I feel that if our relationship were w video game
We had reached a check point.
And continued to strive further
But then yesterday killed you for a moment and set you back to the last saved point.

my bed haunts me
not because you're not in it
but because it brings back the memories of when you were...
your hand gently over mine as We held each other
your chest pressed against my back as We moulded as One
your feet entwined with mine as We grew closer
and eventually,
your lips against mine as We reinforced the Shared words
**i love you

Attention
Affection

These are the things She strives for

Perfection to get attention to gain affection

But what is perfection?
She starves so She can be skinny, even when She's told She has a **** body
She cuts to punish Herself for eating, yet sees Her scars as imperfections
She puts on make up so She can be pretty, even though She is told She is beautiful
She straightens Her hair to look perfect, even though She is told She looks pretty anyway.

When will She be perfect?

She dresses up,
dumbes it down,
changes Herself
but is let down.

When will She be perfect?

She tries to capture the attention of men and and gain their affection,
But shys away from affection, emotion and the human touch.

When will She be perfect?*

Maybe She will be perfect when she changes Her definition of 'perfection'

wrap me in Your dark embrace
pull me close
kiss my neck
my wrists
my scars.

make me fall for You
when i've got the noose around my neck.

people are scared of you
but i don't fear you any more
our late night meetings have got me aquatinted with you
You're always there for me
even in my shadows absence

You overwhelm me
take my breath away
make my hear skip a beat
or stop beating all together

We have a date
and i'm counting down the days until i finally meet you
all the teasing
taunting
half meeting
i will be with You
we will be one.

take me away with You
forever
my love
let us live in our kingdom

The empty space on my bed where you should be is occupied only by the thought of you

The empty curve of my waist where your arm should be resting is filled only by the desire for it to be there

The empty space between my fingers where yours should be entwined with mine is occupied only by the thought of it happening

The empty feeling of my lips without the company of yours is filled with the impossible wish

the most ancient reason there is.

we do things in order to gain approval
or avoid judgement.

we will wear masks to hide our faces, thoughts, and personalities, to shield that which we think will be judged, in order to gain acceptance.

we will do things, say things, and even be things to gain approval, even if we disapprove of it.  

we are the fake at generation, ruled by fear and raised to be rebels.

my mask is a ***** who over estimates herself and doesn't care about others and never gets scared.
But how long can one stay in character, before they become the character...
and aren't they one in the same...

the best lies are based on the most truth.
therefore the masks we wear and the facades we create that earn us the approval and exile us from judgement, are the most believeable lies, which shows that the character, scriptwriter and actor are all the same.


so just how fake are we...?

I feel so abandoned and alone
I'm losing my heart, I'm losing my home.

I feel so abandoned in the dark.
I feel like an old swing set in a park.

My purpose is to raise others from the ground,
Lift them up and swing them 'round.
.
I'm there for their entertainment and fun,
Until they run of with the sun.

Then I am so abandoned in the park.