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321 · Mar 2014
Funeral in my heart
When those words left your lips
It was as though every bad moment
in my life had been multiplied
A numbness took over my entire body
and I couldn't feel you anymore
Your eyes once so full of hope and
desire
No longer will I feel your sweet hands
wrapped around my waist
Dreams of you and I died right before
my eyes
And I could feel myself breaking
as the words left your lips
A deep sadness filled me
Like the dirt piled into
a freshly packed grave
And the waves of hopelessness
overwhelmed me
Those little thoughts of you and I
danced around in my head
I looked at you with sad eyes
but words evaded me
Like little soldiers on the
battlefield evading an attack
Your eyes, your lips, and your words
Spoke three different languages
and for once in my life
you were more confused
than I have ever been
© 2014 Christina Jackson
317 · Mar 2014
Imprints
Your lips leave an impression on my soul
I am always sad when they have to go


© 2014 Christina Jackson
315 · Feb 2014
First 10w
May your arms become sails
Protecting me from floating
away...
© 2014 Christina Jackson
314 · Feb 2014
Title (optional)
I can't put this any other way, other than the thoughts I've been having as of late.
You are so far away, like a disconnected cord that once connected us through fate.
We exceeded the laws of time and space
Knew of no other worlds, except the world we lived in when we were free
to be ourselves
No hiding behind the masks, or lying about our pasts
Please don't forget what we had
© 2014 Christina Jackson
314 · Feb 2021
A new calm
It was subtle, but he touched my soul in a way that no other could.  He calmed my inner dialogue and put my fears to rest.
The monsters aren't as scary when you have someone else slay them with you and comfort you in the darkness.
And in this new calm state, still, I stirred and grabbed deep down, a fire in me I long forgot about
You've lent me a pair of glasses which showed all the beautiful parts of me I couldn't see
Most important of all, you never judged me, not once, for just being me
©2021 Christina Jackson
We speak in revisions
and ever flowing renditions
We laugh, in sonnets and haiku
We speak from our hearts
and often times, become removed
Lost in a poetic world of rhymes,
and lines. Scattered across
many, a many lifetime
We write, we write, we write
because we know, words
are always on our side
I could give you more
explanation, but I'm just
living a poets life.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
306 · Feb 2013
Sky-fall
Clouds are lost souls, searching for their place.
They pass over all the land's and all the sea's,
but they have yet to find their missing piece.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Just laying outside on my back patio right now looking up at the full moon, I wrote another short one as well as this one, but not sure if I'd like to post it.
304 · Mar 2014
The Haunting
I saw a ghost the other day
His eyes hollow, haunting me
from afar
The years spent picking up
every broken piece of my heart
Every scar, inside and out
is only bandaged over
not repaired
I'm afraid the ghost of you
will never disappear
My shoulders do not have room
for one more
© 2014 Christina Jackson
303 · Feb 2013
Today
As I sit, wind blowing through my hair.
Staring out the window, wishing you were here.
So beautiful; the sun stares.
So lovely; the wind blows.
So endless; the rivers flow.
Staring out the window, wishing you were here.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
I've been writing lot's of short simple poems lately, I haven't the time for long ones right now!
303 · Dec 2013
Lovely
It was not in the way he spoke his words that made her fall in love with him
It was the way in which he directed those precious words at her and only her,
that made her heart melt through the floor and fall for him more and more.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
299 · Jul 2019
Shadow people
And there was nothing but blackness
as far as the eye could see
She was spinning tops in her head
swatting the demons away like fleas

Unbeknownst to her, disease was setting in
Spreading like wildfire, she screamed
As they welcomed themselves in
No invitation was needed, for she had conceded

The darkness was swallowing her once again

Her yearly ritual, the grin of a ghastly figure stood over her whistling the familiar tune
She knew it was time to shut her eyes, so swallowing her pride;
Two sarcastic pills appeared in her hand, this time she couldn't disguise the screams.

