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 Dec 2015
Aeerdna
Broken
Empty
I feel naked
Ashamed
My heart is exposed and my weaknesses are there
In everyone's eyes
My darkness only blinds me
I hear people laughing diabolically
Planning ways to use my flaws
I feel people getting too close
I cannot stop them
My wall is down, my broken arms
Cannot build a new one
I cannot run anymore
Cannot oppose them
I can't cover my nakedness.

My mind has become a blank page
I don’t know who I am anymore
I am lost
In the darkness I feel that I've never existed;
In my thoughts I see
Things that are not supposed to be here

Bitter words are flying in my brain
There’s a cold wind in my soul
I am getting cold
Like Andersen’s Little Match Girl
Dreaming hopelessly about some arms that could make me warm.

I hurt
I'm hunted by poltergeists,
With my bleeding hands I dig my own hole in the ground,
I hide in it
I close my eyes
I feel that I'm dying, but I know
I am only sleeping.


I can only hope that I will soon wake up from this nightmare
 Dec 2015
Aztec Warrior
HOME**

(a poem by Warsan Shire. She is a 23 year-old Somali born, London-based author and educator. This poem has been posted all over the internet. I found this copy in a revolutionary journal called, “A World To Win News Service” their web address is;   http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/AWorldToWinNewsService/)

no one leaves home unless
home is the mouth of a shark
you only run for the border
when you see the whole city running as well
your neighbors running faster than you?
breath ****** in their throats
the boy you went to school with
who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory
is holding a gun bigger than his body
you only leave home
when home won’t let you stay.
no one leaves home unless home chases you
fire under feet
hot blood in your belly
it’s not something you ever thought of doing
until the blade burnt threats into
your neck
and even then you carried the anthem under
your breath
only tearing up your passport in an airport toilet
sobbing as each mouthful of paper
made it clear that you wouldn't be going back.
you have to understand,
that no one puts their children in a boat
unless the water is safer than the land
no one burns their palms
under trains
beneath carriages
no one spends days and nights in the stomach of a truck
feeding on newspaper unless the miles traveled
means something more than journey.
no one crawls under fences
no one wants to be beaten
pitied
no one chooses refugee camps
or strip searches where your
body is left aching
or prison,
because prison is safer
than a city of fire
and one prison guard
in the night
is better than a truckload
of men who look like your father
no one could take it
no one could stomach it
no one skin would be tough enough
the go home blacks
refugees
***** immigrants
asylum seekers
******* our country dry
******* with their hands out
they smell strange

savage
messed up their country and now they want
to mess ours up
how do the words
the ***** looks
roll off your backs
maybe because the blow is softer
than a limb torn off
or the words are more tender
than fourteen men between
your legs
or the insults are easier
to swallow
than rubble
than bone
than your child's body
in pieces.


i want to go home,
but home is the mouth of a shark
home is the barrel of the gun
and no one would leave home
unless home chased you to the shore
unless home told you
to quicken your legs
leave your clothes behind
crawl through the desert
wade through the oceans

drown
save
be hungry
beg
forget pride
your survival is more important
no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear
saying-leave,
run away from me now
i don't know what i've become
but i know that anywhere
is safer than here
I am proudly posting this poem because of the fascistic views being prominently displayed as legitiment views in american and european media and society... for inhumanity and barbarity there is NO equal in the world than what the US has done in it's entire history down to a few seconds ago... Warsan Shire's story is just one of literally millions and millions... but posting a poem is not enough, it is up to all of us to stop these wars of aggression waged by our own government
 Dec 2015
Carson Stephani
It’s only when you’re alone do you find that all you have, is yourself.
It’s when you find yourself standing in a room filled with people that you realize, you’re alone all the same.
Who will be there when you need someone the most?
What hero is waiting in the shadows to save you?
Is there really a hand to help you up when you fall down?
How can you still go on with life when you realize that we’re all racing towards the end.
It doesn't matter how the story of your life is filled with adventure, excitement, joy and love.
Where will those things be in a year?
In ten years?
In twenty years?
In thirty years?
Forty, fifty, sixty, seventy years?
You may dream of being on a beach with the sun shining down on you with a cool drink in one had and the hand of your loved one in the other.
But I know where you’ll going to be.
Dead.
In the ground.
And with what to show for it?
Only a story of work, disappointment, embarrassment and regret.
What is life if all we’re looking for is the next high, the next thrill and the next thing to keep us busy?
For in the end I know where we’ll all be.
Dead.
And in the end you’ll find that all you have, is yourself.
Stand in a room filled with every one you love and care for.
Stand with all the people that you would lay down your life for.
Stand with all the people that you love with all your heart.
For you see, I understand what love is and what becomes of it one day.
Dead.
In a box.
In the ground.
Rotting.
Like all the other dead that came before.
The most fragile of things in this world are the most beloved.
A new born child.
A flower of spring.
The gentle notes of a musician.  
But every child loses their innocence, grows up, sees the world, and dies.
The flower grows into its beauty then dies.
And every song ends.
No thing can live forever.
Only death is eternal.
Sorry this got really depressing.  Not going to lie this is what I've been thinking about recently so I wrote it down.
 Dec 2015
arham
how to not be selfish
how to love
how to walk away
how to stay gone
how to not care
how to not cry
how to live
how to breathe
how to die
how to stay dead
how to try harder
how to stop trying
how to get lost
how to be found
how to not feel alone
how to accept love
how to identify love
how to not die
how to not want to die
how to breathe
how to breathe
how to breathe
 Dec 2015
Tear Drop
Depression is like that friend
who knocks on your door
when the party has already
Finished.
 Dec 2015
T Cup
this world, this life
our only known, guaranteed shot at consciousness
should be spent by everyone,
extravagantly

and it deeply hurts me
like ten thousand knives into my optimism
that people are still waking up every day
wishing they could die.

i can't think of many things sadder than that.
 Dec 2015
Aeerdna
i am never alone
there are nightmares walking beside me every second of my life,
demons procreating in my head,
a freak show of feelings disguised like those clowns that terrify me,
my mind is the stage for a barbarian, ****** show,
i am an open field full of bombs that explode with every step I take breaking me
into little dark pieces of something that used to be warm and bright,
i mourn for my soul and I never remember how to laugh anymore,
i have this internal bleeding and there is neither cure nor doctor for it to treat it
i can feel how I am losing pieces of myself while running or walking or just breathing,
i can see the cage I’ve thrown myself in
i feel the sun burning my soul and I cannot stop it, I cannot cover it I can’t
run from it anymore because my legs are broken
i cry every day until I dissolve in my own sour tears
i don’t know how to cry for help anymore, I am tongue-tied
i am scared of breathing and scared of not breathing
i am never alone
they make me dance to their music until my legs give up and I fall, I crawl
into the darkness trying to hide but there’s no hiding from them
i know the only refuge
is in Death.
 Dec 2015
Mysterious Aries
I did run at the holy land
Simply a place of no fun
So I'm back here again, to be heated by the sun
3 line poem
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