Because of my darkness I shine.
Because of my scars I am beautiful.

I restarted my medication recently because I hit the worst depression episode of my life. It got so bad that I had planned out, with cold, hard rationale, how I was going to **** myself.

The medication is helping somewhat. But it's also making me feel numb. I don't feel positive emotions anymore, if I feel anything it's the depression. I feel like an empty husk floating through life.

I don't want to live like this, I don't want to take the medication if this is how it's going to make me feel. However, I can't fight this alone. I don't know what to do.

Wish I could disappear
Been in the worst major depressive episode of my life this past month. I am triggered easily and I have so much anger and frustration and sadness I don’t know where to channel it all. I’ve lost 15 pounds according to my scale. Wondering if maybe I’ll just eventually shrivel up to nothing and disappear. What a relief it would be. #Depression #Suicide

My depression get the best of me
Long nights I don’t rest or sleep
Jaw tight as I compress my teeth
Digest the devil pressin me
Repress the stress that rest in me
Death don’t ever pester me
Life brings on all the pressure see
I can’t even measure the little pleasures
why can’t I just Rest In Peace
I strive to never take my life
Hear voices from a gun and knife
Fake light for when my dark nights strike
But **** the light, give me a ladder
I’d rather fight and climb back to the surface
Search through all my pain for purpose
Learn to deal with the hurt and worthless
Help others in similar circumstances
Gives them chances in advance
To never glance on suicidal’s dance
#f ;ghter