Choking and convulsing
Sweating and foaming

She awoke the next morning, the whites of her eyes-
Nearly plum wine as if the vines had drawn little lies to remind her of last night.

She wouldn't let them win-
with a wink and a drink she drew the curtains of dread
Light flooded toward her
In the blink of an eye she drew a big smile
and the sun warmed her icy veins
Basking in her new found perspective

She wouldn't let the demons win.
© 2019 Christina Jackson
296 · Jul 2013
Matters concerning the..
The light of the day
shines through the night,
unto morning
The light always shines
through the black of night
The soul seeps into the eyes,
and finds the answers
waiting in hearts disguise
© 2013 Christina Jackson
296 · Sep 2013
Fire within
You set my heart ablaze
like the rise of my eyes
gazing into the setting sun..
© 2013 Christina Jackson
295 · Oct 2020
The long sleep
I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

We were giants once
Do you remember?
The days we basked in
the sunlight
On the rocks, where the waves
crashed down upon us
Skin warmed and kissed
by the dying rays

I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

When we became shrunken
like the voodoo heads
That hang in car windows
Do you remember?
You smiled back at me
Crookedly, lovingly

Your tender heart could
not bear the darkness
As I have welcomed it in
Easily, like an old friend

And I'd rip these trees
Root and stem
Beg on bent knee
For you, back again

And where will I stand?
When the earth opens up
and swallows me whole
Like the hole in my heart

Back in the place I left you
is where you'll find me
Down on bent knee

Earth rumbling with anger

I'll never be free
©2020 Christina Jackson
295 · May 2014
Short lived
I knew all along-
Forever with you
wouldn't last long.

The tides moved
steadily strong

Pushing me away-
until you were gone.
2014 Christina Jackson
293 · Mar 2016
True Love
I'm going to eat
so many chips
and cookies

THE END.

© 2016 Christina Jackson
290 · Jun 2014
Up up and away
It was by night I pondered the day
In between the hours of wake and sleep
My mind wandered far, far and away…
© 2014 Christina Jackson
289 · Mar 2014
Walk with me wanderer
There is a ghost that follows me where I walk and wander. The ghost has a name and I should like to call it "The Wanderer". It follows me like my shadow follows my soul. Wherever I go, it goes. A loyal ghost at that, and one could assume that it must be a professional at haunting. For it has been with me so long as I could remember, it doesn't falter nor fade away. You would think the abyss might swallow it whole after so many years of stumbling through many a puddle and ghastly broken and tattered roads. It does not leave my side, it's occupation I consider to be the ghost that fills the empty side of my life. Never leaving me alone in the dark, but staying with me when the dark is too much and all the stars I have wished upon pleading "stop wishing for a better life". And so, often do I ponder upon the thought that if my ghost would ever leave me rusted and scented of must. I can personally detest that so far it has not. My ghost "The Wanderer" doesn't have the guts nor gall to leave me broken, trembling in the dusty valves of my heart nor let me wither when you and I part hearts.  
© 2014 Christina Jackson
289 · Mar 2013
It's alright
"It's like you reached your hand right into my heart, and plucked those very words from my soul.....I know, I know, it's okay, you don't have to say, cause' I know, I know.."
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Just something that came to mind when I was trying to get some homework done....
288 · Mar 2014
Justified burn of the heart
"Your soul moves through me like fire, burning everything, slowly, but not all at once. Ever so slowly do you set me ablaze, and I will happily be set on fire. If it is you and only you, that sparks the match inside of my heart." © 2014 Christina Jackson
285 · Nov 2013
Wondering & waiting
Forever engulfed in your sweet mystery

Then forever I shall be...

