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The wreaths of requiem ,
rest like the flocks of pigeons
in the delapidated buildings
where we house the words of
a frustratedly forgotten God

Our thoughts are marbled
Sculptured by surely ways
that leave their mark upon
the soft white limestone
we once held for granite

So we take "noes" for hostage
"Yes" in all it's uncertainty
and doubts and fears
we leave to professionals

Mass en Mass . . .
the silence shouts for redemption
as Altar boys stare straight ahead
and mouth unholy words
they could not swallow

Nay Nay !
The robes of iniquity
girdles more than the truth
of daybreaks after nights
of shadowed sin , brutal lusts
and innocent blood stained floors
It is what it is .
finding your rock
scratching the surface
attempting to make contact
inside is life
life is inside
breaking even
evenly breaking
assessing
assessing
recalibrating
attempting to find
essence of interest
interest found
inside
life is inside
inside
inside is life
Should probably be revising
or spending time with her
bettering myself or something
along those lines
and maybe just rehearse
the same old story
albeit a little bit boring
the truth
feeling a shy sense of lonely
I should better my bank account
do some overtime
and sometimes
I think I should be closing blinds
crawling back in to my mind space
laying in bed thinking;
why am I such a **** waste
a lack of feeling
a lack of fun
a lack of taste
forever feeling misplaced
forever missing the old days
forever failing to take shape
it's like life is picking up the pace
and I'm forever stuck in the same place
searching for the will to live
but there's none spare
a lack of preparation always
leads to being unprepared
but I never learn my lesson
always finding another distraction
my attention span just a fraction
of what it used to be
and if I ever had faith I'm losing it
as far as I can see
and yes it's that same old story
I should probably be bettering myself
but I just keep writing sorry poetry
The distant park
Was a graveyard of dead stars.
Each streetlight a system of worlds,
So many lives between each mote of light,
Indistinguishable in their unique love,
Bespoke hate, and the drama of the modern age.

Drunk laughter behind transparent
Double doors. Another hotel balcony,
Another cloud behind the canopy
Of marijuana eyes
To unsettle me from the crowd.

She points out, when you look closely
You can see the disorder
Amongst all constellations
Of life and love and litter;
Of discarded Coke cans
And temporary highs.

She says this is not a scene
To imbue the ****** of a present mind,
More to baulk at the incompletion
Of one thousand to-do lists;
A million reasons why
You should just stay inside.

She says you can see the human swell
Of ignorance, our city lights
Blotting out the stars
In a black ocean of broken politic
And irretrievable fault lines-
Divisions between us all.
Lives twisted with professional smiles
And eyes lit with stunning indifference.

Still, I have felt charity and warmth
On the doorstep of lunatics and fascists.
I have read the love of life
In faces of those who gave up.
I have recounted countless artists
Who saw beauty
In moments that precisely lacked it.

I have spent too many nights
In anaesthesia,
Fleeing each instance of feeling
And terror; all the tremors
That tell me I am still alive.

Continued to stare at the lights
Long after her voice
And the laughter inside had gone.

Heard waves in the traffic.
A world so large, so expansive,
It can never truly sleep.
Every broken heart,
Every war-torn land,
Every promotion,
Every one-night stand.

I wonder what would happen
If we all stood still.
If we all took one moment
To observe the motion
That unfolds beneath
Our static windowsill.

If we all took one moment
To recover our loss.
The wars that we won,
The feelings, forgot.
The hell we retain;
Our paradise, lost.
C
Confessions, confessions
everybody wants to learn the lesson
but nobody ever wants to pay attention
real world problems and such? Nah
they're just analysing the regressions a touch
don't think on it too much
or your head might just feel a little bit

So, attention! attention!
before I forget my digression
I've been meaning to lay waste to
the lies and oppression but
as this world that we live in
rather than fate would have it
I'm just another voice amongst screams
inaudible, lost, the sound of mania and fiends
or just not worth a listen it seems

Sugar, **** and cream
outdated music reverbed and rewritten
old films on new screens have me smitten
just keep feeding me that good stuff
I don't do politics; I'm living the dream
I thought I was in 2016, but now this,
this is cartwheels and  back-flips

In a favourite song of mine a lyric goes
"wise men wonder, while strong men die"
with age came the realisation that was a lie
wise men don't wonder they already know why
it's the strong men that tell boys not to cry
then wonder about the epidemic of male suicide
which is the leading cause of death for men under 35









Just keep feeding me that good stuff
 Feb 2017 Cath Williams
Rapunzoll
hand reaching over
the phantom scars on her leg,
eyes profoundly broken as
flickering christmas lights,
a child weeping inside
the grown woman.
she smiles, she sighs.
there is grey where there
used to be sunshine,
there are desolate trees,
where the birds used to sing,
and crane their necks
like curious strangers,
at women who sit on lone benches
cradling palms,
stirring up memories of
touch so gentle it hurt.
until people float in and out
like a lifebuoy at sea,
until a wolfish man in scruffs
whistles and waves slowly,
as though time itself has broken.
she sinks deeper into herself,
into the womb of mothers;
into all the love
and all the heartache.
© copyright
Turn these restless limbs to stone
so I can get a modicum of rest.
Clothe my bones, walk me home;
steady the clamour of my chest.

Blot the stars with a marker pen,
place a ceiling over my dreams.
No news at ten, play remember when,
when the future falls at the seams.

Place all useless guilt in the dirt
so I can finally lapse to sleep.
No three year hurt, I will iron my shirt
and line my pockets deep.

Hide the misery amongst the flowers,
the ash amongst the living.
These early hours, these mythic powers;
find the solace of forgiving.

Pull me from the Ground Zero rubble
so I can learn to stand again.
Be my double, first sign of trouble;
my anchor and not my chain.

Shield the summer from the rain,
let me walk with a peace.
Free from pain, my voice will strain
for the melody of release.

Heave all words of lazy defeat,
throw them to the pyre.
Been white as a sheet, a snowman in heat;
flame of grief turned to fire.

Mask the eye too full of fear,
leave the door opened for the light.
So used to tears, so many years
at the mercy of the night.

Take me from this dead-end breeze
out into the open air.
I am on my knees, these hopeful pleas,
that you will take me there.
C
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