Smoking brush strokes of painted crowds,
overlooking a landscape's higher regime,
spider silk webs inhaled by lungs of teens,
coughing cotton cumulus clouds.

You're so much cooler, yet softer,
green apple e-liquids versus melancholy,
my antique lighter, your boutigue battery,
kills just the same, don't take after your father.

Every day
For the last three years
I wake up
And I hate myself

Maybe it’s been five years
Maybe eight
Surely I’ve lost count

Rare are the mornings
My aching muscles breathe a sigh
The sun drips through the window
Drenching me in warmth and life

Such euphoria is fleeting
It comes and goes
In two-week intervals
And I’m forced to watch it fly
To others’ faces
Where it rests much longer

There must be a balance
Dangling in the ether
Desperately waiting
To be discovered

But when dawn breaks
And my hand searches the sheets
It is hate that I find
Once more

You told me somewhere out there
Is my other half
Even though you were the one I loved
Yeah you lied, left me in despair
Now my heart is beyond repair
Not a day goes by I don’t think about how
I should have made more moves with you
Regretting all these things,
that is what I’m used to
All I wanted was for you to be mine
But that’s not what life had in mind

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

I’m sick and sore
Bodies aching
Suppressed my cravings
Every time I gazed upon you
You were ****** desire
Deep within the flames burn higher
Extinguished my lust
With your words
Left me feeling broken and hurt
Rejection left me depressed
And I couldn’t find a vibe
To breathe in new life
My wires were cut
Left for dead
A rusting tin man

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

All I wanted was to find a future with us
It seems you had other ideas and gave up
All I got left was a box of empty promises
A whole lot of lessons
I wish I didn’t have to learn
I’m laying in the dark
Images play upon the roof
In all the ways that I remember you
The taste of your kiss
The feel of your lips
Tracing the lines in your hands
Playing with every strand of your hair
Every touch placed upon your body
I remember every breath you took
I remember all the ways
You left me shook

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

©2018 Written By Benji James

hello, old friend,
it's been a while.
i forgot what it was like
to see you smile.
like the Heavens opened up
and stardust rained down,
my luck of finding you...
i don't know how.
you grab my waist and pull me in,
your lips touch mine
through the obsidian wind.
hello, old friend,
i've missed you some,
your eyes help melt away
some of the numb.
which is funny, i know,
since they're glaciers themselves.
but they've melted my heart
since the time we were twelve.
but, old friend,
not much has changed? every strike of the clock
you take my breath away...
the key to my lock.
a feat not easy,
when my aura is as dark as it is.
i long for the day
i will again taste your lips.
hello, old friend,
it's been a while.
thanks for reminding me
what it's like to smile.