© 2013 Christina Jackson
284 · Apr 2014
-Just let go-
Letting go-

A sign of
universal flow

Letting go-

A necessary requirement
if you wish to grow
2014 Christina Jackson
277 · Feb 2014
The reoccuring nightmare
You stood there starring at me, with those cold dead eyes
and you wouldn't let me leave. I begged and begged.
They called and called for me, but I couldn't answer
My voice was muffled, trailing off into the distance
The wet dirt felt like home to me, I curled up in a ball
wept and wept, but you wouldn't let go of me
You shut me out of my paradise. Years and years
passed, but you would let me in. Was it too much
to ask? That all I wanted, was my life back.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
275 · Mar 2013
Live
You should be afraid of your dreams
don't let them wither and rot away.
Don't forget about them,
after fifty years are done and gone
it's never too late; and though this battle may never be won.
Just live, live, laugh and have some fun!
© 2013 Christina Jackson
268 · Mar 2014
~The heart and the wall~
And she loved him-
With all that she was and
all that she ever could be.

And in one fell swoop-
He shattered her heart
into a million tiny shards
© 2014 Christina Jackson
267 · Nov 2020
Open windows & closed doors
I wrote this down for you
so I would remember
all the best parts we shared
the kiss within the kiss
that sweet moment
before our lips touch
a faint memory
little ghosts  dancing on
the surface of my lips
where you once belonged
I wanted to write you something
beautiful so that you would remember
that it wasn't just an illusionary concept
I conjured up in my mind
And I don't want to feel anymore
because living isn't living without you
and these headaches from the tears I've cried
are starting to deplete my energy slowly
I hate it; I hate it so much
and I can't feel you next to me anymore
curled up in your arms
I stare at the bed, and it's not the same
Can anyone hear me scream?
How can this much pain be so silent
And I wipe away the tears from my eyes
little droplets of salty memories disappear
The heat rising in my chest up and down my neck
from holding my breath
And the release isn't enough
nothing is ever enough
because living isn't living without you
and I thought I was fine, but I don't
sleep the same anymore, and my heart
aches when I hear your voice
my knees still get weak
I feel everything and nothing all at the same time
And I thought I was so sure
I didn't have to spend time looking for someone
anymore
I thought you were it  and so I stopped trying to find
something I already had
I know why you did what you did
but ****** if  I'm not still angry with myself
even though you told me I was enough
somehow I don't believe one bit of it
In the end, I was just another distraction
from your wounded, barely healed heart
I feel so used, but I can't fault you for hurting
and I can't be angry with you for the decisions you made
in the end, you did what you did for yourself
I wish these tears would somehow erase these
new marks I've acquired on my fragile heart
but they just dry up and start again
If only I drowned in them
maybe I wouldn't have to deal with this pain
and the realization that you were never mine
but I'll always be a little bit yours
©2020 Christina Jackson
The spring that wouldn’t end

We locked ourselves in
Sunlight became
Fluorescent bulbs and
candlelight for some

And we couldn’t breathe
airways became sirens
and the world fell silent

Out of the storm
We have united-
A shift in consciousness

It was the spring
that wouldn’t end

We thought we were
Invincible
But found out how
dispensable we had become

And becoming became a
part of our daily ritual
and our guns became
masks and bleach

We thought we were safe

The lies spilled out
over the news station
radio waves

Official orders became
streetlights
As if we were all grounded
for staying out after dark

We weren’t smart
playing dead was
no longer a game
Sunday morning cartoons
became one thousand people dead
and all before 8 a.m!

We the people disobeyed
the chief in command
A murderer
The 1% will never understand

Nurses and doctors
suddenly became war
heroes
We cheered them on and
though they tried
Thousands started dropping
like flies

They called it mismanagement
I call it a crime

The spring that wouldn’t end
bleeds into summer
and the traffic lights are
blinking warning signs

We are moving too fast
it will never end

And the tyrants started
to look like giants
We’ve drawn back
the curtain
between love and hate

Division of lives
we conquered divided lines
and we drew lines in the sand
S.O.S
Screaming at the top
of our lungs

Lungs that have grown
vulnerable, to an invisible enemy

Picking its victims at random
And our answers to
questions unanswered
lie at the bottom of Petri dishes

