May flowers
Under broken raindrops, pale love devours
Nary a bucket to collect them in
Drowsy mornings
A trembling within, and solemn warnings
Nary a violin to soothe a sinking mind
Every awakening begins with a kiss goodnight

In the palm of my hands
There is stone
There is lace
And a rope bridge between heaven and hell

Ashen-haired symphony
I am resolved
To tend your wounds
So you can save my heavy soul tonight

I am not a castaway
Just a weathered picture frame
A drop of midnight
In an ocean of morning dew

I feel a hand touching mine
Not of stone
Not of lace
But made of love and atmosphere

And through the darkest nights
Unable-bodied as I am
I finally give way
To the grace that crushes my empty lungs

With each step that I take now
I am hellbent,
Yet heaven-broken
Caution is the property of the wind

The power of pain is ungoverned
As faith slowly bleeds out
Children transfixed and mesmerized
While cannons cauterize our wounds

Mother moon, over hills and lakes
Eyelids can't resist the weight
Arms vanquished and immobilized
As dawn breaks our last awakening

By splendor's dying light
Treason has spoiled meager hearts
Eyes squinting and crestfallen
We are but a fraction of this mutinous crew

For our deaths may be inevitable
And our honor may be unenviable
But betrayal blinks and relapses
As shield and sword seed the earth

The mind can only think so much
Before it wanders
Before it dampens
Before it derails

The heart can only take so much
Before it withers
Before it crumbles
Before it falters

Sever the ties before they tighten
Sever the stems before they bloom
Sever this love before I shatter
Sever these memories that loom

Because the mind can only think so much
Before it wanders
Before it dampens
Before it derails

And the heart can only take so much
Before it withers
Before it crumbles
Before it falters

Stained glass,
It hides the loathing
But nothing can hide the avarice
A southbound train rips rain from clouds
And he frowns as heaven spills her cup

He sips at tea,
Oversteeped
Swimming in thoughts bereft of color
The seat makes him feel claustrophobic
But less so than he felt yesterday

The grinding of gears,
That ****** grinding plays her melodies
Guilt shimmers off mountain waters
While subtle delusions of grandeur thrive
Deep within his heart's lifeless abyss

The train finally stops,
And he buttons his overcoat
As broken words rattle around his mind
The next stop, sweet's revenge upon bitter
The next town, failure's judgment day

It's true
I used to have a softer heart
I used to feel the ***** of the pin
As it etched across the surface
Inscribing the images
Of your storied beauty,
And tattooing the words,
Such magnetic words
That drew me into your divinity

It's true,
I once possessed a sweeter smile
One that packed naivete in its suitcase
In its travels across my face
Vaulting me far beyond
Time and space,
And into a fairytale,
Such a frivolous fairytale
Forever staining my memory

But now,
I am trapped in this hourglass
With a heart made of granite
And for the first time
In this causal loop,
You're on the outside,
Peering in from the shadows
And the soft tissue
Is far from intact

Under layers,
A word lies dormant in the dark
Under pressure,
A quiet rage swells in the deep
Soft earth,
Hardened where good men fell
Eve of eradication,
Waiting on division and the end
Under clouds,
We tear the fabric of blue skies
Under bombs,
We shed the skin of our apathy
Beleaguered body,
Sleep now, so I can dream
Surreptitious knives,
Withdrawn from the back of belief
Wander off now,
Til' tripwires change your mind, child
Come home again,
Death begins at the first uttered word
Come home again,
Life ends at the sound of silence

I'm easing my thoughts into mountains distant
Settling them down on a plot of empty land

No automobile could reach this perfect place
No telephone could interrupt my dreaming

There's just breath here that I've failed to inhale
And altitude that brings my mind full circle

There's no money here, nor the madness that shares its DNA
Only me, alone with self-preservation

Have I ever been anywhere more serene than nowhere?
Outside, the mindful breeze flies my burdens back to city lights

I hear only the simple noises; no more bickering, clatter, or static
So I can finally break this fever that's burned me for years

Stop me if you have heard this one before.
"Boy meets girl."

Stop. Erase.

"Boy meets girl in a trivial pursuit."

Stop. Erase.

No, there is no meeting at all.
Boy never meets girl, as meeting implies brevity.
A meeting is held in a conference room.
A meeting is not felt to the very core.
A meeting is no flower on the brink of bloom.

The reality is, the world ceases to spin on its axis.
The sun flares at the sight of her.
The moon implodes at the sound of her.
Mars and Venus collide at the touch of her.
All while constellations dance like moths,
Hovering far too close to a flame.

There is no pulse, only rhythm.
There is no break, only bend.
There is no rescue, only flailing.
There is no beginning, only end.

Now boy is standing at the center of a great divide.
And girl disappears, abruptly as the tide.

Stop me if you have...

Stop.  Erase.

