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320 · Jul 7
Fix me
Chrys Jul 7
People look to me to solve their problems
Fix their lives, make everything okay
But what if I myself am a puzzle
An unsolvable equation
Then who gets to fix me?
182 · Jun 6
Old Songs
Chrys Jun 6
I listen to old songs
Old songs I used to enjoy
Old songs whose melody
I sing with lyrics from memory

I listen to old songs
Old songs I no longer enjoy
Because they're songs I listened to
When I was me before you

I listen to old songs
Old songs whose taste has soured
Because they're songs I heard
I’ve cried
     I’ve cried to

And yet they’re songs that saved me
Songs that kept me company
Because they’re songs I lived
I’ve felt
     I’ve felt sad to

I listen to old songs
Old songs whose taste has sweetened
Old songs while I'm yearning and waiting
For what you are now to me, darling

So now I listen to these old songs
Old songs I'll again enjoy
Because it reminds me of how I prayed for you
And how I'm lucky I no longer need to

I listen to these old songs
Old songs as I’m me with you
121 · Jun 6
dementia and truth
Chrys Jun 6
Daddy I got three stars today, said the little one. I was the best in our class; it's true. But the father paid no attention. He didn't make a move. He just laid still as his daughter left the room.

Daddy I made new friends today, said the little one. And the other kids were very kind to me; it's true. But the father made no remark. He didn't even give a nod. He just laid still as his daughter leaves the room.

Daddy I won in a writing competition, said the little one. They even gave me a blue ribbon for my poem; it's true. But the father showed no smile. He didn't even look. He just laid still as his daughter was about to leave the room.

Little one, what are you doing here, asked the graveyard man. I was just talking to my father, sir; it's true. But your father is long gone, little one; he died a year ago. He's lying still inside his coffin — in this crypt, in this room.

I know, sir, said the little one. Pain creeping upon her face, so true. She said, to tell you frankly, I didn't get a three star either; I did so poorly on all my classes. I have no friends because I’m an orphan. My poem didn't win first prize. None of it were true.

But please see, please understand sir, begged the little one. With pain so bluntly piercing. The sorrow, scorchingly cold. Her sweet voice a contrast to the bitterness of her words, she goes:

When life is too much to bear, reality too blinding too face, and love too far away to follow, truth is what you make of it. Truth is what you wish it to be.
10 · 6d
Why do we write?
Chrys 6d
It is in writing these words that we keep from falling apart
And maybe by imagining what good fortune the world has to offer
We convince ourselves we can make then real
0 · 6d
Coward
Chrys 6d
But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so pale and defenseless that I couldn’t do it. What I wanted to **** wasn’t on that innocent skin or in that terrified pulse fighting against my blade. What I wanted to **** was somewhere else deeper, somewhere else quieter, and somewhere impossible to reach.
0 · 6d
Paper girl
Chrys 6d
I looked down and thought about how I was made of paper
About how I fold and bend to the will of my maker
About how easy it is for me to be thrown away
About how I will burn and perish someday
Chrys 6d
Those eyes that have always shone with glee
Those lips I have prayed could utter its love to me
Those arms which smell of safety and home
Those hands which tell me I’m not alone
Chrys 6d
I tell them fake stories based on my real emotions
I reach out but my mind and body are frozen
So instead I become who people want me to be
Coz all I ever wanted was for someone to hold me
0 · 6d
Always her
Chrys 6d
Her smile brings his dark skies sunshine
Her eyes pull the tides back to the shoreline
Like the sea to the moon, he kept gravitating
He thinks of her her not me but her

He smiles that secret smile and I know he’s smitten
Blame it on the love bug, he said; he’s been bitten
Would’ve been a fairy tale happy ending
If I was her her can I be her

Her warm embrace thaws his stone cold heart
I’d know, coz he and I are same from the start
As I stay trapped in our past, she changed him for the better
She’s his salvation, and he loves her her her

I hoped and prayed that I be worthy
Of his mind and heart, not his folly
But a garden **** like me can never make him happy
If I was him, I won’t look at another

I’d choose her her always her

— The End —