My dad always told to be afraid of boys who
will leave me and break my heart but he never warned me
that my heartbreak wouldn't come from boys and sometimes
it wouldn't even mean love and sometimes it was so
much more than whatever they try to sell you about love,
it was so much more than "just love" and so much ******* less.
My dad never told me to be afraid of a God that
held my whole existence in His mind by His will.
My dad never told me that girls would break my heart
just as far, and that it was all for the best.
My dad never told me that I was going to break my own heart
when I laid down and didn't want to get up and realized
there wasn't much I wanted to wake up for.
My dad never told me that boys would be the least of
my problems and that silence wasn't dangerous or that
the world was confusing and difficult or that
he didn't know which way was up or down anymore
and I never told my dad, neither did I. Neither did I.

"You deserve more than him," they said.

"There's someone better for you," they said.

But, what if that 'someone better' never comes
And he's the best that I'll ever have?

"She never looked nice. She looked like art, && art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."



Do I make you feel something?

The moment I saw you I knew you were special. The way my body shook and my heart stopped. Just by a simple picture made me fantasize moments I can share with you. From spending winter nights under the stars snuggling in the sheets. to a long walk around the beach while are toes covered by the warm sand. A month goes by and I still can't believe you gave this royal fool a chance of a lifetime and now, I can't help but smile and feel like a young boy and his first love. I've always loved a woman that can get my mind going make me wonder make my imagination run wild. But with you I can't even get close to figuring you out.. your a mystery.  I try to read your heart and soul and I can feel it's warmth but its guarded right to the core. I can see that your scared and you know what else? I'm scared too. Never in my life have I let my guard down so easily. Your voice and touch turns into a key and unlocks my locked doors one by one and you start to notice what's in my heart. Love pure love pure and sweet like honey from a hive. I try to unlock your doors but yours is hard to get into. Every single one has its own unique lock. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to read what's in your heart. But you know what? I wouldn't mind spending ten years twenty or more trying to unlock those doors. And when every single one is open I'll go deep into the core and do what I've always wanted to do. Sew your heart with mine. Because since that first day. I wanted to give you the warmth I can give the love I can show and the security I can provide. You came into my life out of the blue and every day I will never stop till you feel what this royal fool has felt for you.

She knew love was just a safe place
To fall apart
To trust the hands
That bend you
And see pretty even without the sun's shine
Love was holding you in the dark
And being afraid of happiness
Lest it be taken away for being too much
Love was the realisation of having so much skin
After it became coordinates of every part you touched
Love is the story of how she pleaded with a map
As she measured oceans with the length of her fingers
And moved entire forests that came between you

I somehow over complicate things in my head without even trying to.