I was the star
who lost his
glow -

automated
as I function
living for the
sake of living
as my heart
has stop breathing
the love he
suppose to
give.

so...
I burried my own
unglowing star
thinking
its hopeless.

I've been reading, reading,
watching, watching,
and working, working
same old, same old
until I lost my glow
and stop being wishful
as I know time has stop
as I drop
my dream,
sometimes....

I lived because
I can still pretend.

a bird, clever, watched my footsteps
took note of my being, my general movements,
was I injured, slow, old, at the near end of my days.
this bird has been around for all my wandering
and I would not be whole without its presence.
Hoodie Crows, that clever bird,
may yet peck and pick over my carcass.

What do I have left to give
I’m spent and fading like a week-old rose

I gave my beauty to uncaring eyes
Who never saw beyond the makeup

I gave my talent to unfeeling moguls
Who used it just to monetize

I gave my wisdom to foolish clowns
Who read my musings upside down

I gave my razor wit to empty faces
Who never tried to get the joke

I gave my toil to unappreciation
And unwillingness to compensate

I sang my song to deafened ears
And never got to hear applause

I wrote my words on tissue paper
And they left them outside in the rain

I gave my heart in hopeful sharing
And got it back in shredded pieces

I have nothing left to give....but up
And somehow I just can’t do that.
ljm

It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
of times.
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.

~

Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
While some,
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.

© BT

I feel so far behind.
It eats at me,
fills me with envy,
fills my throat with bile.

My friends, family,
are just given things.
I mean, that's what family does, right?
They create a support system,
and help each other.

I barely had hand-me-downs.
Even now, if I want something,
I have to buy it.
There's no one I can mention it to
that might get it for me
as a gift.
I've earned nearly everything I have.

I know it sounds silly.
I'm not even materialistic,
but I feel so far behind.
I see people doing things at my age,
**** I want to do,
but can't
because I'm still trying to earn my way
to where they were
in high school.

I am the support in the family.
I always have been.
I know it's selfish,
but where's mine?

I feel so far behind
with no one around
to lend a hand.

You were born on Wednesday
Almost a year to the day
Since Mamma had passed away.....
Elizabeth Anne
Head full of dark brown curls
Just like your mother
My sister
It was my first time seeing a baby born
It was beautiful and a little disgusting
All at the same time
I may or may not have had to hold up
the wall for a brief moment or two :)
Just goes to show you something beautiful
did come out of this evil darkened world
A world so cruel as to take a mom
from three daughters who still needed her so
I was just eighteen and beginning my freedom
and you were just born and beginning your life

Surely the saddest thing in the world must be
To see someone​ you once knew intimately
And they look straight​ through you with unknowing eyes
Which slowly dilate in surprise

Awkwardly you start to speak
And gaze upon that face, that cheek
That you once rained kisses upon
Now it's not yours, those days are gone

And you realise what once was " we "
Is now only " you " and​ " me "
Two people who are worlds apart
And once again you've broken my heart

Did you take your soul to a land
Where those with hope do not linger
And apprenticeships have been served
With cuts and broken fingers

Oh these days of hardships swell
Cries the mother with howling baby
Who would care and who would dare
To risk their spare change lately

And now you walk on broken stones
With your feet wrapped in newspapers
But they say it's alternative news
Perhaps you'll learn the truth later

So is this the place your soul should be
In this land of hate and anger
Where you would place your fragile fate
In the hands of a stranger

He may be God he may be not
He could be a fallen angel
In this land of decay and rot
Who would trust a stranger

                                           By Phil Roberts