paranoid??? - Hello Poetry

Jan 2015

jennifer ann

"charlotte, are you ok?" my father questions. i'm looking up at the television, still stunned. it cant be. she was found dead on the scene, she had a severe lung infection, and inhaled far too much of the smoke from the fire. she didn't make it out of that apartment building alive, but i saw her... "um..i'm fine, just rediculously clumsy thats all." i nervously lie, quickly grabbing a broom and sweeping up the glass. and my father looks at me like i'm some kind of alien from outer space that he can no longer reach anymore. and somes i wonder if there is anything to reach for. maybe i'm just a mouse going through a maze that never ends, always hoping my piece of cheese will be around the corner but only finding another berrier or a path way that is going to lead me absolutely nowhere.

#ghost #paranormal #paranoid

Nov 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid? part 7? idk

Charlotte sat in her queen sized canopy bed in her attict bedroom, her crimson red hair hanging over her face as she scribbled in her journal. her hands trembling. her pulse racing, overwhelmed with sadness, and anxiety.

dear journal,

i feel like an ant in the ocean, being tossed every which way by multiple tides and ruthlessly ripped apart. i feel useless and hopeless and confused. nothing ever gets better, only worse. and i feel so tired and beaten down by life. i just want to give up, because i dont have any fight in me, not anymore. im too damaged. i'm 18 years old and i feel like i've had enough of life. & that it's too laight for me. i dont want to live this life anymore .

charlottes p.o.v
i walk down the stairs and into the kitchen to get a glass of water. only to walk in on my mother and father watching the 10 oclock news, i see the apartment building on fire and all of the people standing around it hugging talking and crying. and then i a reporter comes on. "sophia ryan, 87 year old resident passed away in this fire. not only did the residents of this apartment building lose all of there belongings but a closs friend as well." a picture of the old woman is now on the screen. it's her. my eyes widen and my hands begin to shake. i drop the glass that i was holding and it shatters all over the kitchen floor. my father jumps and looks back at me with fear and confusion in his eyes.

#depression #death #loss #paranormal #paranoia

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid? part 6

i roll my eyes, shake my head and let out a deep sigh. "no dad... she was there. just because you didn't see her there doesnt mean that i'm just 'crazy and making it all up in my head'" i snickered. but does it? "im so tired of being judged and treated like some kind of fragile phsychopath. thats all you see when you look at me, you dont even know me anymore.. you don't even try. you leave that up to all of my councelors, and ****** therapists" i shake my head in frustration "i'm not crazy" i say, almost as if i'm trying to reasure myself. "charlotte... i, i dont know what to say." my father is lost for words and completly and utterly broken. "i've always just wanted what was best for you and your brother but somewhere along the line i must have failed you" i stare into space, nearly bursting into tears. i've never felt this guilty in my entire life.

#depression #death #loss #insanity #paranormal #tragedy #paranoia

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid? part 5

my father sighs "it is terrible, all of those people have lost their homes now... we should be thankful that we have a roof over our heads and clothes to put on our backs, im sure that all of rheir belongins were damaged in that fire." i nod sadly. he has a devistated look in his eyes, my father cares deeply for others. hes very sensitive and things effect him alot more than others. i guess thats where me and charlie got it from, because now i have the same devistated look in my eyes. "did you see the little old woman with the pink nightgown on?" i question. "she looked so lost."
"no, i didn't see an old woman." my father replys with a look of confusion, devistation, and concern. "how could you not see her? she stuck out like a sore thumb." i sadly reply. "she kept watching us..."
"charlotte." my father turns and looks into my eyes, his voice is calm but very serious and stern and he looks shocked and bewildered "there was no little old woman."

#suicide #depression #death #drugs #loss #paranormal #horror

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid? part 4

i sit in the passenger side of my dads old beat up chevy. it's early october and the rain is pooring down hard, i will be 18 soon. my fathers eyes widen and he stretches out his neck as we stumble upon a burning building. "looks like there must have been some kind of accident." he says sympatheticly. there are fire trucks and ambulances. people surround the building in tears, some wrapped up in blankets, and some hugging one another. but there is one woman who looks very lost, and out of place. she stares up at the building in confusion. her hair is very long and itlooks as if she hasnt brushed it in weeks. her skin is very pail and she wears a pink nightgown, covered in flowers. she looks very feeble and fragile, and as if she might be in her laight 80s. "she didnt make it" someone in the crowd crys out. the woman stands out, like she's in a fog. and the crowd doesnt even notice her presence as they console one another. the woman turns and looks at me and my father as we slowly drive by. her stare is eerie and unsettling. something about her presence makes my heart feel heavy. and i can't seem to shake the feeling even after she is nolonger in sight. i look back at her, and she's still watching me. i raise an eyebrow and turn my head back around and sigh. "how terrible."

