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you think...
that i don't possess the capacity
to **** you?
that i'm a: once in a blue
moon idiot?
you keep tugging that
the rubber-band long enough...
and one day it will snap...
i like sitting on a window-sill
akimbo like a turk...
        long into the night
breathing the cold air of
winter...
       i find it staggering that
people think someone might
be not prone to the intelligence
quotient, without
the risk to actually killing them.
     i mean killing them,
discarding them like garbage into
a ditch,
of course i don't invoke
cannibalism, a ritual, a purpose
for the dead body...
        i mean: garbage,
pigeon **** is worth more.
        people never balance the equation
that you might be intelligent
enough to incubate a Cain...
         because they deem you a helpless
idiot who can do no harm...
it's quiet funny to watch...
         but then it's funny seeing them
teasing you, testing you,
  you just wait... and pounce! lynx with
a human larynx!
               but then again human tribulations
are so stiff that they're beyond dead...
   and mind you: the boredom
of hierarchy...
                     it really does become
so much easier to cut the head and *******
prior of someone who does't map out
the koran with his forehead...
scraping the divan with wrinkle as
his understood claim of a signature...
             first come
the people who underestimate your
intelligence with the capacity to ****...
           you can't be a ******* if you
can comprehend killing someone...
   the first sign of being a recipient of
beyond rubric intelligence is the comprehension
toward this transgression...
              as taboo goes...
                      you have to comprehend
this ******* to its most exactness...
     shame if you deal the wrong card,
and maim rather than **** the thing of interest...
you really have to have enough
competence to comprehend killing someone...
as best instructed: it's better to find
the feminity in that diabolical artefact...
to wind the womb among the testicles...
          who am i?
         i just stated that for anyone to
have any intelligence, they can comprehend
the potential of killing someone...
that's the basis of intelligence...
   killing someone encompasses enough
emotional content to extrapolate feeling
inadequate: jealous...
           but only when you're successful in
murdering someone...
            i hope your people suffer 100 times over
to suit my smile... i hope to
**** your mother in hell....
                                     it's beautiful like this...
i know to whom i write...
                   like you inclined me to deserve
a fact: that your mother shaves the ***** hairs
roosting on your father's back before
she decides to use it for a scrub while she slumbers...
oh i hope for death, like a god...
i wait for death like a god...
                  i wait, for death, like a god...
all i can see before me is men
       waiting for being aged 90 and then death-bound...
i wait for death like a god...
i can't wait for it like a man...
i wait for death like a god...
   i lost the humanity in me to await death like a man,
pickling my youthful and foolish enterprises
   into vitamin pills and other rainbows;
i wait for death like a god;
                    i can't wait for death like a man,
i can't wait for death with an expectation
to live to 90...
   i can't wait for death like a man...
i wait for death like a god, like i'd be standing
at the altar...
   i wait for death like god, like i'd be
awaiting marriage... or the haven sleep, should
the tale of immortality be untrue...
  i wait for death like a god...
                  and in my wait,
i have nothing worth describing as man,
or napkin, or a spare tire...
                                   hear! hear the Finnish mermaids!
there i sleep... elsewhere only custard of
traffic, and the waking world of civilisation
being remindful of its own lack of sleep...
  i wait for death like a god...
and yes, i'm competent in the rhetoric of euthanasia...
i know where Switzerland is...
             i'll die rich enough to pay for
a 5000 quid death...
                    i wait for death like a god...
i'll take the restaurant napkin with me,
    i'll take the handkerchief with the snot with me too!
   well, whatever trivial comes
trivial deserves noting, after all: newspapers
have the genre: tabloids... why should
i feel unable to note down some tabloid
                   realisations in my short life?
Hold my heart close,
It believes it's sleeping,
But you sung it to insanity.
Now it's too dead,
To realize that it's screaming.
Sweet was the taste when the end came...
but bitter was the ending.
In a life filled with laughter and Joy,
in the end only the wind cackled back.
 Jan 2017 Brian Foote
Rory Nunn
I started with an early climb
Left morning's waking yawn behind
And high above a sleeping street
As Tuesday's heart began to beat
The morning broke clean open
And I saw the sky torn wide

The brittle ceiling of the Earth
Recalled an oyster shell at first
The pearl horizon, silver pink,
Entranced me as I stooped to drink
The splendour of the morning down
With all its healing peace

I let the first light warm me through
And shared the incandescent view
With others perched in eyries
All along the city's edge
We watched the rolling world unfurl
And offered silent thanks
While far below the tangled flow of commerce burst its banks
your voice reaches me
how it soothes my spent mind
caresses and convinces me
we are joined for all time

we own the ocean's distance
it is you that I can see
are you only in my thoughts
an elusive fantasy?

yet here on this shoreline
we absorb, we feel
this island of dreams
where our love becomes real

daybreak approaches
the Sun beckons me
as your voice like a ghost
washes over the Sea

but I shall return
in the stillness of night
to rekindle our dream
to recapture our light
Deepest thanks to my dear friend; Alisa...who has always been there to listen, to help and above all...to be my friend! Love you!
 Jan 2017 Brian Foote
Day
3110
 Jan 2017 Brian Foote
Day
11 days, I spent in grey hospital socks
wandering halls bare, not even clocks
17 girls, all torn and broken inside
opened our wrists, drank cyanide
"behavior heath", but we knew was psych
held wandering souls, all pale and ghostlike
sat in a circle, we shared and we cried
of times we stole, drank, smoked and lied
stories of ****, abuse and pain
somehow all one and the same
different faces and different lives
but most chose to end it with knives
but failure brought us all to this place
to learn a new name, gain a new face
fed us some pills and watched how we'd do
if we'd scream and suddenly turn blue
but only a few continued to fall
and theirs are the saddest stories of all
my heart broke each night as I sat and heard
one of the girls minds became blurred
still even now, I shed a tear
for every lost soul, that we never hear
Recently went to an intensive inpatient behavior health center after a major panic attack and breakdown. I was suicidal and was diagnosed with major depression. This experience, really changed me and opened my mind so much. More to come . I give thanks for this site for giving me a positive way to cope. You all are amazing. <3
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