I wish someone had told me
he was just a silly child
an empty vessel of a man
a selfish psychopath
a boy blinded by love
who lusted for control
who craved every bloodied part of me

I wish I could tell him
that the thought of his touch
makes me feel ill
makes me feel *****
makes me feel naked

I wish he had loved me properly
from the beginning
the way a man should
with tender kisses and
even softer words

I wish I had left him
10 days in
3 weeks in
when he said "I love you"
when he hung up the phone
when I hung up the phone
when I forgot how to laugh
when I had my first anxiety attack
or the second one
or the third

*I wish I didn't love him

Gold and silver in the night
Texaco sign burning bright.
There's freedom in her lies,
there's summer in her eyes.
She's far away now
cartoon lips, bottle blonde and how?
She sells her soul, crying.
Claiming she's happy and yet she's lying.
In the Sunset Boulevard,
she's living fast and playing hard.
Light up that sequin dress
in the spotlight and smoke, god bless.
Bless her young life, having fun.
Just drive till dawn in the sparkling midnight sun.
She says "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
She's slowly dying, drowning in the risen moonshine.
The girl with the Arctic Mind, left behind and she's doing time.
Broken down dreams are the crime.
Acrylic paint and golden curls
in the pink light, she dances and twirls.
Lives her life on,
depending on his paper love and his con.
Furs, diamonds and thick smoke,
happiness for her is turning out to be a sick joke.
She was the girl with the Arctic Mind.