And our kitchen cabinets
became locked targets

People hoarded the markets
of supplies, ripped out
root and stem
We bought all the wrong things
and we’re surprised when
it didn’t keep us safe

And those megaphones
turned into noise
canceling headphones

Your words don’t matter

But hey, take solace in
knowing we still have each other

Hugs turned into construction
barricades

Don’t stand so close to me
When coughs and holding
hands became the most
dangerous weapons to wield

So we used soap as shields
Kept each other in our
“thoughts and prayers”

Still believing something
invisible could cure us
When the very thing was
killing us

They called you a martyr
for leaving your home
in plain clothes

Menacing eyes follow you,
remember
Stay six feet apart
Because “droplets won’t spread
that far” -we promise!

And to the man who
led the command
you didn’t keep us safe
Your words became
bioweapons
terrorizing the land

And it didn’t matter
if you turned off the t.v
you were still there
spreading lies
spewing hateful
rhetoric

And the history books
won’t forget about us
Not again

We will always remember
the spring that
wouldn’t end

Our news feeds
were filled up
The grids became slower
We didn’t plan for this
[oh but we did, I tell ya!]

There are some who
are thriving
Finding their way in
the darkness

Pardon me, could you be
a little more quiet?
You’re disrupting the
regularly scheduled
program on war and
violence

And some became so
blinded by hate that
country of origin
was more important
than a human life

And how did they report it?

We became experts
in the art of hard targets
We had more
coffins than nails
and hammers

Virtual funerals
became a thing
When family and
friends “Party of 20”
didn’t mean the
same thing

Quickly, hide your children
hide the old and the wise
“They are most vulnerable”
lock them up inside

And we tried to
save the college
graduate
Who had no known
preexisting conditions
and as he gasped
for air

He blamed the politicians
for sending them down
the wrong path to
righteousness

And he became
just another number
on any given day

During the spring
that wouldn’t end

So we partied on
live streams-
danced in virtual
clubs
Made friends with
strangers
learned how to love

There were those
who logged
hundreds of hours
building their fantasy
worlds
Where Tim and Tom became
just as prolific as Jack and Jill

And somehow through
it all
We found love in the
time of COVID-19

During the spring
that wouldn’t end
© 2020 Christina Jackson
I could go on and on, but you get the point, right?
264 · Nov 2012
LIFE
Life eventually gets the best of us
And our souls can finally rest
What we do here on earth
Forever be it blessed

© 2012 Christina Jackson
261 · Feb 2013
Mymusicbox
My music box;

Is your heart set on repeat.


It makes my heart;
and your heart
share the same beat


and I'm dying to replay them.

© 2013 Christina Jackson
260 · Mar 2014
Eternity for you
"If I could give you infinity in an hour, I would bleed the minutes from my body. Just so you would know what it's like to feel infinity within a hug" © 2014 Christina Jackson
260 · Mar 2013
Would you?
I can't quite tell, but  I think you've been living in a shell.
I'd like you to come out, and show me what you're all about.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
251 · Mar 2014
Starry night
You are, as tender as the night
The freshly painted black sky could reach down and brush your lips
In the center of this masterpiece called life
I have but only one wish
The wish to see you smile
You would make a beautiful picture
And light up the whole ****** sky
Turn night into day, with the rays
radiating from your eyes
You could summon all the angels and demons alike
But nothing could compare to the beauty of the way
My eyes light up when you make a subtle sly
Remark, about the way that I look
Or the way that I am
You hold the very best and worst parts of me
In the palm of your hands
© 2014 Christina Jackson
242 · Feb 2013
Will you
Will you be my valentine?
All tangled up in red and white.
Between these sheets; we'll lay all night.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
238 · Mar 2014
~Quiet thoughts~
And in that moment
I finally realized-
All we'll ever be,
Is just friends.

© 2014 Christina Jackson
216 · Apr 2020
Waiting Between Worlds
I will always be waiting in between
worlds-

The moment within the moment

Where your arms were once wrapped
around me.

