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 Apr 13
Jellyfish
Bud
I hear her new hit and my past hits me like a mack truck.
I'm always falling into these ruts,
looking, searching, almost begging for reasons
Universe? Soul? God? Trauma?
Who made me like this?
I'm sick of this problem
Remembrance, rain dance, tears, karma
You're so embarrassing
"Go cry where no one's watching"
He said that to me and I stayed around him-
*****.
I isolated so hard, I tried to be forgotten
but deep down I just want to feel understood
like any other person
I want love and care,
Hurt me, choke me, leave marks where no one sees but me.
Just say you love me after;
I won't care if it aches.
I've already been in pain, irritated or feeling worthless
I haven't cared while caring so much
I'm sick of this problem
I want to blossom but it seems I'm a bud
 Jul 2024
Jellyfish
As far back as I can see
I've always had a question,
"Whats wrong with me?"

I can't connect with my sisters,
or with my mom or dad,
My face, to them, only ever looks sad.

I want to say maybe this wasn't always the case,
Maybe before I can remember,
There was something that changed?

I don't know what shifted,
What made me so different
I just know I felt unwanted often.
 Jun 2024
Jellyfish
I feel like a half moon in a full blue sky, Weaving neap tides, a subtle lullaby. I drift in circles, revisiting places, Wishing the wind could carry me through spaces.

Caught in a cycle, I must confess, Some days I feel whole, moments of success. Everything's beautiful when I’m truly living, Yet I always find myself back at the beginning.

Like the moon, I have my phases, A relentless return to familiar places. In an unbroken cycle, a path well-tread, Like the moon, my heart waxes and wanes instead.

I'm a half moon in a full blue sky, Weaving neap tides, singing a lullaby. Drifting in circles, retracing my steps, Wishing the wind could carry me, I confess.

In this cycle, I find my truth, Days of fullness, moments of youth. When I'm present, life is a vivid scene, Yet I always return to where I’ve been.

Like the moon, my phases are clear, Always returning, year after year. In this unbroken cycle, my heart finds its way, Waxing and waning, night turns into day
 May 2024
Jellyfish
I let fear fog up my mind
My thoughts yell at me "I'm trying!"
While my actions show me
I want to let the light in

but I fall into darkness
all too often I hide away
and avoid the open blue sky
because the rainclouds distract my mind

the sky-blue sheet above me
only inspires every thought
I try to avoid to blow through
and bring rain from within
 May 2024
Nylee
I'll belong if I am me

But If I am anyone else
All I want is to fit in
I won't ever win

the game is twisted in design
And I am forbidden
To cross the drawn line.
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