"'Mom, I'm tired.."
I said, as I walked slowly towards her
My arms weighing me down
Hanging by my sides, T-shirt no sweater

"Go take a nap sweetheart"
She replied in a sweet, soothing tone
Wish I had said something more
Cause where I'm going, there isn't a phone..

I've withered and got down to my goal
It's a shame more people didn't realize,
No one took it serious enough
I never felt like I was the right size

I couldn't feel anymore neither happiness nor pain
If this is what it took then I'm glad the job is done
I loved you all so much so please forgive me
But I think this nap will be my last one

To the beholder such beauty is heavenly.
A godly product of nature,
as enchanting and majestic as
the flowers or a morning frost.
To the beheld in such worship is frippery.
A biased vision of allure,
as manipulated and contorted as
a dream or a narrative device.

After the dust settled,
the mess tidied;
they ate peacefully.

With every knot the brain ties,
we become hunched and tense.
We become tight and sore.
Fury gives way to agitation and we collapse.

The knot constricts our movement,
until it is laboured and slow.
Until it is stuttering and resistant.
Agitation gives way to pain and we cry out.

Knots can be tied from every angle,
secured by work or home.
Secured by people or person.
Pain gives way to tiredness and we succumb.

They say it takes a long time to untie a simple knot.
Clear thought makes it tame and pliable.
Clear thought makes it limp and loose.
Tiredness gives way to breath and freedom.

The tea cup touched my lips.
I drank;
peace rei(g)ned.

I know the road back
But I still get lost.
So many twists and turns,
Blind alleys and stop signs.

I know the roots of strongest tree
Can become tangled.
Constrained by my thoughts,
Inadequacy and obstinacy.

I know the fear of dates
On the calendar.
Reminders of my despair,
'Bravery' and breaking point.

I know the vacant feeling
Of slow detachment.
Sitting in pain and staring,
Crying and collapsing.

I know this time of year
April Fools Day.
The body slowing down,
Remembering and revisiting.

I know the road back
But I still get lost....