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Astraea May 2016
Stumbling on her new feet
A regular fish out of water
Wanting her brain and heart to meet
The former to talk some sense to the latter

Wistful for the melancholy seas
Nostalgic for those left behind
It is on land where uncertainty breaks free
A plaintive wail for those of her kind

Foreign land stretching afar
On pale limbs she has yet to adopt
How crashingly desolate will it be to explore
To make use of this magic she has yet to exploit

A wriggle of her toes
Jaw clenched in determination
She stands by the decision she chose
To search for the source of her affection

He's out there, she'll find him
No matter the stakes
She'll stand on her two feet
And wait as long as it takes
  May 2016 Astraea
Star Gazer
I need you in the way I need the sun's rays
I love you in the way I love the warmth of the sun
I love you in a way that the skies was held by the sun
I love you in the way that the clouds belonged in the skies
I love you with every light within me

But then what happens after the light goes out?

Then I will love you in darkness,
I love you with all of the beats of my heart
Because I don't love you for your looks
Nor
For what my sight may bring to me
But
I love you for you.
Astraea May 2016
The eyes are first to sparkle
To reveal boundless joy
The eyes shout euphoria from the very tops of every hill

The eyes are also first to glisten
Swimming in a salty pool
They blink and blink to hold them in but they won't always stay hidden

The eyes are the windows into the soul
They peer to see if it is broken
Or if it is still standing, resolutely strong and whole

The eyes can read a thousand lies
They peel back woven cloths
They offer a glimpse, a chance to check if anything is disguised

I keep my face turned away
My eyes fixed on something else
I keep my eyes averted just so I can avoid another's gaze

But when I do, when I hold
Your unwavering stare
Lightning bolts shoot through me, stirring deep and cold

A heightened awareness of every breath
Making sure to keep them steady
I keep up my end, never breaking, with all the courage I have left

Those eyes bore right into my being
A rawness fresh and apparent
Your eyes have now seen everything
I flinch, I sever the electric current
Opia is defined as the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
I've always found eye contact between two people to be intimate and unnerving and tend to avoid it when I can.
Astraea May 2016
Dusty drapes ripped to shreds
Pristine carpets now flecked with mould
Windy gusts blow through the windows
Time ticking, growing old

Pots and clocks shivering in the cold
A lone candelabra giving heat
Looming gargoyles' fixated glares
A petal falls, smelling sweet

He presides over a hollow husk
A castle once proud now disguised
Unkempt greenery peeking between cracked bricks
This new reality, he denies

Fearsome howls cut through the air
Echoing his fight so resolute
Torn canvas of family paintings
Reflecting the Beast's solitude
Astraea May 2016
Overgrown grass
On the path
Hidden by a sharp bend
Dank and dark

Grass underfoot
Well trodden and trampled
By countless shoes
A journey cut short and retreated

Mysterious hoots
They begin to beckon
Strained ears
Listening for a welcome

Clumps of foliage
Waving a greeting
Tickling the thorny thickets
Eager for a meeting

Dare I step forward?
Dare I choose this path?
Dare I make this choice?
What will become of me
?
The end of a milestone requires courage to take on another.
Astraea May 2016
With every crease
And every fold
I breathe a silent wish

Clumsy fingers
Stubby nails
They slip with every pinch

Paper crinkling
Fill my ears
My mind almost in a trance

The clock ticks 2
But I go on
The window's blackness at a distance

Smooth the paper
Pinch the edges
Imbue in them a fervent plea

I really hope
I really desire
For these stars to carry their spell
Out into the galaxy
Astraea May 2016
"When I grow up
I will be brave enough to fight the creatures
That you have to fight beneath the bed
Each night when you're a grown up"

Before I grew up
The creatures residing
Beneath my bed were
Crocodiles swimming
Fearless of the lava
Fiercely bubbling
Across my floor
Each night spent jumping
From light switch to bed

When I grow up
The crocodiles changing
Into thoughts
Incessant buzzing
The fiery lava
Slowly hardening
To form my mind
No amount of leaping
Able to protect
My feet from burning

When I grow up
Will I be brave enough to fight the new creatures
That I need to fight within my mind
Each night when I'm all grown up?



"When I grow up
I will be strong enough to carry all
The heavy things you need to haul around
With you when you're a grown up"

Before I grew up
The heavy things
I had to carry
My bag for school
Notes for filing
Hauled around with me
Spare clothes for changing
When I get messy
Joyously playing
Without a care
Or worry in sight

When I grow up
Bag no longer as heavy
As emotions all weighing
Down on my shoulders
Sentiments receiving
Tending to different orders
Spare faces for switching
My masks of skill
All for pretending
That I don't have a care
Or worry in sight

*When I grow up
Will I be strong enough to shoulder all
The heavy feelings that I need to hold within
My heart when I'm all grown up?
Quoted words are lyrics by Tim Minchin from the song When I Grow Up in Matilda the Musical.
Inspired by this song because it was so much more than a child singing those words. As it turns out they can apply for anyone of any age.
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