You plucked the banjo strings of my heart in a tune that sounded like home
And as hard as I try
I cannot find the sheet music
A minor, but you are the master
And I am tone deaf to any key but you

Problem is, I forgot the words part way through so
I stopped singing along

Write it down

Tear it up and

Teach me to feel again

I can’t hear you any longer

But
Don’t stop, I need the vibrations ricocheting off my eardrums to continue on the way I have been

Help me out here
Lets take lessons
Start over and rewrite our song

I am a bomb

timed to detonate at the slightest movement

I have spent an innumerable amount of time listening to you about him and you and you and you

So tell me one more time that I am selfish when I ask you to listen to the diagnosis

I will not ask again

I will not listen again either

I will walk to the tropic of cancer to relieve the pressure of your ego upon my shoulders

I will walk this path alone, on no schedule but my own

I will walk this path alone

In your mind, you walk into the same trap, you never seem to escape from.

Chasing the things you wish for yourself, and they never seem to come.

You turn around and settle for mediocre things that do,

All the while, letting resentment and bitterness grow inside of you.

You envy those that seem to live without pain or care,

And you watch them as they stick their noses up at the sight of your stare.

You walk through life believing that for you, there's not a purpose,

Never listening to the people who say it's not true.

But you're so ignorant, in believing that all your worth is on the surface,

Even though, what's on the inside is what holds all your value.

After years of discontentment, you finally look within, and in your mind set free,

Realizing that acceptance of self was, in fact, the key to becoming the person you always wished to be.

I Don't belong here.
In this castle built with lies
stranded at the tallest tower
with nowhere to run
and everywhere to hide

I don't belong here
in this house of plaited gold
looking grand and innocent
the mocking oxymoron, masking
the nightmare that lay behind

I don't belong here
in this forced dream of fancy
in this perfect american family
that choked me into a whisper
complete with silent feet
and empty words

I don't belong here
stuck behind a wooden door
I closed myself
locked from the outside
with bolts of judgement
that my cowardice
won’t allow me to break

I don't belong here

So I lean my back against the gold,
and the stone and the wood
shut my eyes as tight as I could
and fought the instinct of flight
then I wished and wished with all my might
to live in the rose colored cliche
and wake to a golden carriage
with a price knocking at my door
ready to whisk me away
because I don't belong here
I’ve never belonged here
standing in plaited gold.

If I a wayward traveler
were to rest my weary bones,
I fear I’d quickly find my name
in a garden full of stones.

So I continue trudging onward,
without regard for my direction.
Eyes forever pointed downward
by the fear of my detection.

Carrying the bags of follow travelers
despite their ever growing weight.
My steps harried ever onward
by the fear I might be late.

I can’t see my destination
but I have faith to keep me strong.
I can’t let my pace be slowed
by the fear that I am wrong.

I can’t say I quite recall
even the way this journey started
but I must have held some purpose
on that day I first departed.

So I continue trudging onward
without regard for my confusion.
This journey is about so much more
than my self-involved delusions.

If I a wayward traveler
were to rest my weary bones,
I fear I’d quickly find my name
in a garden full of stones.