Energy. I tend to feed off of people's energy. Ups n downs and ins n outs, no matter the feel. But feeling yours i knew i needed more of whatever it was, before even knowing what kind of freckled- face mess i was getting myself into.
The feeling beats me, you looked into me, not looking but seeing into me even before i could put my rambling circles of thoughts into words. You wanted to know everything that went on in my scattered brain, and i opened up to you and showed you more sides to me than ive ever shown anyone. You wanted me to dump my brain onto a page and now i only try so you can further understand me because i want you to know and see and feel it all. For a beautiful ******* soul to want to get to know mine, its scary and i want it more than ever. It brings the slightest hope that by knowing more you'll only want to continue to draw deeper into me and end my fear of only having a whirlwind of a time with someone. I hate endings and i know nothing but. But you opened my mind and by helping turn my thoughts into words, as the words come out it brings a clarity of the things ive always felt, only now turning into a reality of a statement. As you speak it comes to life. Your life is full of adventure and going with the flow and writing and reading and i only want to read everything your eyes have seen to share one more view with you. Your views are golden and pure and its different and beautiful so i wonder cause i don't know why you get high all the time. What are you trying to get away from? What feeling are you trying to numb? Can i feel that feel and have it become real, knowing it'd turn surreal? Your rhymes are dimes and you know so much you don't need to fall into the trap of paying for an education that should be free for the free spirits like you. But then i want you to fall because i can only imagine all that you could do. Because you pull me back into the moments of time, here and now and the way you frantically hit the keys of that keyboard because your ideas flow out of you like the ocean your soul is really made of, because you don't have a phone and i want nothing more than to pick mine up and call you just to know your current thoughts. Was there more than simply liking the color purple to trade shirts? To have a piece of me? Because now i have a piece of you and i never let anyone but i let you see me. Even when i didnt you did. But my lines are jagged and yours are squiggly and I want you to know everything that goes on in my mind so that maybe you'll want to find out for yourself and it scares me. Because ive never watched a show someone's told me to watch before and I only like the sound of that song when it's early in the morning playing in your room. You told me to open my mind and spill it onto paper but sometimes words just aren't enough.
Dishes never seemed more appealing

What'd you do today?
Can i get a mere glimpse into the life i wish i was apart of, only to be one step closer to understanding your world that you think is full of stress and is anything but care-free as you think me?
Where've you been today?
Who'd you give the gift of your presence, what memories did you make without me? Did you laugh more than normal, was it peaceful? Did you have to look away to avoid eye contact with her when your feelings welled up from inside of you, as they always do, and come out on that face showing nothing but adornment? Did you see deeper into someone else or watch the sunset with a fairy with those cherry eyes of yours? Again?
How was your day today?
Did you make Tunica feel ugly? For once those questions are not my own and as i try to imagine your face as you wrote it a smile comes across mine.

breathe.
                                   breathe                           breathe.                            breathe.


i                bleed                    at           the                      thought                of
      
          being                           alone                             forever.
  
i                                  already                   am                          alone....



                                       forever.

•
                                                If you are a tree,

Bombarded by extreme winds,


                                            In the amidst of a typhoon,


                                                      ­                     I'll sacrifice to be your roots,
                                                          ­       To diminish your agony,


OH, I cannot manage seeing you suffer!

                             In carrying on in a big tragedy,
                                                        ­       With utmost throe alone ,




Let me be torn and broken into fragments,
                 And be cut in combating and holding for you,



That's how much I love and care,

                                          I wish you only knew...



                       © Earl Jane
                         ♥ E.J.C.S.

"I've never been this in love before"
You say that every time
"This is the most painful heartache I've ever felt"
You say that every time
Maybe you're exaggerating
Maybe you've gone through worse
But that doesn't help you now
because now you're in the middle of it
it's not a sad memory
it's not a faded scar
it's your today, your present, your now
and your now is more painful than all your yesterdays combined

The girl in the mirror

Who is she?
The girl in the mirror,
I don't recognise her anymore,
Sometimes she looks at the distance,
Her ghostly looks
Send through me a shiver,
Her lips move
But I can't hear a word she utters

And then she zeroes in on me again
Her eyes go vacant,
Her  face goes grave
And I realise
She is no longer there,
Just a ghost
A shadow
Of who she once was
Still haunting
The body she used to dwell in

A heart
Forced to beat.
Who stole the light in those eyes?
Her face looks familiar,
Yet so estranged.

I take a step towards her,
She does too.
I move my hand,
And she follows
The realisation came,
The girl In the mirror,
Is no one else
But myself.
Dark circles,
Creating a contrast against her pale skin
It is so hard to look
At the jagged cuts all across her thighs.
Who would ever be gentle
Across her jagged cuts?
Who would pull her up,
From the midnight thoughts she has been sinking in
Farther and farther?
Who else,
If not she, herself?

She is the anchor
Weighing her wings down,
But she also has the power of wind
That won't be bound.
She is sunshine and darkness both,
In her own world
And she must and she will learn
How to balance the colors
To create a perfect picture


So tonight is the time
To fall in love with the girl in the mirror
Oh yes,
The girl in the mirror
Found herself,
The girl in thr mirror
Stopped looking for help.

she realised
Perfection is perceptional
And not itself perfect.

Beware of her,
For you have not seen her best yet.
One day she will show the world the
Art she carries within herself.

I think you ripped an artery,
‘cause now it seems my heart wont beat,
It’s like the air is starving me,
because it feels so hard to breathe,
You ripped away a part of me,
and then you just discarded me,
And left me, looking far too pleased,
to see me scarred and on my knees,
I’ve realized it’s hard to bleed,
when you find your hearts deceased,
But now its not so hard to see,
you were a cancer harming me

I'm waiting for the "block" to break.
My pen is filled with ink.
Nothing seems to come to mind.
I can barely think.

My rhymes have just meandered
Out the kitchen door.
Inspiration took a day off.
My life's become a bore.

The headlines don't excite me.
The president didn't call.
The queen did not invite me.
There was no mail at all.

The pope just went fishing.
Congress is on a break.
My lottery tickets have disappeared
And I can't stay awake.

I guess I'll stay in bed all day
And enjoy a lengthy nap
And maybe have a dream or two
To get me back on track.

I don't have a poem today
Or wait... I think I do...
I'll call it "I don't have a poem today."
And foist it all on you!