The clock hits 5am
Im laying here looking at the glass next to me
its half full of the soda i have been drinking
this makes me think that maybe
there is more of a meaning to this saying
maybe that glass is me
half full and half empty
19 years YOUNG and living my dream
full of life with so much to strive for
full of passion and goals
full of ambition to be great in my future
full of thoughts and hope
full of wonder of life
19 years OLD and fighting
Empty from things that destroyed me
empty from people dragging me down
empty from people telling me i can’t
empty from trying so hard to just fail
empty from loosing what was important to me
The scaary part about being this glass
is that you never know when you might tip
spilling the remaining full you have
and becoming completely empty
But I’m still sitting here alive
half full and half empty
looking for that thing in life
that will take me as this glass
and take me for the full part
and accept me for the empty parts
sitting here thinking of the girl
who wants me for this glass i am
who wants to love the reasons I’m full
and take away the empty and fill it again
So won’t you take me
for this glass i am?

Write me a book,
Call it:
"All the Ways I Was Unable to Love You."
List the reasons
why it was all my fault
Tell them about
the impossible pedestal
you placed me on
Describe the way my hands shook
trying to put your pieces
back together,
and how I no longer knew
whose hands were bleeding
I never wanted to change you,
I just wanted to be enough
to fill your emptiness
But the the void became to deafening,
and with your brokenness suffocating me,
I used my last breath to say
"Im sorry."

*-I was always sorry for your mistakes

waves of calm take me over,
rippling through my mind, body, being

the pure, crisp water washes me clean
as I float on the surface

Oh! Teach me how to be relaxed so!
Are your waves like the choppy seas
in my own life? Or do you just try to
empathize?

Nonetheless, I do enjoy it,
being alone with only you and my thoughts
your encouragement letting me dive
into the deepest realms of my mind
that which I avoid in others company

True, you are silent; a mystery
Yet I feel that is what I love about you most

Oh, I could search
forever search this starry universe
through worlds without end.
Oh, I could search forever
till the ending of all days
and never find a love so warm and true.
Oh, so perfect in line and form.
Oh, how I find my life in you
in your heart and soul.
the perfect crown of creation.
Oh, how my love for you knows no end
and I am forever lost in you.
My every thought from my waking
before the early morning dawn
till I lay my weary head on my pillow
is of you!
Oh, how soul suffers a longing
for your soft arms and the caress of your lips.
My soul suffers beyond understanding and bleeds etheric tears
for want of you
the other half of my soul.
Oh, my life I give to you
every fiber of my soul is in your belonging.
Oh, when my mother rocked me so lovingly in my cradle
how little did I know
such an infinite loving and longing
for you awaited me
all of you
your face and form to fill my soul.
Oh, how I am powerless before my love of you!
Oh, how you could tear every fiber of my being
destroy me with a cruel and loveless heart
but I can only plead my love and longing for you
and set sail upon the sea
of your infinite heart and soul
to my utter bliss or woe.

My bedroom breathes, my lunch box talks.
My fingers bleed, my blanket walks.

I am a very satisfied young boy.
You can pretend I am your little toy.
I am

Alone.


Vacations sweep me off my bare feet.
Car tripping sun burns and sisters are sweet.

I move like a lead balloon rolled down the Pyramids.
You can't upset me or scratch me now.
I am

Alone.


Gripping the good of your shoulder, surprise.
I tried to tell you with looks in my eyes.
Forever I'm wanting you to call out my lies.

I'm a very ***** little boy, I've been punished by bigger girls than you.

Frightened, you turn, I blush, I look around.
Is there a friend of mine in this **** town?
Sisters are too close and Mom has to work.
Same as I'm used to, don't mind me, ****...
Happy
Bewildered
Lazy

Alone.

I want to know you...

If only I could let you go,
Then maybe I could see.
Why I ever thought,
That you could mean so much to me.

You never even glanced my way,
But still, you stole my heart.
I know that we can never be,
But I still don't want to part.

I think of you each night and day,
Though I know you think of her.
And even though I get that,
It never fails to hurt.

But, now I must make it stop,
For you will never know.
How much I really loved you,
For today, I let you go.

why, what's wrong?*

sometimes everything, sometimes nothing, sometimes i don't even know.  

depression shows up uninvited and makes a home in my chest.

I want you to be
the very last thing
my tongue tastes
so I can die
happy.

~mce