i'm the nicest
person you'll
ever meet until
you **** with me
or the people i love.

in my heart
there is pain that knowone feels
in my heart
know one knows

I can cling to a golden thread of desperation if you put it within my reach
I can wrap it around my fingers and toes
I hope to cut off circulation until every breath of mine is a beautiful violet
I can twirl on the tips of my toes until the world around me turns faster and I am standing still
I'm not in wonderland
My teeth are made of glass but no matter how hard I clench my jaw, they refuse to break
My eyes are growing blades of grass within them but my ******* lawn mower won't start
Why do I always expect to be cared about?
Why are you always the martyr?
Why is it my job to take care of you when I still have to learn how to take care of myself?
Why can't you let branches grow from yourself and be your own **** person?
You follow in my footsteps like you are afraid of making your own imprint on this earth
Dig your feet into the ground and stomp
Create earthquakes with the impact
Shake down every brick building that was built up to block the sun from reaching your eyes
I was not put on this earth to be your protector
Your protector is within the thread of the leash you tied around my neck
I'm choking on air and you pluck it out of my mouth and swallow it whole and still complain of not being able to breath
Stop walking behind me and start running beside me
Gold is only found where you look and so far, you pretend to be blind
Stick legs don't bend but they break pretty **** easily
The flowers sprouting out of my ears are wilting
Recycled ideas should not fill your head
Your own ideas should
The thread tied around my wrists is yellow and black
I can't find the strength to snap it
I'll spend my empty days unraveling it, only getting it tangled up again

The premature blackout
Covers the affluent socialites
The abysmal hate and animosity within the commoners
The untouched young and their purity
Forevermore
But in darkness we're all equal, we're all equally blind
Money means nothing
Appearance is invalid
The words you speak are what make you precious
And it wasn't until the now this truth came to surface

The ones behind the guns hide behind a barrel loaded with flimsy intimidation
The ones standing on the edge of reason are just kids who never got enough attention
Tricked into living a life that leads them to a destination that was not meant to be their own destiny
And that living proof is about to die

Grief and shame come undone
You place the blame on the one who is the cause
You're ashamed but won't shed a tear
Because you live with the fear of letting things out
But now your filled with doubt
All because you bottle up everything

Breathe

It all looks like win or lose
Too many may look like too few
Some have mercy, some strike true
Some leave their enemies to stew
Paralyzed until their lives are through
Some just strive to make peace with themselves

Jaded outbursts are first to fall
And cause arrogant to sprawl
Across the globe, desecrate it all
Decorate it wall to wall
Demonstrate their gutless gall
To dehumanize the masses
And denounce the value of life and faith

You have a choice between eternal damnation
Or a consecrated salvation
But through spiritual education
You gain a certain inclination
To obtain information
And build your own road with out regard to heaven light or hell fire

Decide

Commercials fill your head with ****
Say they can sell you charm and wit
Hand you all your desired possessions
Stare at the screens you drool and sit
With your scratch and sniff ticket hoping to win
As experience and opportunity leave without saying goodbye

You calm your soul, it's immortal
There is no foe to great or tall
Your'e all you need you have it all
But then another soul causes you to fall
To your knees in worship and you crawl
This is love, the desire to put two and two together and somehow make one

But then you ask "who am I?
You glare at the ground and stare at the sky
You ask what, where, when, how and why
Sort the truth from the lies
And figure out it's not something that defines but something that you defy
Because it isn't what you do it's who you are that really matters

Relax

Look at those with narrow minds
Who obey all the misleading signs
Who blindly sign their names on the dotted line
Thinking they'll be safe and it will all be fine
If they just stay in line for a life time
And never question a single thing except why they never got where
they wanted to be

Some will stick up their nose
Toward anyone who does oppose
Their beliefs or doesn't wear designer clothes
Because to them they are those
Kind of people the Lord hasn't chose
But then they'll go to church on Sunday and pray for eternal life then go out and treat people like they're below them

Then there are people who have nothing
Stuffed with gin and ***** stuffing
Victims of others bluffing
Sit on the streets puffing and huffing
But I feel like they know something
What it means to have no where else to but up because they're already at rock bottom

Be

The new born babies have not a clue
The kids only know what they want to do
The teenagers hormones brew
The young adult's forget everything they thought they knew
And the old are in shock that they've made it through
Hopefully in the end we'll all get what we came for

People these days are afraid to be wrong
Scared to admit they're not that strong
Searching for a place to belong
Sing the song of contradiction
Because only a fool doesn't change their opinion when new information is given

My soul, my mind, my body and heart
Feel the evil finger pick apart
The lives of the faithful and their art
Tossing heat-seeking darts
At those begging for a fresh start
I cannot take it, no one dares ask to see both sides of the story

Imagine

What I was
A lost soul in a crowd,
Scars covering my wrists.
What I am
A failure - never proud,
With pent up anger in my fists.
What I want to be
To be heard - clear and loud,
I'm made of stardust, meant to move mountains, not simply exist.

It's not my fault.
I've been hated and betrayed.
Judged and stabbed.
I'm not good with feelings.
With tears and blood - the price I've paid.
But you already knew that.
You said it anyways.
It wasn't based on facts.
It was just a thought.
Your apology was a million I love you's, as if reassuring yourself.
This isn't going to break us, this too shall pass.
But this is pretty big, even if it's the first time we've fought.
Your trust is broken, it lies shattered on the floor.
But you blame yourself, making sure I don't destroy myself.
You're putting a bandaid on a fractured heart,
In order to mend us, it is hurting me more.
But I already know this.
I let you do it anyways.

Overcautious.
I am a vault, and you are the new lock keeper.

2. Overwhelmed.
You had me at first sight, your beauty and you charm.

3. Overjoyed.
You made me so ecstatic, you cannot possibly do any harm.

4. Oversight.
You failed to notice, I am flesh and blood, constructed of flaws.

5. Overgrown.
My love for you, and all the little things you do.

6. Overbearing.
I discovered this new side, you had buried it deep inside you.

7. Overused.
But ofcourse, those treacherous three words, the hollow I love you's.

8. Overstep.
The boundaries and limits, have been crossed way back.

9. Overprotective.
My walls are back up, and you have been pushed with the broken fragments of my past, way up above the rack.

10.
Oh this one came so slowly, after five painful months of ***** and three AM phone calls, to spill poetry that I would never show you, but it finally did come, leaving me so happy, when I finally got, Over you.

You knelt down, defeated with the black rose in your hand.
Your eyes surprised you with tears - her memories were a blur.
You pluck the petals - one at a time,
All the while muttering "She doesn't love me, but I do, more than he loves her "