As I button up this plain shirt
On a mild Tuesday morning
It's good to know
That I can still smile without you

As I pour myself a glass of juice
And think of my children laughing
It's good to know
That I can still daydream without you

And as the days pass by swiftly
The pain you brought me bleeds away
And it's good to know
That life goes on without you

I am brittle around tender edges
I am skittish around rocky ledges
But I am still finding all the layers within myself

I am faithless around the enemy
I am graceless around the melody
But I am prospecting the deepest mines within my soul

I am radiant around sunshine
I am deviant around moonshine
But I am no longer listening to the voices within my head

I am oblivious around elegance
I am envious around dissonance
But I am merely one chord in a forgotten song

Your lies are insurmountable
But they are brittle as glass
I move the stars around the night sky
To hope that somehow,
I will move you

Your eyes are undeniable
But they are darker than the night
I move these colors around your halo
To hope that somehow,
I will move you

Your second glances are unattainable
But they're not as clairvoyant as they seem
I move these cars along this highway
To hope that somehow,
I will move you

Your aftertaste is unpalatable
But it lingers beyond the morning
I move my lips along the shadows on your skin
To hope that somehow,
I will move you

Starfield, as scattered as this mind
And sirens,
As shrill as darkness redesigned
Forgive me, please, forgiveness
For I have granted you to the undeserving

Starfield, as bright as your eyes
And sirens,
As dead as this compromise
Forgive me, please, forgiveness
For I have left you weary from overuse

Starfield, as lost as misery
And sirens,
As distant as you are to me
So forgive me, please, forgiveness
For I have finally led you here to die

Nothing's on my mind
Least of all, you
Because the world scatters its superstitions
In varying shades of blue

Sacrifice your sanity
To chase bliss with calloused feet
Sacrifice your yesterdays
For a glimpse of tomorrow's heartbeat

Sacrifice your piteous condition
For a second chance at history
Sacrifice the bittersweet aftertaste
After you leave what's left of me

Nothing's on my mind
Least of all, you
Because the world spins on emptiness
In varying shades of blue

What is relevant?
Am I?
The guardian of my world and its core?
Defender of my lies and my saline?
Protector of my secrets and my dreams?
Or does my immobile body lie still?
Still as a fallen tree, years after erosion

What is comfortable?
Am I?
With the innocence that I victimize?
With the harvests that I destroy?
With the choices that murmur their doubts?
Or do my bones creak with malaise?
Locked into place like a villain at the end

What is everlasting?
Am I?
With a court of misconceived notions?
My mortality held in question?
The bevy of epithets dispersed in my honor?
Or does the realm erode with every misdeed?
Cracking from the strain of my imprudence

What is fallacious?
Am I?
The sayer of nays from a golden throne?
Baseless breaker of laws and hearts alike?
Miscreant traitor of my own kin?
Or is this truth aching for the surface?
Like a seedling stretching out for the sun

There's no evidence
Outside of the standard fare
Newspapers, melodies, and such
That any of us are real

The way we dispatch
With pleasantries and daydreams
And recoil from the sunrise
With the swiftness of a blink

There's only proof
That we squander oxygen
With every infected inhalation
And do it all over again

Traced by a pencil,
We're still waiting
For a simple splash of color,
Both brilliant and bright

Sometimes, my words end up lost in translation  
I feel as though I'm speaking
To a room full of bystanders
None of whom care what spills forth
From this cotton mouth

It's like there are two of me
One to speak the words
And another to think the thoughts
Neither are in communication
Neither know who the hell I am

Scatter-brained is a loose term
Loosely held together by patience
And carelessly painted grey mornings
My head collects the words
And the same head rejects the connotations

I can't open my lips for all this trembling
I've never been one to placate nerves
Or to weave brilliance out of inhibitions
I just ransack the audience's hopes
And sprinkle them with pessimistic hail

Some might believe I may be hamstrung
By a heel only Achilles might covet
And a frailty in how I read between the lines
If I fail to impress, will I just forget?
Or scar myself with phantoms of things unsaid?

Undoubtedly, there are places for people
Like me, of my ilk, of my stature
Not that I've ever stumbled into such a place
Or climbed the ladders that they set
In front of feet that prefer the ground

I am frozen in constant motion
I am the fog rolling into the valley
Absorbing a pale, forgotten horizon
For my eyes are now useless and folly

Grant me my daily consequences
Salvation's boulevard blisters my feet
My hands caress these rolling hills
Veiling them in blankets of ice and sleet

As the sun rises, I am stationary
As though I'm tethered to my shadow
The depth of my plight has grown ever deeper
While my list of reasons has grown ever shallow

They label me 'forever falling'
They pull the tourniquet far too tout
I am frozen in constant motion
With no hope of getting out

Drip.
Drip. Drip.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Like a flood it takes me over.
Hands of life come ever closer.
Water, tides, and waves crashing.
Simple, sample, teeth ever gnashing.
I call out your name and the echoes shatter.
The shape of our outline never matters.
Simple, sample, tongues ever dancing.
Water, tides, and waves prancing.
Hands of death come ever closer.
Like a flood it takes me over.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Drip. Drip.
Drip.

