you told me you'd always
be there waiting to catch me for when or if I was ready to fall.

i would look down
and see you with your
outstretched arms and unwavering eyesight set on me.

all this time you've been ready for me,
and so one day i jumped.
i jumped to and for only you.
and as i made my descent i looked down to see you.
and i did. see. you.

but you were running to catch someone else.
someone that was ready before me.

this was the day i had chosen to trust you with my love.
this was the day that you broke me in more ways than one.

you arrived too early and faltered and i arrived too late and shattered.

{d.f. | 11/29/17}

there's quiet on the wind
(no longer a breeze)
as though this whole curve
of the Earth
is holding its breath
waiting
for snow

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.

You told me that you loved me and I believed you
You told me I was your world and I believed you
You told me that I was the most beautiful girl and I believed you

You told me you were sorry and I believed you
You told me that I was nothing and I believed you
You told me that you loved me and I believed  you

Another year furls its petals, bedecking the world in orange and red and yellow.

The fresh apples picked and pressed,
the cider scent wafts up,
spectral cinnamon scents this season.

It is futile to delay summers parting,
Even now the kisses at dawn are cooler
The rays less direct the days growing shorter.

But it is a time of sustenance,
Gathered in labors, sustaining stores.
This season of togetherness,
Distinct flavors of allspice and nutmeg,
Pumpkin and sweet potato.
Feast and celebration.

As the living world recedes into the long sleep
I try to forget the hardships endured,
And dwell in the replay of your masterpiece day.
I compared you to various poets,
You laughed demurely,
I did not know how amazing, and precious
You were back then,
Green shoots still grew in my garden.
As autumn approaches absolute dominance
I think of the spring I fell deeply in love with you,
Your charms rained down on everything you touched
And then the sky cracked, and we fled together,
But the diligent one,
The one who knows treachery as the interior of her eyelid
Is tattooed with every manner of trickery,
She is magnificent in her cruelty,
A beautiful creature in her own right,
But a miserable wretch compared to you.
She wanted me, and she ripped me from your hands,
Like when she will rip you from my hands,
And so on until she has what she really wants.
You do not deserve such things.
You deserve more than this universe can provide,
Yet you ask, oh so much less.
Knowing that you will leave me
Is the falling of bright colored leaves.
Five shades of red, three shades of orange,
Mixed and blended yellows,
Exquisite multicolored rain.
My autumn has arrived.