To look inside is to become mesmerized.
Slip through unprecedented times,
galaxies lie behind draped curtains between your thighs.
I am an astronaut exploring your moon sign.
Hard to identify, your softened side.
I am an explorer, a sea merchant, and a florist.
Braiding twigs and ropes, I battle high winds that approach.
Deep along Saturn's rings, you will find me.
calculating precisely, brisk walking, and climbing the highest altitude shortening the distance between us two.
Eagerly desiring sparks that keep flying from me to you.
We landed between two worlds,
nor the past or future but quite certainly the present.
I am forging you, you are my forest.  
To love you, is to love me.
I adore us.

You are an ocean of love
I float and drift on your surface
but under your sparkling skin
teems an ineffable life
another world mostly unseen,
selfless, unsung, and undeserved.

But here I am not even skin deep.
Am I afraid
of drowning in your depth
of being overwhelmed
in my modest capacities?

Oh my love
even if I see only what you reveal
to the sighted
I saturate myself in your splendid shallows
and await those precious interludes
of your deeper touch.

thoughts in my head clouding my sight
my anxieties keeping me up at night
constantly thinking you’re not on my side
thinking that all my demons will collide

there’s something in the water i drink
i know this because i fear what i think
you tell me i’m crazy and that we’re okay
are you tired of reminding me everyday

i spin further away from my truth
i dive deeper into the pain of my youth
digging and searching for some peace
but these voices in my head don’t cease

i remember the rush the joy the ache
knowing there was something at stake
self harm my absolute longest lost friend
i hope that we never ever meet again

She grabbed me by my collar
& told me come quick.
The view of the moon was
Perfect, especially from this close.
Our combustion, our compulsion
I felt small compared to her
Sailing in a small metal boat
She grabbed me by the collar
To stop me from falling
The only best thing I could've done.
Defying the laws of gravity
I'd never been this high up
Reluctant to play make believe.
Falling and bumping my head
On a star.
She hooked me with the lure
Of her eye
And like a fish I'd evaporate
From a blue and green possibility
Into a rocket lure;
& hurled off into an unknown
Eternity of stars.
Skipped across the sky
Until out of sight

She had never said it first,
and it is doubtful she ever will.

Maybe it was the first disappointment...
She danced with her Dad,
a four year old toe head
standing on top of his feet,
uncoordinated,
hanging on for dear life!
A simple, child's mind
could never comprehend
why little a  girl
could not marry her Daddy.

Maybe it was The First.
He never said it,
neither did she.
They were never in love,
nor did they pretend to be.

Maybe it was The Taker,
The Worker, or The Money Maker,
on a cold Christmas
or a snowy New Year's Eve.
Maybe it was pieces,
parts of all of these.

Each one who came,
soon went,
another brick in her
tower of solitude.
A fortress built,
no man could penetrate.

You could have her,
sure...
But you could never
have her.
You could take her out
for seafood and wine,
and hold her hair back
when she puked.
You could take her to a Cubs game,
hot dogs, beer, and Harry Caray
in the seventh inning stretch...
But still, you could never
have her.
In the morning,
you, or you, or you
had to go.
You, or you, or you
could never get too close.

All the while
she was waiting,
watching and waiting...
Riding time,
longing for, and craving
the one to  bring the fire,
the one who could wrap
her in his flame.