there is nothing sweet about disguise
there's only that distracted surprise
at the blue and yellow hue
of bruises around my heart
tears burn as chillies do
my stomach chewed up
like the bubblegum you used
to stick that lovenote to the wall
the heat of summer made it fall
so you stuck it under my desk
but wood burns, you know,
nails rust and memories turn to dust
and oh! there comes a little wind
and there you go, unpinned.

Reach toward the light..
It kills. Little wings told me so.
Dead moths inside my lampshade
Made me aware that that's
where moths go to die.
And what of Angel's?
Do they not fly toward the Light?

Shifting perspectives
7cm from dying
Quivers as it quavers
7seconds
From flying
Sorry where were you
When I was trying to
Fry that perfect egg?

Black screen.
My computer
suggests System Resume.

Enter Windows.
Enter the Mind.
Enter Internet.

Which rabbit hole
do want to enter, Alice?
How far do you want to go?

Seeing through windows,
see it for what it is.                                  
Travelling down rabbit holes,
come up for air!

Computer is Me
and the internet, We.
This is a strange new era
that bears resemblance
to something that we are
already familiar with..

Change.

In the gardens of paradise
We ate figs from the tree
That gave us shelter
And we swam in the water
that gave us nourishment

We crafted little horses
From wood as Gods smiled
in encouragement

Our horses would take us far
From gardens of perfection
And daily introspection

Not sheeple blindly believing
In something we couldn't see
But people with purpose
And curiosity

Manes billowing in the wind
As we ran..
Away from captivity
Into the wild unknown
Toward our destinies
Toward our freedom
Toward ourselves

Then, when we were
Adam and Eve,
We were expected to believe
But now we are free to be
What we choose to be
And we do so knowingly
Lovingly
Consciously
Aware of karma and consequence
We choose our own destiny.

Once i thought I knew something
and then knew nothing at all
Climb the wall or break it
fly on wing or fall
Somewhere in between
I've heard that balance is in tow
Something about ducks
being neatly in some row
Evades me, this enlightenment
pervades me does the doubt
Essentially there's always something
that we do without.

Demon
why do you choose me
to chew upon
I was Cinderella once
until you sliced my hair
with the blade
that cut Snow's heart out,
Rapunzel staring blindly
bleeding from your eyes.

I hunger for you
like a wolf whose moon
howls back and that
is where I am..
In the path of light
that you cast.
Raise the mast
I am setting sail
In search of you.
Blue moon meandering
Under light of star shine
You will be mine
One way or another
You will be a part
Of me and I,
I will be your destiny.

Fix yourself
Before you try
To fix the world
Put a bandaid on
And let it heal.

This isn't working for me
this gaining of pain
this that comes
with the gathering of years
my body is not responding
the way I wish it to
- a jump on a trampoline
- a fall on the rocks
Both knees scream in defiance
of my youth
and it frustrates me
when people say,
You are not a child anymore..
What are we but overgrown children
waiting for an adulthood that
seizes the day and shrugs childhood
off of its shoulders
like boulders needing to be overcome
I will remain young in my heart
as my body becomes a bag of bones.

Flounder not, little bird
know you that you have wings?
Fly!
Lift those mighty, crooked things
let tension subside
into the joyride of climbing
undulated skies
Let go of things that bind you
and allow yourself to rise, arise!
Albeit in your mind it is as real
as what surrounds you
you are bound to nothing
but that upon which you linger.

Amber's glow sits low on the horizon
lends a golden aura to the fowl
that sits basking on the wall
lone cat prowling through wet grass
nose shining as it does its feline dance
winter tiptoes quietly into my room
and breathes cold air onto warm skin
and as hatchlings take flight
I crawl from my nest and get dressed
step into my shoes and jump...
Sink or swim. Fall or fly.

You unravel me
as we travel down
these highways of love
Quite unexpected,
this flight, this dove
It has flown deep
from the heart of me
into the unknown
and in spite of my fears
I will own this part of me
that is you.
Set you free, bird.
Fly true.

tumbling over toes
i find my foot in my mouth
more often than i would like
can't take some things back
they stick like bubblegum
blows blows blows
bubbles popping reminding me
that i said the wrong thing again

I searched for you by daylight
and found nothing but snow
I called for you by moonlight
and was answered by a crow
It said 'sssshhhh, be still, now
as you tend to your heart.'
Where have you been, friend?
I promised to walk with you
until the day's end
but felt your hand slipping...
I held on and you let go
and now I'm not sure where to go
without your footprints in the snow.

