When I was a kid
I remember watching the comedy channel
Not in my own house, mind you
My parents were too smart for that
When I was a kid hanging out at my friend's houses watching the comedy channel
I remember
A slogan
Time.  Well.  Wasted.
And I remember thinkin'
"Oh!  Yea!  I like that!  Imma sit here a lil' longer!"
I was just a boy at the time and that's as far as the thought got
About a half-hour later we decided time was better wasted building gigantic, man-eating snowmen.
Eventually I went home
I wasted some time arguing with my parents about schoolwork, ate a bowl of cereal and wasted the next 8 hours in a comatose
I woke up to waste the next several years of my life figuring out how to waste the NEXT several years of my life
Somewhere in there someone told me I should do what I feel called to do so I wasted time waiting for a sign of some kinda magicy, Jesus voodoo
While I was waiting I wasted time reading Ecclesiastes and learned about what a waste of time it is to read Ecclesiastes
So I tried filling my time with all the things that weren't supposed to BE a waste of time but then I didn't have any time so I fell flat on my face on the edge of the vortex that is the human condition!
And I cried, "God!"
"Why do you waste your time with a foolish and selfish sinner like me?"
And the almighty, holy, infinitely incomprehensible, incredible God of the Universe replied
"Time.  Well.  Wasted."

Today I feel broken.
I'm carving up pieces of myself
offering them to everyone in an attempt
to make myself forget and help them

Today I'm getting smaller.
As I offer more pieces and he,
Who usually puts them back,
Takes them without question

Today I am sad without reason
Today I want him to know that
Today I cannot seem to show it
Never am I able to say it


Today I am a closed book
I expect him to read me
I cannot seem to yield my pages
I cannot open myself

Today I am a closed book
Today I am sad without reason
Today I am getting smaller
Today I feel broken

Today... depression.

There are little things;
Herbal Tea Lattes,
The full sound of my Mother's piano,
Long, waining summer days,
The way his brow creases when I let go.

Things so fully beautiful;
The colour of the sunset on a smokey summer night,
The filtered warmth of a walk through the trees,
The words of my soul printed in black and white,
The look in his eyes when I'm all he sees.

That all it takes is a moment;
The warmth of his skin on mine,
The sound of a poem smooth on your tongue,
The truth of emotion you feel with each line,
The whisper of air words pull from his lungs.

There are little things,
Things so fully beautiful,
That all it takes is a moment,
To fall in love completely.

It only took a moment,
To love you this completely