On a dime it turns
Vertical and sharper than any knife
Falling to one side
Suddenly
And the next thing you know
You’re not there anymore
In life

Do I dare say that I wish I was invisible
That people didn’t look at me and on the streets I could walk peacefully
No shady eyes or stares
Perhaps it’s my paranoia and perhaps nobody cares
The thing that gets me the most about life
Is the insurmountable amount of hype
I get it’s a gift and believe me, I’m grateful
But this distasteful existence I lead is starting to get to my head
Like the smell of cigarettes in my mothers car
No matter how far the drive I would hold my breath and hope to survive
I kind of feel like life is this way
Because despite my actions day to day I still wonder why I’m here and what is it that I walk on the street and fear
Is it the people and their perceptions
Or is it me and how I view myself
Fearful of astral projecting it onto everybody else
If they thought of me the way I think of me then holy hell what a different world this would be
I can’t understand why I float about here in space
But in case you were wondering I’m here for love and it doesn’t matter if you call me a disgrace
I think the man I’m in love with is from heaven above
And yes it’s unconventional, after all we live in to separate worlds
But he sees me for me and not my childish comments as a girl
For a second can you think what it would be like to not exist?
That’s a crisis all in itself and scientists are always ****** when you ask them what comes next in life for the dead
They can’t wrap their head around not being here
So they discount the new studies that come out every year
I don’t know what to believe and I really don’t care
Just get me away from this place so I can leave and be fine
I want to disappear like an erased pencil line

Sometimes I wish
I could just crawl out of
My body
My mind
Escape myself
And be free of thoughts
Feelings
And everything in between
Everything
That has ever caused me pain
And for a moment,
Just a sliver of a moment,
May I simply
just
be