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She opens her mouth to say the words
but no sound comes out
reaches to wipe away the tears
but her hands remain dry
tries to hide the scars
discovers they can't be seen
desperately wants to show the truth
only the mask is stuck
checks that no one recognizes her pain
finds that no one is watching
 May 2015 astrud hagong
Mishy Kim
Well, this is it.

The end.

I was excited for this part.
I dreamt of it.
I dreamt of me standing on the garden
Where the flowers had bloomed so bright
And the sun shining down on me
I had my chin held up high
And my shoulders wide.

But nothing goes my way.

I’m standing in the garden
The garden that was full of flowers and colors,
Now I see it covered with dead bodies and blood
I can feel the lost souls around me
Trying to find another body to feed on
Then I see a girl
I can hear her crying and sobbing
I run to her
She turns around when I reach her

“I remember you.
I was just like you.
I was you.
I am you.”
The girl said with her tiny, squeaky voice.


My body couldn’t move
My mind couldn’t process anything else
I wanted to say something
But I couldn’t.

“Who are you?” my voice trembled
“I don’t know.” She whispered.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“You brought me here.”


I raised my hand to touch her
She does it too.
When our fingers meet,
Memories came flooding back

What… is.. this..
I…. don’t… know.. what’s… going… on….


I find myself on my knees
In pain from those memories
She disappeared
I sit there and think
Oh, the love.
The happiness.
The Joy.
The Faith.
The pain.
The tears.
The scars.
I remember them now.

I remember telling a guy I loved him
And crying because he didn’t say it back
I remember the hugs that were so tight
That I couldn’t breathe but were so comfy
I remember the car rides back home
And we would laugh our stomachs off even when nothing was funny
I remember the paper works and the sleepless nights
I remember the stupid fights that I would have with my parents
I remember being so naïve and young that every guy was the best guy in the world.

Did all this lead me to this mess?
What did I do?
This was the end.
And I can’t change the end.
 May 2015 astrud hagong
Neen
Let me write my love
On every wall
I will paint entire
Cities with your name
Every metaphor a
Thinly veiled attempt
To describe the stars
In your eyes

Let me compose symphonies -
Conduct orchestras and choirs
To sing your praise
Every note an ode to
The way the moonlight
Caresses the curves of your face

Let me put brush to canvas
And I will command
Every hue
Every brushstrokes
To reveal the secret
Of your smile

And if you let me
I would dedicate
my entire life
To master every art form
If it meant I could accurately convey
The feelings you stir within me
I will run alongside
every highway
every route
to find you
in the next city
the next crossroad
the next nowhere
I will get lost
and you will too
only to find your home
in my arms
and I’ll find mine
in your heart

— The End —