You said my words are magic
and I smiled while I cried
because my words come from
shattered heart
and bleeding soul.

I had Daisy in my hand
but I let her wilt.
because I was too busy searching.
now that she's gone,
she might be the one I'm looking for.

There's somehow a hole,
a void deep inside,
maybe it's fated,
maybe there's reasons.

We roam the road,
just ride,
some with purposes,
some just go along.

Some hurting,
some happy,
either way we're incomplete.

We crave  the other half,
looking for the missing pieces
of the puzzle,
to feel every spectrum,
of colors existed.

Maybe it's meant to be
that we're only half,
void inside,
because if we're whole,
we're not living.

You're the reason
I write bad poetry.
Because you're
on my mind constantly
so I have to write you down
because you made me
feel
and I'm brimful
of emotions and words
because of you.
It was a curse to have you
in my life
but you're also the muse
to my beautiful poems.

The sunshine and storm

are the package he came with.

I felt in love

hoplessly and unconciously with him.

Because of him

I unwillingly tasted

the true heart break

and the sorrow of falling in love, being in love and falling out of love.

My first love, him.

Now i'm scared of falling in love...

be careful boy with your sweet words.
broken girls fall in love easily
because void heart is dangerous.
Be careful boy,
she'd **** herself in the name of love.

The notes I play on my guitar
sings the perfect flaws that you have,
the perfect scars you have on your skins
the perfect nose that you hated
the butterfly bat of your eyelashes
the perfect weird ways you laugh
the perfect riddled words you said.

The melody capture
the yearn of my heart
to be one with yours,
that is owned by her.

The lyrics I wrote
are the memories that we had,
the way you open your arms
to hug me
when I'm cold and distant
and the way you offer me the dance
when I was as bitter as the coffee
and made me dance like a child.

You're the lyrics that I wrote
coloured by my blue vibe,
splashed with my tears
while you're dancing with her
and kiss her pain away.

I still remember
The sense of comfort
Came with your laughter
Sync with my laughter,
It sends electric down my spine
And butterflies in my stomach.
I missed that day,
I missed you,
I'm missing you.

One month and a half
my heart was aching
but i'm watering my soul
so it turns from black to yellow.

One month and a half
I swallowed your black pills
you gave me when you walked away
and i'm a few pills away to recovering.

One month and a half
our minds and souls were disconnected
and the flame in heart was fading
when you knocked on my door one night
begging, kissing me with the word "I still loved you"
a hundred times.
Travesty..

I saw dolls on runways:
the world pavements
often fond by many
some lost their insanity in chasing them,
some hurting being dolls' tissue.

I knew dolls,
and the beauty their possessed are an illusion for the eyes,
a feast for the eyes,
for those who are tricked adore them
for those who knew,
they sculpture sentiments of adoration.

For those who aren't are forgotten,
unseen of the rare beauty,
and grace
shield by the rib cage,
a goddess,
waiting to be discovered by the lucky ones.

Santa Claus is coming
delivering sun
on this cold winter day.

The sun that change sour face
into cotton candy sweet,
happy face into rays of sun.

Santa Claus is coming
bringing love
to warm our cold bodies.

Santa Claus is coming
wishing merry Christmas!

I destroy myself to feel alive
I destroy myself to feel sane
I destroy myself to feel content

The moon shines
Upon my skin.
Kisses my soul triggering
Memories we had;
Talking until the sun kisses the moon
Until haggard is our middle names
In the morning.
Now I wish we can still
Put haggard in our names
For now I'm only consumed
By the whorling memories
Frozen in time plummeting my heart.

Aesthetic lights, stars and souls,
crowding the place consuming the blithe vibes.
Happy musics reflected on the hearts
of hundreds of people whom seek to feel alive.
On the one night all hearts are union
ending the chapter of one book,
starting the chapter of other book
with fireworks as the starting point.

The cold December night wind reminds me of your voice,
reminds me of the baggage of polaroids of bitter sweet,
of velvet and grey,
of sleeping pill and happy pill.
I hope the night is kind to you.
i'm here wishing on 11.11 for
the bitter sweet polaroids are eternity.

Your words cloths in sugar

sweet to my ear; to my soul.

Your words are sweet yet are made of fire

and my cold heart fell for the treacherous warm.

My head is giddy full of your red roses words

and I'm basking in your words like a moon shining on me.

But I know you're lost and your soul is blue. Now.

and I'm the red wine

soon will be forgotten when you're red again.

Goodbye was your body
long gone before your love.
Goodbye was your voice
love, and words.
Swift as the wind,
excruciating as the sun flaring my skin...
Your ghost stayed,
lingering in my mind, and heart.
Pinching my heart,
every single day.
Unfair, it hurts.

