hm. somehow i missed you,
anxiety. i feel
more myself, this is
familiarity in a
nutshell, i know the
buzz
in my chest cavity
better than i know
myself,
it seems.
i guess i'm not the epitome
of health, these days
late nights
droughts and self-doubt all
seem to take out
the part of me that used
to dream. or think. or
do anything at all
really.
i guess that's okay,
i guess
between loneliness
and fear there's
an alleyway, home,
a place you don't go
until you're there,
realizing more
and more
how easy it is to stay
and how hard it is to care.

It was like her hair captured the sunlight and created a whole new color.  It was the color called "Beauty."  My chest got heavy and I almost forgot to breathe.  If the soul is colorless her smile in the sun gave color to mine.  Until the one day she smiled at me..  I saw an aura of colors that could create a universe.

as you look this way
for I don't have a pen or paper
to write you down before you fade.