Ghosts inside
of the machine..
Is it memory or dream?
Having been there,
having seen something
in that space
that is never as it seems,
just somewhere in between.
Somewhere, somehow
it all exists and yet
does not.
Sometime, somehow
we got caught up in the dream
And forgot about the Now.

Thinking thoughts
is a freedom that we have
The notion of
"we don't need no education"
A bird in a cage
sees not the space beyond
and thus does not
want to fly there
but take her on your shoulder
dont try to hold her
and she will fly
fly further than you
ever could have told her
and she will return.
She will have burnt her wings
in the face of the Sun
but She will come back
and do it all again.
For you.

What do you need eyes for
if you're not looking?
Why have ears if you don't listen?
How strange to have
a conscience that you don't use?
What use is a tongue if used to abuse?
Sense the surreality of your own dream
and wake up, come to your senses
and look around...

Hanging on
to the edges
of the canvas
loose threads
unravelling
my picture

I've been wondering
What makes you
As you are
I can't quite fathom
What's your homing star
Can't give you your freedom
Won't give you a cage
It's seems you don't know
what you want
At this stage
See, I can't help you
While you're on the mend
I can only hold your hand
And be here as your friend.

whispers the wind on deaf ears
sleeping monsters lie at the bottom
of silent oceans
deep damp depths defy deference
to the deities of the dark
swallowing water as a bird gulps air
the shadow below unfurls
and stretches itself out
embraces the tidal wave
that gives birth upon earth
to a new kind of monster
( ? )

we come from a watery womb
and much as there is love
my god,
we have some monsters amongst us.

take back the light,
monsters.

come back to the Light.

This little bird flew to heaven
and that little bird flew to hell
God was away
but the Devil was waiting
for a penny in the wishing well
Some little birds went to paradise
while others simply fell
God be scarce and the Devil be willing
to play another game of dice.

There’s a song in my soul
That I try to control
But it won’t be directed
Or infected by me
My higher self singing
and flinging me
forwards into the light,
with my dreams in sight
There - where I am awake,
with glimmer and gleam and
in sync with my being.

Dancing
in slow motion
with that other
version of you.

Not just about heart
Sometimes
It's a stomach thing.
One feels it there,
pounding away.

Unborn wings
Emerging..
The birth of a something
Pressure at your back
As wild birds sing

Everything's right with
believing that
the good in you
is the God in You.

you left a smudge
of blue in your wake
footprints from skywalking
coming down from the clouds
and onto the ground
takes some effort
unstrapping those helium balloons
from yourself was a weight lifted
from your shoulders
fly not over boulders but
push on through,
feeling you feet on the ground
you're a hound not a bird
and it's a dog's life

Wild winds were at her back.
She said, "Jack, get me outta here!"
So Jack took her to the mountain
flung her soul into the fountain,
said Goodbye Girl.
Welcome, Woman.

Hello, my friend.
Its been a while since
we touched base
since we kissed
the face of sunshine
and danced together in the rain..
But the end is inevitable,
isn't it?
We can bend the rules
and shift the goalposts again
but there comes that time
when we have to let go
and we have to say goodbye.

While it snows
in Norway
they look for summer
in Africa,
the Motherland -
there where the great lion
will eat you.

when i tasted your salt
the sea in me arose
i am an ocean unto you
i will water your gardens
you will be my budding bloom
and i will be your groom.

Saltwater on the fingertips
That wiped your tears away
They water your garden
These experiences have sewn you into the ground
Roots grown and unbound
You merging with you
let it grow and let it be
A giant swaying tall tree
Robust in a wind that has
Others pinned to walls of
Sleepwalking faces
We are awake around here
We suffer no illusions
Nor delusions
Because we are Alive.

Let’s have some tea
Says Alice
Let’s you and me
Just be
For awhile with Silence
Return to ourselves
Be free
To be real again
Not scared to feel again
And willing
To heal, again.

