Paint me reckless,
with dotted eyes of unencumbered possibility,
rouged blushes of flushed athletic extremes,
paled hair that flows like waterfalls and broken valleys.

Dream me loving,
so that my gentle smile shines as bright as the waking sun,
my womanly embrace is as comforting as the silent moon,
eyes flash with consuming devotion, wide open and hoping for reciprocated picnics.

Curl me 'round the shadow of your doubt,
and I will be a voice of infinite confidence,
booming with the power of the earth as it spins on before and after,
the titled nonsense of nature, bringing you up to the skies before dropping you back into the hands of men.

Stamp me goodness,
with a golden halo of invisibility,
heroes shine of selfless deceptive gratitude,
blue quake of the ocean's roar, to sweep you away from dreams of darkness...

into the burgeoning belly of the hydra,
paint it homely,
and within its stomach will become yours.

I have spent eternity searching for the red string that ties us
Finger to finger,
Atom to atom.
Deeper than Mariana's trench
Higher than the atmosphere

Our love was something they told stories of
Too young to understand what heartbreak could ever be.
Made songs about the yearning we felt for one another
It was a fairytale.
A bedtime story.

My dad used to tell me
About dinosaurs and fables and kingdoms
All stuff that I left once I fell asleep
but
I still don't know if I dreamt our fate up
if we ever existed;
in the same vicinity ,
in the same lifetime,
in the same time frame.

Did i imagine the affection you reciprocated?
Or was what my father taught me true?
Getting too close would have it's consequences
He, the sun
I, foolish Icarus
Plunging head first into the sea
no lifeboat in sight.

You're in love with her.
She's the kind of soft that makes the sun fall to its knees every evening just to get a closer glimpse.
She's everything that makes a boy believe in god.
How else could he be alive at the same time as her if he didn't?
The odds are too great for there to be any other reason that he gets to make her smile.
That kind of smile that's designed to melt boys like him that i've turned cold.
You thought I was her once.
Speaking of thoughts, do I ever cross your mind sometimes like you cross mine? Even if unintentional?
At night I accidentally love you like no time has passed.
I know it's just my unconscious mind, but while I sleep there's a version of you that loves me still.
You're a dream that I wish wasn't.
So it's the worst kind of accident you could say.
Maybe not accidental if gods real like you believe he is.
My dreams might possibly just be his way of saying "*******".

and now
i will sever the strings
that once tethered us together
with the pieces of me
that you shattered

i will forge a divide between us
deep enough to swallow
my hearts temptations
for i am eve
and you are my vice

i will tear apart continents
and demarcate the soil that stands between
our now sovereign feet
if it means the storms you contrive
will no longer wash away
the delicate foundations of myself

but
i am learning how
to escape the darkness
that once held me hostage

i am learning that
the deadened highs
from the mephitic lies
you breathed into my lungs
arent worth the crushing suffocation
that shadowed

i am learning to accept
that the loneliness that keeps me company
in your absence
is not evident of weakness
but the result of me instilling faith
back into my own two feet

and an assertion of the strength i have
to live on my own


x.

“Where are the happy poems?”
Was the question I was asked
And you know...
I search my mind thinking...
‘Have i ever met a “happy” poet?’
Ive only ever met
the ones that made you feel
The ones that go through trauma
The ones that keep it real
I really wanted to say...
“Sorry, I can only write
That of which I can relate”
But as per usual
I gave a generic answer
That the world has taught me to do
In the past
“It’s coming soon”
With a smile emoji contradicting
My very attitude
And as I sit back
And analyze the human race
I realize we are the only species
That need a PhD
In the debate
Of listening...
We have to be clinically diagnosed
In order to be heard
We have to prescribe a pill
So the lonely
Can conform to this world
Your depression is only accepted
When you have a verified check
“Suffer in silence”
Are the words
That continue
To **** me softly
Just like
“Take it how you want to I don’t care”
“Everyone has their own lives”
“I’m too busy”
I’m busy
I’m busy
I’m busy
“Korina you’re ******* clingy”
Not knowing that My “clingy”
Was clinging for dear life
Climbing from darkness
In desperate need to find the light ....
“Suffer in silence”
Were the words
I heard from my peers
friends and family
Who spoke before they listened
Who were too busy to loan an ear
“Suffer in silence”
When ignorance blocked their vision
I had to learn to understand them
Before they could ever understand me
Before I could ever understand me!
“Suffer in silence”
Was what suicide spoke
Russian roulette with Tylenol
And spin the the bottle with patron
“Suffer in silence”
When I asked for support
In goals that I seek
To create my own foundation,
Just to get left on “seen”
“Suffer in silence”
As I put out
My most dangerous thoughts
Demons stampeding through my brain
Fasting as I fought
“Suffer in silence”
Scrolling past “seek help” signs
And Call some
“speak to a stranger” hotline
“Suffer in silence”
As I gave my life to God  God... GOD
Thank GOD
I Don’t know why I’m here
But this sad lost poet
Was built from a girl who refused to share
My life with the devil
Refused that trip to hell
Refused to leave my baby girl
With abandoned tears
Suffer in silence ....
As many of you read these words and think
You’ve read liked and commented
And has no idea
That I was suffering
Till this very year...
Or maybe you knew...
And just didn’t care

time
was purely a four-letter concept with you

you made hours alone
discussing the universe and its secrets
feel like fleeting minutes

a year passed by
in an ephemeral glance

reality completely deliquesced
with the touch of your lips
and your love was marked as transitory

                                                     ­  ...but those eyes were infinite


x.