You left me with ears full of lies and a shattered heart. You told me you'd never leave, and now you're gone. You said you loved me. You said she was just a friend. That she wasn't even attractive. I knew you liked her before you knew, and you tried to hide the fact that you took her to every schoool dance this year that you went to. I tried to pretend like I didn't notice. You pressed me into walls and couches and fences and kissed me till I couldn't stand, sunk your teeth into my lip during our fights, and swore at me for being stupid before swearing you'd never leave me alone again, because I really do need you and I do a lot of stupid things without you. I know I wasn't good enough. You took her to the place you said you would propose to me at. She wears your jacket everywhere, either because she really likes it or because she breaks the heart of every guy she dates and got ****** in the practice room at school and you really don't want to end up like the guy you stole her from. I hate her face and I don't mean to, but she knew about us and she still ripped you from my chest. I know I said a lot of venomous things to you. I believed you when you said you wanted to marry me. When you got on one knee and asked, I said yes. Clearly, you've forgotten that. I wonder if you're going to marry her now. Yes, it probably seems I moved on fast. I was kissing girls and boys and swapping love notes with saliva and telling someone new I loved her within weeks, but we both know how she is and neither of us meant it. I'm with a new boy now, one that's happy with me and doesn't constantly talk about his first love and lie to me about some other girl. He's mine and I'm his. But you hurt me a million times. You hold her hand inches from my face or put your arm around her like you used to do with me. You shoved me aside, literally, to run to her and throw your arms around her. You are a senior and you graduated yesterday. Well, good. I hope I never see your face again. And within a month of school starting, she'll have replaced you with some other guy.

I'll laugh.

I wish you could be here to feel my heart flutter when I think about you
Funny, because I hardly know you, but I still wish to be in your arms.
Arms which I've ever felt.

You're an enigma to me; mysterious yet captivating,
and I want to solve you.
I want to pick up your pieces and put them together like a jigsaw puzzle.
I want to see the picture they make when they come together,
and cry when I have to take it apart put the pieces back in the box.

I want to fall asleep thinking about you, and get a text message that you are thinking about me too.

I want to hold your hand and trace the lines on your palm, The heart line and life line, and laugh when yours and mine match.

I want to lean in close and whisper secrets only we know
and you'll whisper back that you agree.

I want you to mess my hair up.

I want my mother to be suspicious when I come home wearing your sweatshirt and not mine.

I want to lay out in the grass together watching the clouds with headphones in, listening to Green Day because I know you like them.

I know that much about you.
I know your eyes are brown and dark
and your mother thinks you are gorgeous.

I know your speech slurs when you get excited and start talking fast.

I know you tease me, and I think you like me too, but I don't know that for sure.

I know you have a silly ring of hat hair when you leave work, and I hate it but I love it too.

I know I recall all these things about you to write this poem, and I'm smiling as I think about you.

I wonder what you are doing right now, not this, for sure, you're probably playing Xbox with your friends and thinking about graduating in two weeks.
But not me, I'm thinking about you, funny, I know, because I really hardly know you, but maybe that's okay, maybe one day I will know something about you.

Technically, we are all dying.
We'll die eventually, in 80 years, in a month, in a day.
We all die.
Truth is, not all deaths are equal.
That homeless man on the street?
He died yesterday.
Not a single soul mourned.
But that famous actor who died because of a drug overdose?
Yeah, millions mourned, though they did not know him.
Some deaths hurt you more than other deaths.
Just like how his death hurt me.
He didn't die per say, but, he died on the inside.
That killed me too.
Eventually everyone dies.
Everyone will just be a memory and after that, nothing.
But I don't want to just be a memory.
I don't want to be nothing.
I want to impact lives.
I want to stay alive in the work I have done.
But.
Everyone will be a memory.
Just like how you will forget about this poem five minutes after you read it.
One day the earth will forget me.

i wish i were holding her hand for a reason other than to hurt you.

and i want to apologize for not loving you like i should have, but for the record *you don't love me either.

Sitting in a corner all alone
Refusing to talk and feeling cold to the bone
I have isolated myself from people
To keep safe from all the bad and evil
But this isn't really me

I'm driving all my friends away
And I know they'll stop trying one day
I'm alive but I'm barely breathing
But I know this isn't really me