
The girl I’m so proud of

She’s never been more gorgeous
To me, than seven months
And scribbling on canvas

I beat the **** out of door frames
I bit the hell out of my own hands
I loved the soul out of a woman
And wasn’t even the man I wanted
And honestly, she might just think I’m a ****** for doin so.

AND ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL HER
collin Nov 2019
with every wisp and tail
flickering and disappointing
littering the air with kissed feelings
my sleepy eyes succumb
to shade and lack there of
the flinting glimpses of whisks
my bones are numb
I have become.
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