Your eyes lit up the skies
Tonight,
Dark curtains
Torn open
by the light of you
Shining so brightly
Oh, what you mean to me.
Heart quickens
When you smile at me.

the whale is heavier in gold when dead
the tree worth more when planed into planks
the flower's so pretty but dies in the vase
when last did we stop to say thanks?

Cigarette in hand
he asks me for a light
I strike a match, watch
Smokey fingers dance
The air is thick tonight
Pregnant shadows huddle
In corners, waiting
Silver moon watches me from
A puddle at my feet
I jump aside toward the lamp
Heavy the night that falls
from me as I
Slip into the light
He splashes through the water,
Humming,
Smokey fingers trailing behind.

you,
wearing shoes
in the presence of
my bare feet.

The shape of my heart
Is an outline of you

smoke gets in my eyes
wetness watering the ashes
I rub it between my fingers
there's nothing left
it dissolves into my skin
everything I had, gone
the fireman's hose
waters the flames
fires do as they must
from ashes to ashes
and dust to dust
life will reemerge
they say,
a small green shoot
bending towards
the morning sun
and my tears
will make it grow
it will become a tree
and I will become me again.

You could change your name
Would this change you?
When an actor steps into their role,
are they not altered
as they become their character?
I think the same applies to a name.
There is power in a name.
I could be Chantell or Cassandra or Karmina
and each of these resonate
with a different aspect of me..
Chantell has insecurities, is bright but childlike,
Cassandra wears dresses, sings and heals the world
Karmina rides bike, wears boots and takes no ****
There are times when I am one of them
and times when I am all of them,
keeping in balance the multiples of personality
that exist within one being.
Are we not, after all, One?
I am, that I am.
The meaning of this being that
in spite of being oneself,
one is also every other self.
A reflection of an evolving God
because As above, so Below.

I’m not looking at you funny.
I just.. Well,
(eyes downcast)..
I’ve told you
All if this before.

if i thought
the hardest thing
was moving on
then leaving
would be surmountable
to death defying

Loud’s a form of silence
That speaks,
Especially when you’re listening.
Mud and blood on your ankles
Stand up keep up
Keep on keeping on
Return to the river, strong,
Like tides on high, striding by
With your head held up to the sky
Yours ears cocked and listening
To the sounds of silence
To the sound of that inaudible sigh
That escapes from under your breath

I sense the start
of something new..
Reality has become surreal
and you have come
to steal my heart.
My will is in the process
of being shattered by you
and being rebuilt around
the notion of you
and though I should resist
I stand in awe
of what I have allowed
you to do.

Words are music
without rhyme nor reason
put into perspective
are like the changing
of the season..
Reading is an art
that sometimes gets lost
But writing is a calling
that comes with heavy cost
It reminds me, sometimes,
of the carrying of the Cross.

When you
Look at me
I feel electrified
Almost terrified
I know just what
Would happen
If you happened to me  
If I had to
Happen upon you
I would be utterly
Absolutely intoxicated
By you.

there is a possibility
that this space
between you and I
does not exist and that
we truly are One
that indeed we are
our own ancestors
reaping seeds
that we've already sewn
consequences shape life
and as gods in training
we must learn how to sculpt.

Restless is the mind
fumbling through unfamiliar spaces
How did we get here?
How did we end up
tumbling in a washing machine?
Is this a cleansing?
Wherefore art my Ark?

What is wrong with you
Wrong with me
I try to talk with you
But you won't hear me
Bash my head
Your head
Against a brick wall
Blood being evidence
Of the irrelevance
Of it all

So i spoke
and was arrested for my words..
But in the beginning there was only the word
so lets arrest God for having spoken.
It was Him who spoke the original thought
that put this wheel into motion.
I am a mere driver of this wheel,
as are you.
So let's drive this vehicle of life
into the sunset and whisper words of wisdom,
let it be, let it be.

When i separate myself
From myself
I find that I am both,
Yet neither,
Something of an alien
In search of itself.

Is it too much
to I cry if I'm glad?
Is it ok  
to say when I'm sad?
Cry baby cry
It's just tears in the sky
Cry baby cry
just some sand in your eye.