Here I am, broken, porcelain
Walking roads of freshly withered flowers
Grey erases all things harlequin
****** asunder, darkness devours

Here I am, meant to weep and wither
There's venom coursing through my veins
Shadows lurk as she sleeps and slithers
And happenstance controls my reigns

Here I am, a fraud and skeptic
Debating if forked roads lead to forked tongues
She sheds her skin when the need arises
And restricts the oxygen from my lungs

Here I am, contrite and frail
Rattled by the desert within her mind
I chase nothing but wind and fairytales
Yet collapse from this weight of mine

Arsonist!

Cold, you fanned flames into my stationary heart
Hover close, and don't move so quickly
I can't escape the realization that I need my scars
Leafing through the scattered ashes for a reason
Loving you through more than warm seasons
In event of disaster, scurry back to where you feel safe
Nevermind me, I am only here to
Garrison your defenses and save you from me

Fear what you don't know
I could never chase blizzards while I'm burning
Raiding fortresses with a simple stare
Every word, every machine, where your heart used to be

Hard candy on her tongue
A sweet salvation
On another day clinging to sleep
It rolls around
Then dissolves away
Tickling at senses now long numb

A wilted iris in her eyes
Mere days away from bloom
In a field where colors melt in the sun
They are blown about
Then dissolve away
Saturating scars that sprout here every year

Soft pillows on her head
A clever distraction
From the thoroughfare of men
They breathe hello
Then dissolve away
Leaving a sour and bitter aftertaste

String puppets in her hands
A disembodied redemption
In a heroine's games of right and wrong
They flail about
Then dissolve away
With an austere smile, she clips the tethers

Failure
        is not a collision,
               It's only the yellow lines.

Part I

There is a trail that I've walked a time or two
Wearing heavy shoes made of crackling fire
I've left behind only a charred unrecognizable road
And a sunrise as bitter as its roots

The trail parts swiftly, cleaving me as it cleaves itself
My route is camouflaged in winter's blanket
I spin on heels that have worn their welcome
And I walk beyond the borders of this dream

There's an old woman in a cottage
Who tells me I have a mist behind my eyes
"Brown is the color of failure," I tell her as I pass
And she flashes a half-smile that chills me to my bones

Part II

Late to rest, yet early to rise
Quarrelsome images tirelessly haunt my sleep
The old lady waves from the bottom of the hill
But it's too late to turn back now

I see a saddle of good weight resting against birchwood trees
Yet no sign of steed for miles around
As calloused palms meet calloused leather
I sense the spirit of its rider wash over me

The path now winds like a time traveling clock
My breathing hastens as my feet carry on
I hear whistling but I'm unsure of the source
Is it me?  Or is it something out of sight?

Part III

I come to a clearing at long last
Blistered feet have taken me far, just not far enough
My pupils sense a brightness I haven't encountered before
Instinctively, my hands shield my cowering eyes

The old woman is there, whispering to lilies
In a language my mind has no hope of comprehending
She pays no heed to my presence at all
Yet she knows that I linger in my bewilderment

She plucks a lily from the unblemished earth
And I see a brilliant steed at the center of the shimmering field
"Brown is the color of failure," she says with a parched grin
And suddenly my path becomes very clear

Part IV

I flinch as the light overwhelms my perception
Evolving now into an ethereal embrace
Though blind, my feet move without my mind's approval
And suddenly I am mounted upon the majestic horse

Like a snare drum, its gallop is steady and gallant
My sense of direction in disarray as I'm carried through the woods
I hear the woman's hands wringing at weeds in the distance
Despite how far from the clearing I should be by now

The horse tenses and sneers as momentum careens to a halt
I feel myself being thrown through air, time, and space
My brown eyes blink as oxygen floods my rested lungs
Gasping, I realize I'm as awake as I have ever been

End.

It's my birthday today, and I can remember a time
When some things weren't so distant
And other things weren't so close

I remember when all I ever wanted
Was to pull you close and make love to you
To be part of something I couldn't understand

I remember when all I ever wanted
Was to find the edge of our universe
To find the brightest of stars instead of the deepest of scars

But now, the effortless way you drift away
Makes me feel empty and unsheltered
And rusts away at dreams that once shimmered

It's my birthday today, and I can remember a time
When I wanted a future with you
More than I wanted a future with myself

Where the sun goes, I shall follow
I'll grab hold as it rises in the east
And I'll jump off as it sets in the west
With burned hands and scorched feet

Where the fire burns, I shall simmer
I'm better off dying slowly than in a heartbeat
Cold hard sweat beads across the face of apathy
And it's clear I'm in over my head

Where the pavement cracks, I shall fall between
I'm a step closer to redefining destiny
And a step further from where we left our misery
Sitting on the bedside table

Where the world turns, I shall be waiting
I'll tear the bandage off and embrace the scars
And wave goodbye to the passersby
They don't even know how finite they really are

My mouth is dry.

