He scoops sands in baskets

then balancing neatly on the shoulder
carries to where needed
through bone breaking hours.

Upon his footprints is there a name
or a home
where he goes back for the night
lands featherlight kiss on a woman
awakes her sleepy bones with her hands
forgetting his days sinking in the sands.

I am lost in the forest
        Of your hair,
You sleep as the dream awakens,
        Darkness turns to light

The sun dawns over you,
               Over me,
   The day gives birth to us.

I want only
            never need
tomorrow
            the great unknown
I want to be the change
             I want to see in the world
I want to be
             the end
Singularity
              through my words
when all the
               difference
                                 becomes one
                                                      at long last
I want to be love

I felt the sudden change in the air
As icy breath clung I was made aware
Outside my window the shadows fell
But it was too early for night to tell
Still it was cold and dark I know
Then came that knock upon the door
"Thomas , whom I come looking for
Won't you open up for evermore ?"

I shook with fear , for all the years
Suddenly I was filled with tears
I had always made my covered bed
And in absolution I held my head
Still you have no earthy clue
When comes that knock upon the wood
"Thomas , oh Thomas ,  if you would
Unbolt the lock now if you could."

I stood in silence , made not a sound
But by the shadow upon the ground
I knew he waited so patiently
Waiting ! Waiting , there for me
"Come Thomas , the seconds few
You cannot avoid what's in store for you
Do not bother looking for the key
For I have kept it safely here with me ."

I said I was not afraid of Death
That I would not bend in my final breath
Then I remembered my father's passing
How the stillness became so everlasting
And I knew I was no more special
That life is certainly full and spacial
So I opened up the door
"I am Thomas , the Thomas of whom you do implore ."

We cannot take
a good, hard look
at ourselves
without help;
our own perception
a fun-house mirror,
twisting our foibles
into grotesques.
We become too big,
thinking we loom large
in the lives of others
who could not care less,
or we shrink into nothing,
disappearing from those
who miss us dearly.
Judge, jury and executioner,
we condemn ourselves
as not worthy of the air we breathe.
We cannot take
a good, hard look
at ourselves.
The look is rarely good,
and often far,
far too hard.

By: Cedric McClester

It’s hard as hell
To commit suicide
I know it for a fact
Lord knows I tried
My wife left me
And my dog died
I loved that dog
It can’t be denied

I took a dull knife
To cut my wrist
Instead of straight up and down
I did it like this
Put the gun to my head
And pulled the trigger
But it wouldn’t go off
Now you go figure

Capsized my boat
But I didn’t drown
How was I to know
The Coast Guard was around
I tied a noose
Around my neck
But the hanging rope broke
And I hit the deck

I took a dull knife
To cut my wrist
Instead of straight up and down
I did it like this
Put the gun to my head
And pulled the trigger
But it wouldn’t go off
Now you go figure

(Bridge)
It’s hard as hell
To commit suicide
I know it for a fact
Lord knows I tried

At my lowest point
When I didn’t give a ****
It occurred to me
I might be killing the wrong man
So I put aside
All my suicidal thoughts
And untied myself
From the conjurer’s knots

I took a dull knife
And tried to cut my wrist
Instead of straight up and down
I did it like this
Put the gun to my head
And pulled the trigger
But it wouldn’t go off
Now you go figure

I must be meant
To live a long life
I survived my dog
And my missing wife
Yes there are days
Full of stress and strife
But I’ve accepted the blues
As my way of life





Cedric McClester, Copyright (c) 2016.  All rights reserved.