Another day passes
And i still don’t know if i
Want to live or die

Say hello to your new friend
That is called
Anorexia Nervosa.
Rigid are her ways,
Viscious her thoughts,
Endless commitment.

Just have enough courage to go
Up, high up and
Make the final step
Plummeting down into oblivion.

Death would be so wellcoming
Opening its arms
Widely for me
Never letting me go.

inhale;
the antiseptic smell of
hospital corridors and
alcohol hand-rubs.

Why are you here again?

Exhale;
In one breath,
promise yourself never
ever do it again.

repeat from top

This vicious cycle of
in and outs,
When will i ever get
better?

Hot hard heartless tarmac
How do you feel?
I hear the sound of screeching tires and footsteps
Does it hurt you?
I'm envious, you
Get to stare at the blue cloudy skies all day and
see little black birds
flaunt their free will.
How is the view?
You are so constant,
Always black and
sometimes grey but
never white.
You never seem to let
anything determine your
worth.
Could you just please
teach me how too?

I walk round
And round
And round
Hoping to hit my ten
Thousand steps.
How many calories does that
burn?

I end up eating
And eating
And eating
All 3 meals they serve
Me. Do I deserve
This?
How many calories do they
Have?

I lay and think
And think
And think
Why am I still
Alive?
Why did I not ****
Myself
Right
This
Time?