I can still feel you there, next to me.
©2020 Christina Jackson
A draft I never published from 2015, why the **** not right?
215 · Oct 2020
Bare
There is hope for us yet
When words fail
and only actions speak
These hands become healers

Tracing every line
of your shape
Ear to chest
I can feel the shallow
breaths
Heart skipped a beat

The ever-growing tension
shatters-
When these hands hold
your face and kiss
you softly
dissolving the pain

Those eyes speak volumes
my heart hurts
When you grabbed my hand
and wouldn't let go

These healing hands
they shake
with indecision
Terror running through
my veins

The denial of something
real and concrete
A self-sabotaging trait
I wish to eliminate

I want you to want me
for me, not some convoluted
fantasy

I fashion metaphors
and wear them like armor
to deflect
All I want is to **** the air
from your lungs

Hold me tight
oh healing hands
don't fail me now

I need you now
more than ever
As they glide up
and down my spine

Now I'm naked
holding my heart out
to you
©2020 Christina Jackson
214 · Feb 2014
Lost at sea
There once was a girl, that thought she could rule the world.
But her reality was broken, and everything she once had was now lost and hopeless.

She could feel the doom like a storm brewing off the coast
Everything she had went up in flames, only faint vapors of smoke remained

It wasn't in her best interest to lose sight of what she wanted so badly
Her grip was too tight, she squeezed the life right out of her dreams
and let them float by.

Only blue skies, or so she thought
Her eyes weren't focused on the prize
Just the thought of holding that prize as her own.

She couldn't have known it would end this way
No one saw it coming, the boat gradually sunk
and she was lost at sea.

With no one there to rescue her
She sunk quietly
into the night.

To her, there was no feasible end in sight
She lost all inhibitions and wouldn't let go of her pride.
Now she tries to justify her actions with excuses and lying eyes.

Her ship has no sails, and no captain to steer the wheel
All she wishes for is a way out of here.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
211 · May 2020
A lack thereof
When you lose the motivation
to keep breathing

Feeling-

The apathy settles in
Like an old friend
Unwelcome, locked doors
keys thrown aside

You tried

You feeling nothing anymore
it's all been a lie
© 2020 Christina Jackson
210 · Apr 2020
The reappearing act
We all have demons-

The difference between,
you and me-

I choose to feed them.

They live rent-free,
unwanted guests trapped
in the abyss of my memories

I cannot hide
it's all in my mind

separation of church and
state
There is no redemption

Last call, fist fight-
getting over the words
inside of my mind

I must be dreaming
it's all deceiving
©2020 Christina Jackson
stream of conscious
200 · Mar 2013
Some time
It's been a while
Since I've seen you smile
Where have you been?
Won't you just stay a while?
© 2013 Christina Jackson
199 · Apr 2020
Breaking through
And new callouses formed-
hardening the once bloodied
and broken skin

Roots broke through
old dirt
now renewed

Part the seven seas
The veins of earth,
need to breathe

We've come undone,
time to reweave-
the fabric of ourselves
hath been redeemed.
©2020 Christina Jackson
literally just gardening today so bored i want quarantine to end
173 · May 2020
Ferocity
I am not for the meek
the weak
or the faint of heart

I am fire
And passion

Blazing trails of dust
in the faces of every man
that wronged me

And now I wake
Rise to the occasion
and let the sorrow in

Today is for the wicked
and tomorrow we sin
© 2020 Christina Jackson
171 · Apr 2020
Muddy waters
Under the covers we keep-
a secret so deep

Poseidon swam away
screaming

Swallowed whole-
His trident sunk to the bottom

You'll never find him
©2020 Christina Jackson
uhhh IDK
162 · Apr 2020
Time jump
And suddenly, without warning-
A fire ignited inside of her

Years of dormancy
Emerging from her slumber

Starting over is some kind
of wonderful
©2020 Christina Jackson
Little thoughts

— The End —