Drink.

I spoke all the words, though not necessarily of wisdom.
You respond with your patented silence.
And what little of my soul remains,
Seeps out from my pores to further stain the floor.

Drink.

Then, like a westerly wind you sweep through,
Temporarily rattling my leaves
Upsetting the rhythm of my heartbeat
And dividing the spoils of my treasures
Then everything turns calm.  Everything is dim.

Drink.

Somehow, you always avoid reaping what you sow
Nothing ever changes, be it from scream or whisper
So I salvage my belongings
And build a foundation that's at least stronger than before

Westerlies.

The mortar in the cracks of my heart soften and crumble at your feet
The crevices are just enough to slither your way inside
And like a termite, you devour all that's within
Do you have no conscience?
Are you pre-disposed to destroy?

My mouth is dry.

My mouth is unfathomably dry.

*Drink.

If you bury me with my secrets
A diamond may finally sprout
From beyond the grave, in this self-centered age
These brittle bones will dig their way out

I started this lovesick revolution
By simply stumbling out the front door
But now terrors unspeakable
Are seeping beneath this rotting floor

If you bury me with my secrets
Only an earthquake will set it free
From beyond the grave, I'll still turn the page
Bleeding like notes from a symphony

I carried the fears of a thousand men
Walking the line between life and death
These nightmares unthinkable
Erase everything but my breath

Family values,
Sold on the black market
Five dollars for a segue from the chorus
Of a baby's happy first words
To the tears caused by daddy's final vice

Compromise,
The loft where secrets sleep
Parrying words with shields of skin
Tethering dreams to a fencepost in the lawn
To keep them from the clouds in the distant sky

Life escapes,
Like the air from a balloon
It erodes like a weathered mountain
All the lights are on in a three-story house
But everyone's home and drowning

In the dark.

The mind is a terrible place to live
Full of musty air
Brittle furniture
And a screen door riddled with holes

Draped along the crown molding
Rest moldy memories
The shadows of mistakes
And chipped paint from tempests long ago

The bedroom is where she lies
But not everywhere that she lied
Empty as before
And empty as it will always be

The hallway where the walls collapsed
Where the claustrophobia sets in
Where echoes once rang
Where silence now has lease

The mind is a terrible place to live
Full of wasted years
Padlocked rooms
And a basement where the darkness sleeps

I'd go anywhere with you
Anywhere that the sun sets
Anywhere that your mind forgets
Anywhere that my heart still skips

But the best laid plans
Lay stationary
Waiting for their chauffeur
Waiting for their moment to come undone

I would have taken flight with you
Taken you beyond the shimmers
Taken nothing for granted
Taken the glow to the ever-after

But the fairest of the unfair
Stays stationary
Carrying the burden of beauty
And waiting for the words to ricochet

This lore we have created
Taken for granted and back again
The steps we have taken
Where scuttlebutt scrapes and scratches skin

Seething in their brilliance
These broken days echo throughout my soul
I'm lost between where winter rises and summer sets
Tearing at mind and flesh, a costly toll

Weakened eyes reap what they've sown
I slumber deep within this encumbrance
The roads we have forsaken
Shimmer like gold in their extravagance

This war we have been waging
Straddling fences and bleeding sorrow
This was the greatest of my yesteryears
Starving our hearts just to save tomorrow

Caught between the frost
And the mire of mediocrity
We're just passengers on failure's final ferry

We're courageous, yet hamstrung
By demons and daydreams
I've learned the cold makes these thin bones ache

And all this foreboding has drained
The little strength that I've managed
To collect from season to broken season

I tucked the past in an overcoat
Before I stepped out on the porch
Hobbling despite the crutches that I carry

Am I a witness to winter?
Or a simpleton of madness?
I loved you more than every "*******" muttered under icy breath

But I'm still struggling
Fighting against the weight of it

Simply...caught

Caught between the frost
And the mire of mediocrity

Folly
I told you it was folly to come here
These baseless accusations haunt us
And even on tiptoes, we make far too much noise

Our greed is insatiable
Our lust runs even deeper than the greed
And with every molehill we shape into a mountain
It's no wonder that our bones ache at the climb

Carefully
I told you we must tread carefully
There are gnashing teeth at our broken ankles
While every footfall brings us closer to demise

Our vanity is everlasting
Our sanity has taken flight to bluer skies
And with each hour exposed to this blackened sunlight
It's no wonder that our hearts rival the darkness of the sky