so i will collect ladders until
i can reach
and rearrange them

did you know that it only takes one
deformed cell to give you cancer and
i sometimes want to scream in the middle of a lecture
because i smoked that one cigarette in october
and what if i have cancer
and i wasted all the autumns, winters, and springs
of my life as a robot of the american dream
taking classes and making grades
and earning letters on a page
and if i die too soon from cancer
everything i’ve accomplished
will fit on an 8x11 sheet of paper.

How the hell
can someone love
to live
when my liver is
incapable
of living

How the hell
can you tell me
that there will be hope
after you tell me
I have 3 more months

How the hell
can
they
just
cry
when
I'm
literally
dying
inside.

Feeling sober in a drunk world
Contact to the unseen
Crowds oblivious
Things lurk in eye corners

Upsets and pain coat the streets
Like Graffiti of fear
My eyelids like glass
Consciousness more a nightmare

Panic in a busy town
To those who wear masks
Fake people
The modern monsters

Conversations like banshees
The sound resonates my head
Left numb to life
Body fatigued from the brain.

they jump up like dogs
to greet you
and they talk
and want attention
but i stay quiet
because i know the truth.
i know who you are:
youre an extention of something beautiful but you are ugly.

useless objects purchased
by sexless people.
objects they make love to
the only way they know how.
they bring neighbors
and ****** are spilled
from under dressing room doors
onto shoes designed for
this sort of marathon.

your new blouse: ******
your bracelet: true love

pharamone spray
in bottles smells
like commercials
selling eternal youth
and animal lust
which your body
used to sweat
onto a mattress
with no sheets
in an apartment
with no power.