The Moon

We are the waxen crescent feast of star shine
the poetic moon groom,
the romantic echo of sun
while it murmurs in swishing tide of peaceful sleep
each half of the heart drawn by the moonlit *****
strolling the Titanic proportionate
a two headed bobbing horizon lost at sea
could you dream of me in dune songs
whispering tomorrow dawning in summer sonnets
could you think of me possibly
when ever you gaze up at a waxing Moon.

I figured out my suicide plan doctor
You've been asking if I had one
And now I do
I want to swallow just enough pills
Not to much
Just enough to make the voices in my head finally go way
Then I will climb to the roof
with my note books
Every single thing I've ever written
And I will bring my best friend
*****
Yes doctor, I've told you that I have other friends, but ***** was here when no one else was
And I will write till the voices come back
I will write about every time I have tried to **** myself
I will write a letter to everyone who knows me
Even the janitor that found me skipping class my sophomore year
And the boys on the bus from middle school
Even the people who wont let my name soil their lips
Doc, I'm gonna write these letters because I need everyone to have a permeant personal good bye, something physical
I will fill up two note books with everything I write
And then I will write to whatever god there may be
And tell them I'm sorry that I had to end everything this way
You see doctor I've never believed in God, but if there is even a small chance he's real I don't want to leave on bad terms
I'm going to write down every coping skill I know and address it in a letter to my parents
Then once I can no longer write even my name
I will stand and dance in the light of the moon
Letting the soft glow dance on my skin
And I will ignore the chill of the night
I will dance till my knees shake
And then I will speak to the moon
Doc the moon is like *****, Its always been there
I will apologize to the moon
Reaching to hold it in my arms
Toes on the edge
I will fall reaching for the moon
And in the final moments I will rejoice in the cool wind nipping at my skin
I will bask in the soft shimmer of the stars
I will say I'm sorry as the soft grass makes contact with the back of my head
You see doctor I've figured out my suicide plan

I went to a place.
Dark and lit by city lights.
I let me heart rest, my mind...not up to the task,
I let the moon handle that.

The stadiums are sound  asleep,
the three rivers calm and live as always.
The fountain shines high tonight, well deserved appearence.
All I can hear is tires on construction roads.
I can hear the *** holes laugh from here.

It's sad really.
I will never see it as others do.
The burden of knowing the truth.

I wonder what it's like to be you,
Who are you in moments of quiet?
Why do you search it but revel in chaos?
You are a question unanswered,
A mystery many have tried to solve,
and fell to their deaths as they did so,

You are more than a woman,
a curiosity never sated,
a love never fulfilled,
and a lust that consumes my every waking moment.

I know you, what you show me anyway,
and I ache to know more.

When will you hear me?
Do I wait or make you listen?

Or shall I keep you on this pedestal?
Like the far reaching stars,
A beautiful light that I'll never touch...

He is a Fried Egg Jellyfish,
nonetheless he was ignorant
Always pushing things on me
He never considered feelings
Like the Phacellophora camtschatica
his sting is rather weak.
But that doesn't seem to explain
why it took me so long to see
that he was only after one thing.
-
She is a Pacific Sea Nettle
Glowing; always and forever.
I embrace her light even when
I'm feeling smothered.
She is amazing in many ways
But could become dangerous
in a matter of days.
Just like the Chrysaora fuscescens,
She is made of many colors.
Which is why I can't stop looking at her.
-
He is a Purple Striped Jelly
One of the most painful out of these
Oh sweet, Chrysaora colorata,
he truly stung me.
So beautiful inside and out
I should've looked but never touched
I just wanted to be his cancer crab,
but I never was one..
I was the ocean sunfish biting back.
-
He is a Golden Jellyfish
Beautifully mysterious as always
I want to dive straight into him
As I would the lake that the smack lives in.
Very similar to the lake
he is full of golden aspects
that I long to intake.
He hasn't stung me yet,
So why should I ponder mistakes?
He'll always be stuck inside of my head.

Keep up thy vigil, dimpled shepherdess!
Gift night a lantern light to guide lost stars
Strayed from the flock, treaty with tenderness
Soft grazing grounds in heaven's nebulas,

Look low for lone stars fallen from on high,
Feasting on kindling tree-tops laced in cloaks
Of lily blossomed snowy dew drop sighs
Billowed from scattered cushion clouded smokes,

Look further still beneath the ice-fringed eaves
Of gold-spun thatched roofs dotted down the lane,
Footfall echoes stolen by kingly thieves
Triumphantly majestic in their rain:

Look last for shadow framed in windowed light
Keeping thy lonely vigil through the night.

Our milky way galaxy floating thru space
its translucent circling orb alight
alive prana  the dots of energy minature Stars
holding hue beings space travelers
in the darkness of space revealed
as prana we exit the womb living creation
the light orbs milk awaits us  
this cosmos existence adores  surrounds me
centering life in Earth the Eco-system
apter genick learning cells fighting extinction
imperial magistrates a re-leafing of stress
brought on by diet and habitat pollution
I reach into the sky aware of space travelling
regions the path prana exists in homes of love
to hold the consciousness of life the Universe
allows the roots chosen thru the cosmic life
in the living consciousness of love love
the binding force of all nature reactions living
for the one of all the great quest for Eternity
the beings of prauna sending cosmic messages
for the quest of being a Star is the mighty
life, has no god to rule it forth
ruled by the life creation alive
alining thru time and space all
the the orbs come together
the life energy of the future survivial
the mothers apter genick learning
of cells to reach all of life
to come together as one being
the one for ALL
a story to tell how will we survive
our pranua  each life orb a moment divine
seeking you out listen  feel the calling
life of humanity eternity the wailing over
you are here to be replaced
just visit to continue onward
life is pleasure open life to receive
live the moment  of egg and seed
the burst the rush rises and goes in a second
the prana of life creation memories
that lead to channels of new being
one drop of you or ten  moment upon moment
orbs dots of you swirling translucent
being the created in light of a moment
here we are manifested in a body a hue being
of light and dreams working out a scheme
to be eternity prana living the joy
the love of a moment for ever
to travel in time to be renewed
a change from born again
Eternity of love the orb of prana   gjmars 6/10/15