#suicide #depression #death #loss #paranormal #horror #insane #spirits #ghosts #paranoid

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid chapter 1

i am in a steele cage, the bars are cold and rusty. the cage is surrounded by barbed wire. i can hear a man hysterically laughing in the distance. but i cant see him,it's dark and i am surrounded by fog. where am i? the laughter is sadistic and malicious. i grab the bars and pull them as hard as i can the barbed wire digging into my palms, i begin to bleed. i try to scream but nothing comes out. my eyes widden with fear. and the laughter gets louder. like it's taunting me. i begin to cry and i open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out and i begin to cough up blood. blood spills from my mouth like a horrifying flood and i stare down at my ******, trembling hands in terror. suddenly i see a face make it's way out of the fog. it is a man with dark shoulder length hair and a beard. he wears an army jacket, old tattered blue jeans and black work boots. his stare is cold and blank. and i feel like his souless black eyes are slowly ******* the life out of me. he laughs in my face and i cover my eyes in terror.

i awake in shock. my heart races, my hands shake. i still feel like i'm in the nightmare. i take a deep breath and close my eyes. letting out a deep sigh.

#short #death #depressed #story #paranormal #nightmare #ghosts

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoid?

paranoid chapter 1

Charlottes p.o.v

i cry until im sick, coughing and short of breath. i cry hysterically. i feel like i have been hit in the chest with a stray bullet. and i dont look up until i can't feel him there anymore. eventhough i know deep inside that the illousion of charlie will come back, it always comes back... nomatter where i am. busses, street corners, asylums. mom and dad think that if we move far away that everything will change. that i'll stop seeing charlie. that i'll be 'miraculously cured'. that they'l finaly have there daughter back. and that they will finaly be able to move on, and stop grieving the loss of their only son. i don't blame them, everything in the old house reminds me of charlie, too. but i know that when we move that nothing will change, that theres no hope for me, that i'm just as dead as he is. but thats not what hurts the most. what hurts the most is knowing that i'm going to let them down, and destroy any little bit of hope that they might have had for me. i am nothing but a burden. and there is nothing that i can do about it. i cry until im tired, and i slip into a deep sleep.

#heartbreak #short #depression #death #drugs #loss #story #paranormal #tragic

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

Paranoid

chapter one. moving on and moving in.

Charlottes long crimson red hair hung over her face as she wrote in her journal. sitting on her queen sized bed infront of her bedroom window. a cold gust of wind blew through her long locks, sending chills up and down her spine. then she saw him.. sitting in an old apple tree infront of the house. the same apple tree that they had played in together as children, with the old tire swing hanging from it. charlie sitting there, and staring at her sympatheticly, with a dull wave. like nothing ever happened. like he hadn't been dead for 2 years. as she stared out of the window, her heart pounding, her hands trembling , to paralysed with fear to even scream, or run. she watched him mouth the words "i'm sorry." as he hung his head in shame, nervously kicking his feet back and fourth. Charlotte gasped and quickly slambed the window shut. her big green eyes swelling up with tears she placed her head in her trembling hands and began to sob uncontrollably. suddenly she felt a presence in the room and a cold finger tapping her shoulder. too terrified to look up, she closed her crying eyes and burried her head in her hands as she felt a cold hand pat her on the shoulder. and then she heard a very faint voice cry out "i'm sorry."

i know this is kind of lame i was just bored & felt like writing lol

#heartbreak #pain #death #loss #mystery #story #horror

Oct 2014

jennifer ann

paranoia chapter one

"moving on & moving in"

Charlotte sighed as she looked around her bedroom in the attict. there had been nothing left for her in the small town anymore. nothing but haunting memories, dark and blurry. reminders of her losses. & all of the things that could have been, should have been, and now never would be. memories that she used to treasure, now almost non-existant. & she hadn't been sure if it had been from all of the partying, or if it had been her minds way of trying to protect her from them. charlotte sealed up another box with tape which read "posters". so far charlotte had packed 8 boxes, 6 of which read posters aswell. all four walls had been covered with them, posters of beautiful places, song lyrics, and all of the rockstars that she adored. shaun morgan, kurt cobain, aaron lewis. joey ramone, alice cooper. she had basically spent all of her time there since Charlies death. listening to music, getting lost in the words of her favorite artists and authors. or poems and stories that she would write herself. when charlie died, charlotte checked out. almost as if she had died right along with him.

— The End —