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 Nov 2014
Ember Evanescent
A conversation with my little cousins:

Him: Knock knock!

Me: Who's there?

Him: Doctor!

Me: Doctor Who?

Him: Exactly!
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hahaha That's very funny darling.

His little brother: KNOCK KNOCK!

Me: Who's there?

His little brother: um... um... I forgot, wait no um POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA!

Me: Potato muffin banana ninja who?

His little brother: EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Um... yeah. hahaha...

Him: HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY!

Me: Um, yes. Sure. ha. haha. hahaha...

His little brother: It's funny because I said POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA and then you said WHO and then I said EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: *** I think they are both having seizures...

---------------------

But I love them with all my heart!!!
<3

(My littlest cousin is obsessed with potatoes, muffins, bananas, and  ninjas. I don't know it's weird dont ask)
They are very little and funny in the randomest way. Even if they literally do NOT understand the concept of humor, they are very clever boys and it is just hilarious to watch them laugh.
Anybody have funny stories about a family member who is or was very little and did something very cute or funny or anything?
 Nov 2014
Poetic T
I don't say
Trump
I don't say
****
I don't say "that one nearly"
"Dam change of boxers that wasn't smart"
I don't like to
"Sneeze"
And do one at the same time,
You know what I'm talking about,
Hurts both sides at the same time
I don't stay around when the
Silent
But
Deadly
Sneaks out to say hello,
Removing a crowd at twenty feet
Saying did something die what is that smell,
And too my little ones
Its called a
"Bottom"
"Belch"
As its LOUD*
They giggle as one does rip
"Then the other lets another out"
There embarrassing in a lift
If squeezed  out loud and proud
Enclosed spaces are the define
No
No,
As you may be the one gagging
Upon you own smell,
We all have names for this noisy smell
But to my little ones its know as the **Bottom Belch.
Just a fun one, this one is silent :)
 Nov 2014
Poetic T
"Once upon a time there was"
"no"
      "No"
            "NO"
"Many moons ago"
"There was a dreamer"
Who wished with all her heart,
To find the gold at the rainbows end,
She would look for clouds
Bursting
Up
High,
Her mother smiled.
"Are you still searching for that rainbows end"
"Pamela  your dreams are the clouds"
"Mummy a *** of gold I will find"
"For if you latch on to one"
"You will find yourself upon the other side""
Then one morning awoke to find a rainbow
Moving over her lawn,
Blouse,
Trousers,
Shoes
On too, she had packed a case
Encase this time did come true,
She slid down the banister
"Whoooooosh"
Through the front door,
Just as it was fading
Hands did grab hold,
She was surrounded by colours
Red,
                Orange
Yellow
                 Green
Blue
               Indigo
Violet
All were pure and bright, then with a
"Thump"
On her bottom she did land, surrounded
By beauty, plants the colours of the rainbow
"Blue leaves"
"Grass was orange"
Sky was all shades of the rainbow too,
A *** seen, gold did gleam,
Mouth wide open,
A violent fly flew in then out,
"Gross"
And she then quickly shut her mouth,
She was over the moon, the rainbow too,
She picked it up,
Lighter than she thought??
She picked one up
Put it too her mouth,
And bit,
It was squiggly in her mouth
"Gross"
Twice in two minutes,
She was
Sullen,
Grumpy,
Tears
Did cascade from little eyes,
They came out
Colours of the rainbow
Which lightened her mood,
She wiped her tears looked once, twice
Then hands upon the rainbow,
And whoosh, she landed with a
"Thump"
On next doors cow,
"MMmmmoooooo"
Went the cow,
"AAaahhhhhhh"
Went Pamela,
She ran with  a
Scare
And
Fright,
As in the distance still hearing the angry
"MMMmmoooooooooooo"
She ran to her house, opened the door,
"MUM"
"MUM"
"MUM"
With a fright her mum ran out,
"Pamela"
"My baby are you all right"
"I found the rainbow"
"I found the ***"
"I found a land of colour,"
"But the treasure wasn't right"
All said with in one breathe,
Now breath my angel,
As mother did take a coin
Opened it carefully and with the tip
Of here finger tasted it,
"MMmmmm"
So creamy, so light,
As she took her in the kitchen,
And the toaster minutes later
POPPED out,
Spreading it evenly, and eaten was
The toast crust and all,
"Mummy may I try one"
Pamela said
"Magic words my honey bear"
"Please may I try one"
And with that the toast again
POPPED out,
"MMmmmmmmm"
"My gosh mummy this tastes divine"
"You found a golden treasure that's for sure"
As they had toast each morning,
Opening a coin spreading it evenly,
"It was a taste to behold"
The treasure at the end of the rainbow,
Wasn't money, but I was something better
A taste that put a smile on faces
Every morning at *breakfast time.
 Nov 2014
Derpy Chip
Step 1: notice that your body is covered in skin
Step 2: say, "Wow! I'm really Skinny!"
Congratulations you are now skinny!
Hehehaha
 Nov 2014
kaylan joseph
She is my everything
if i wanted to get her a wedding ring  
i would have to sleep on it
she has supported me though the rough and the bleak
comforts me and watches me sleep  
but people wonder how i can have a relationship so discreet
with girl who only talks in creeks  
only loved when in these sheets
she's felt every inch of my body
witnessed me do any hobby  
and even though im a little sloppy
she waits to lay with me
and even though ill go from ocean to cactus
across the globe and threw the atlas  
you will always be
My love  
My dear  
My mattress
 Nov 2014
Ember Evanescent
They say if you cry, you cry alone.
They say it’s a dog eat dog world out there and it isn’t made of sugarplums and rainbows.
But there is a pretty side to this world.
Smile and the world smiles with you
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Hysterically cackle for 10 minutes straight
in dead silence for no apparent reason at the local supermarket
and the world slowly backs away from you
and calls the mental hospital (then you scream: I can’t go back!!)

Ohhhh, riiiight! THAT’S why I don’t have a boyfriend!

Repost if you are just insanely weird like me.
 Nov 2014
Poetic T
The
Jester
Laughs
As
Laughter
Kept
Him
Alive,
When he slit the throats of fake kings
He looked upon Them,
And said,
Who's laughing now, as laughter faded down the halls
 Nov 2014
Joseph Sinclair
by Philip Larkin

They ******* up, your mum and dad.
  They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
  And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****** up in their turn
  By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
  And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
  It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
  And don't have any kids yourself.

                                         Philip Larkin
This is intended to be included in the collection entitled Cultured Pearls which is to be devoted to poetry by poets other than myself that has had some special meaning for me.
 Nov 2014
Joseph Sinclair
The problem with hypochondriacs
Is that they outlive the rest of us.
"I can’t last long"
You'll hear them swear
But just like tax they’re always there.
It's not really poetry - at least by my standards - but I woke up this morning with the thought in mind and quickly committed it to paper.
 Nov 2014
Just Melz
I say "Hello?"

Automated Female Voice: (you know the one)

"All of our representatives are currently busy with other calls, please hold. Your call is important to us."




"*****!!.... YOU called ME!!!"


*click
I get these calls on a regular basis...  Like, seriously...  Don't call me then try to put me on hold like I care who the ******* are...  ****..  ****** me off...
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