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 Oct 2014 brokenperfection
ryn
Are we fated to dance to the same tune alone in our separate universes?
Is it true that we must silently keep to our preordained curses?

Are we destined to swoon at the beauty of the moon at differing time slots?
Why were we given invisible ink to connect our lives' dots?

Must it be that our lives revolve around the whims of the sun?
Isn't it ludicrous that we won't see the intricate webs we've spun?

Was it the plan that we exist only in our minds and hearts?
Why do we have to tolerate starting when the other's ending and end at the other's starts?

Has it been written that we can only afford to infinitely chase each others heartbeats?
Was it foretold that we're trapped in a singular notion that never really fits?

Is the game set as such that we can never emerge as winners?
How is it that the ocean was made out of our tears that flowed from rivers?

Why is it that with our entirety we believe but do not know?
What's the reason for the path made clear but we're too afraid to go?

What does it entail to possess the very least but yet you covet it the most?
How do you pride yourself in something but not allowed to boast?

Why do we frantically scramble to piece together jagged shards?
Can't we just play this blasted deck of lousy cards?

Is it destiny or cruelty to have found then lost?
Why does it seem absurd that we have all its takes but can't afford the cost?

Is it the thoughts that **** or the emotions that debilitate?
Is it the challenges we take on or the curveballs we anticipate?

Why bother when sheer folly is all it seems to be?
Why tarry when the heart is free and the mind is ready?

Is it ridiculous to have found myself still very bothered?
Is it wrong to question fate that had always bound us tethered?

Why is the good always bad and the bad becomes worse?
Is it true that the harder we fight, the deeper we immerse?

Has life turned to be but sad little rhetorics?
Are we but performers on stages coerced into theatrics?

Is it time for me to surface this one-man submarine?
Will it be so that if I do, my journey would then begin...?
A host of rhetorical questions from my older writes...

"Surface this one-man submarine"  isn't mine... It's Brandon Boyd's.
Taken off Incubus' " Love Hurts"
 Oct 2014 brokenperfection
r
a sensual curve
to the facade

- infinite femininity -

arched above
rounded windows

- innuendos art of love -

deco of desire
climbing higher

- echoing fire -

...descending spiral stairway
home to shanty on the bay.

r ~ 10/9/14
\¥/\
  |      x
/ \
I don’t know about those pastoral scenes
Those bucolic and primordial endless greens
Unspoilt trees and murmuring streams
I know the concrete and the pavement
Uneven cobblestones with cracks in them
With dandelions growing through
Only sometimes

I love the later more
I’m in love with the concrete behemoths
The back alleys of life
The gnarled bouncers (unreciprocally)
The curious glimpses at weathered flyers on the floor
I love the sterile street lights and the worn faces ILLUMINATED by them
The ushers and hustlers and cautious taxis
The drunk geniuses
The night-swimmers
The nudists
The opinionated
Etc

Yet life whittles down these loves for that of the
Calculable
The
Regimented
And
Controllable
Etc
I am afraid
Not just of getting old
Not just of dying
Not just of being alone
I am afraid of dying,
old and alone.
But worst of all
with nothing to show for
it...

Poetry is a start.
I am stuck in the darkness
A world so bad it has to be real
My dreams never cease to surprise me
in thier vividness
I wake up to my relief
Only to be ****** back into terror
Long shadowy arms extend from my ceiling
And hold me down
I can't move
I try to shout for help...
The shadow covers my mouth
...I live alone anyway
The fear creeps through me
as the electricity of this
shadowy intruder
keeps me still
Panic
And just as fast as it began
the shadow creeps back to the corners
it grew from
and I can move again.

It's three in the morning.
But I am not going back to sleep
I open a book and read instead.
This is the second bout of sleep paralysis I have ever experienced and it is one of the most terrifying things I have ever gone through.
 Sep 2014 brokenperfection
John
Never knew how to lift it.
Only knew that I felt it.
Black skies hung constantly,
clouds formed viciously over me.

Never knew how to walk right.
Only knew I didn't talk right.
Black moods ever present
and false thoughts never relented.

It's different now, though.
I feel a certain energy.
In me, I know I can go
anywhere, despite the lethargy.
Anything, despite the misery.
And all I did was
let go.
No grin, frog lips
It's run, jump, punch
parta the apocalypse
Tired of being the
last ball in the hopper
Worth more than the
price of the copper

...now listen...

Jonzin for the days
Of Zee Emerald
and a loose tooth
**** is ephemeral
Like the era in a phone booth
Put a quarter up
E.T. Phone home
Kids today never had to
fear that dial tone...
Today to yesterday
I want to burn
More than anything
I need to feel and fuel
My own fire that
I know is my core
Ignite me
So I can ignite you
Watch it spread
I promise
You will enjoy it
I want to burn
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