The velvet part of me
is my enemy.
My tears are inexpensive;
I cried at littlest things.
I cried listening to slow songs
I cried watching indie movies,
sometimes cartoon.
I too cried reading novels
and
I cried when people left.
I wish I wasn't fragile
as butterfly's wings.
I wish I don't stay on the ground; to not feel too much
but high on the cloud nine; to feel less.

When you walked away
you took half of me
my strength,
my confident,
my laughter,
my colours,
now i'm as dim as i was before
you whisper the word love.
How can I not love someone
who made me kiss myself in the night.

The day I met you
Is the day when i started to read love poetry
Is the day when I started to write some
The day I met you
Was the day I cried
Watching romantic movies
Was the day I dance to
Love songs.
The day I met you
Was the day I knew
I'll be ruined
But you're the flame
And I'm a moth
You're beautiful and I'm
Drawn yo you

The time past
and so do memories.
My mind is numb
and I felt nothing,
but sadness.
I'm empty
but my hand
and
my heart
are not unison.
I'm curious
but I'm scared
for I no longer can write
because now night time
is just darkness
and an empty room literally.

She stares at a big framed picture hanging on the wall,
in awe and disbelieve of the beauty of the lady.
Words of praise flooding her mind;
She has perfect ivory skin.
She has red blood lips.
She has a beautiful body.
She has diamond hair.
She then looks at her living vessel,
comparing her haggard self to the lady in the picture; alive.
Wishing she is the lady in the picture when
a guy came and said, "I liked your picture miss." and smile.

The day you gave me the red roses
are the day you're about to **** me.

stupid girl
you're different, complex
stupid girl
you're not a princess, flawed
no one will love you baby girl
she's your only friend,
you yourself.,
stop believing you'll ever be loved.

She drinks the soul of innocence
to fill in the void
every night like her favorite red wine.
She couldn't bear the emptiness
so she poured words
and lures the souls
and devoured them,
dismisses the fact she'd ****
their hearts.

She drinks the soul of innocence
to fill in the void
every night like her favorite red wine.
She couldn't bear the numbness
so she touches their skins
and kisses their necks
and turned them blue,
dismisses the fact they'd ****
her with diseases.

She is lost...

I saw you again today and I'm confused. I asked god why? I have liked you and I wrote about you but this is reality and you're hers. And today after so many years and tears and bad poetry, I can look at you like I look at some strangers-I feel nothing.

Another grieving session
Of people walking out of my life.
It's never easy. Never will be.

Today,
The sound of your velvet voice
Send warm to my psyche,
The sound of your warm laughs
Send me back to the past.
To the happy times we had,
To the time I trusted you,
To the time you said you'd never leave me.
But,
You also trigger the chaos in my mind,
Sorrow that will haunt me for life.
Today I realized I hate you but I also love you.

and I'm crying in my void room
at midnight
with you saying everything is going to be alright.
but I know I won't
I don't know when will it be.
with the picture in my head of you and him being together.

You loved classic rock love songs
but you've never loved me like the lyrics...
One day I found out
we are in The Three of Wands tarot card relationship...
I understand now...

A girl sobbing in the corner
writing down poems of her life.
She writes,
the flowers she touched died;
the people she kept cried and left.
Her past is her reflection
and in the future she cries
for that she has chaotic mind and rotten hands.

it's 3 am
all I could think of is the green of the other side
the faded darkness in my mind.

it's 3 am
all I could think of what ifs
what ifs I write a new book.

it's 3 am
all I could think of is God
and cloud nine taste.

to ask a girl like me,
a deranged sad girl
of what rainbow is to her
is being pretty
being rich
being curvy skinny.
to ask a girl like me,
an insecure indigent girl
of what sunshine is to her
is being loved
being pretty
being pretty.
they said she's the ugly girl with a brain.

As days passed by
kissing death seems like a great escape
as my soul is too weary to carry on
too lonely to live.

just another day
where people walk out of my life.
I'm sad but I'm numb.
I'm a t peace but I'm devastated.
I hope things got better someday.

The sweet taste of life,
the taste of cloud nine,
conjure on my psyche
when you're smiling, laughing and looking at me.

Sees the colour purple
in my poor soul
i'm begging
to leave the edge of the cliff
and carry on with new baggage
of memories and life.

my heart pacing in steady states,
beating the same as the days
we were strangers
when we were unison
in status
but not in mind, heart and soul.

Her ghost lingers
in my mind, and yours.
she whom coloured you in the past,
she whom shattered your heart in the past..

She is etched to my mind,
buried by you.. you shattered me..

I wonder,
is she your trauma
or is she your love eternally.
I'm confused, who am i to you.

I still remember the day you walked into my life that you told me I was your soul mate, that I'm a good person. you told me I was the one who has ever seen your dark side and still love you. time flies, the last time I met you, you told me I'm a bad person that I'm a toxic and you gave the last embrace; emotionless.