nearness

I needed yours

remains abandoned

I can’t remember

  can’t remember

           remember?

What’s feeding on my memory?

I can’t remember anything
                            who I am
                            how I ended up here
                            my friends
                            if I have any friends
                            why he abandoned me
                            my day of birth
                            the way home
                            who’s fault

I’m being eaten alive by an illness
I’m being eaten alive
I’m being eaten

I remember
I remember the way
I remember the way out
I remember ******* my way out

I’m breathing in
all the breaths I lost
over your gaze,

and exhaling every poems  
that rhymed with your name

I do not know
how to grieve you

So I will weep
into my pillow

Hoping you’d hear
my gentle sobs,
and forget how to dream

He spoke in silence
that’s where his fluency
flows out the most  

The lone wolf
longingly howled
at the blood moon,
his cries were
like loud sirens

His inner demons
howled for his blood
During nighttime when
he’s buried in the arms
of his beloved insomnia

He’s met with the alpha
and saw his own eyes
reflected in the other betas,
but his eye color
didn’t match with theirs

The abandoned wolf has met
with the alpha whom he shares
the same blood and eyes with,

but the wolf is a second choice in this poem,
he will never truly belong

The lone wolf
happens to be a girl,
but she never lived like one

You see,
she’s the main reason
why she has no pack
or a place to call home

Melancholy is creeping
its way back through
my veins forcing me
to open up old wounds

And I hope for
something more than
a sharpened knife,
and gushing blood

My eyes ache

they weep

a shedding of a tear

like a silent wailing sirens