I have this fear that you will discover that I’m not as great.
I am strong, but I break.

All the women walk down the street,
All beautiful and petite.

I look down the street to stumble upon long slender legs and dainty feet,
Only to realize it is because she does not eat.

I see a distorted image constructed by society’s idea of beauty,
And I am no longer aware of my duty.

People are always trying to define you,
That is what makes us all so blue.

I will never be good enough,
Which makes life so much more rough.

All I do is cry,
But my tears are running dry.

I sit here with a blade to my arm,
It has gotten so bad I turned to self harm.

I will never be good enough for you.
And with that I bid you adieu.

As I close my eyes,
The room fills with my cries.

Society is eating me alive.
When did this depression arrive?

All I want to do is heal.
But nothing here is real.

Here’s to society for making me hate myself.
You can place your trophies up on your shelf.

You injected your poison into my mind.
Heaven forbid you be the least bit kind.

This is the real world, no glass shoe.
Do not fall into the hole and let society define you.

The smile of iceboxes annihilates me.
Such blue currents in the veins of my loved one!
I hear her great heart purr.

From her lips ampersands and percent signs
Exit like kisses.
It is Monday in her mind: morals

Launder and present themselves.
What am I to make of these contradictions?
I wear white cuffs, I bow.

Is this love then, this red material
Issuing from the steele needle that flies so blindingly?
It will make little dresses and coats,

It will cover a dynasty.
How her body opens and shuts --
A Swiss watch, jeweled in the hinges!

O heart, such disorganization!
The stars are flashing like terrible numerals.
ABC, her eyelids say.

I will follow you down the rabbit hole,
To see what can be found, but it wasn't
The fairy tale we were told, it was the
Dark side never seen light under the ground.

The rabbit was late for his execution,
They chopped off his head, it did roll
Across the ground. But the people and
Animals, they did hunger for more, so
A stew was made and his watch was
Sold for gold.

The mad hatter did hide in shadows,
Offering tea to those unsuspecting few,
And once they were in a sleep, he did
Bury them alive under the ground. He
Did a jig, when it was near there last
Breath and did whisper to the earth do
Not worry you are not alone there are
Many flowers buried around.

I walked on shaking you see for I had
Witnessed a serial killer, spiked tea
Handed out.

I meet a queen dressed in red, she smiled
And said do not worry girl your not my
Type, as she showed me around, then a
Room opened jars were neatly displayed
All around. In each I did see a beating
Heart, she said to me these are those that
Betrayed my trust all that is left is there
Beating hearts.

I ran through the court yard I ran across
The bridge, what twisted nightmare had I
Fallen in. I saw a caterpillar smoking a pipe,
What's up little lady fancy a ****, I asked
What it was that had him chilled out so much,
He spoke that he smoked the mushrooms
Scattered about.

I asked what were the bones scattered about,
Some on other mushrooms, others scattered
On the floor around. He said the mushroom
Is good, but to relaxed to care about eating
And things, and with that he blew in my face
As my head hit the floor I was in outer space.

I woke with a fright as my dress was up, and
Breath I could feel as I looked under, nothing
I could see. Then a grin appeared, then a mouth,
Then this knotted looking cat appeared looking
Up my dress trying to lick me out. What are you
Doing I screamed out why fish I could smile as
It licked its lips I was damp and grossed out.

I booted it once and twice in the mouth, this
Is the last ***** you'll lick as my heel crushed
Its skull not smiling now.

I had entered a mad land, not a fairy tale but
A twisted version so true, as I had to find a
Way out, then the white queen did come to
My rescue, to her palace I hid out, sniff this
My dear, don't worry its just to relax you out,
A needle she pulled and injected her self, then
Blood  dripped from her nose and her mouth.

I screamed, she looked up and said I am the
white which, ******* is my power then
her heart gave out. needle in her arm blood
dripping on her gown of white, I ran out but
ran in to a wall and knocked my self out.

I woke again to find my self in my bed, was this
All a dream that world I thought about, then the
Friend I did follow came in to my room, I shouted
Out where were you when I feel In the hole, and
Then a knife did appear though his chest, as the
Mad hatter said you thought you could escape
No one is truly safe when they fall down into
The dark place deep under ground...

Peering through a wasp's wing
at shadows on the wall
Hear the whispered whimper
echo down the hall
Glass thump of bone and feathers
against the bedroom window
Motes of darkness floating
to air a moldy winnow
Creak of standing knees
rise in opioid haze
To wander past the shadows
and sniff of death's bouquets.

r ~ 6/11/14

When I die, dear Mother
don't give my body away
to science.

I'd rather have it given away to poetry.

I want people to cut me open
and observe
how my bones were riddled with
melancholic verses of joyful pasts.

They have to see
the scarlet of my blood was the hue
I stole from the sunsets of
wishful thoughts.

Dear Mother,
give my body away
to the art of writing:
for they have to look past
everything they have ever learned.

They must know
of how much I loved and I lost,
and how that made the twine of my ribs
a story to tell.

What is it with society
it can't leave girls alone
to be the way they want to be
they have to **** and moan...

"Now this one she's too skinny
with a blatant lack of ***
legs stolen from flamingos
and arms like two matchsticks.."

"Now this one's far too chubby
observe her thunder thighs
see her wobble as she's walking
it's clear who ate all the pies.."

"Now see the tattooed freakshow
flesh tunnels, garb of black
in burly boots and trenchcoat
she must be taking crack.."

"and what of lil Miss sunkissed
with her streaky perma-tan
who dresses like a two bit *****
but never keeps her man.."

A war on flaws is raging
as media fuels the flame
mixed with the tongues of gossips
it gets stronger everyday
we're taught to judge a person
by looks and shape alone
regardless of their inner selves
their talents, dreams and goals
It really is a worry,
to watch our young girls grow
bowed under weight and pressure
with self esteem so low.

So tell them that they're beautiful
it's not too much to ask
and please be sure to tell them
that the media's an ***!