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3:11 am / The 23rd of May

I don’t remember the exact moment I realized I had fallen in love with you.

But I just remember holding your hand under the stars and realizing how much it was going to hurt when I would have to let it go.
 May 2015 Any present moment
CD
when i was small and delicate
my parents were so worried
they grew up quite the pessimissts
and panicked in a hurry
so when I swallowed a firefly
their grabby hands and tight faces
thought called out 'will she die?'
they opened up my mouth and poked around in the dark places
they had such an uptight lifestyle
however, i was the opposite
the firefly i swallowed was shining through my smile.
i havent stopped smiling since
I always die before we sleep,
a minute more in
which to keep you in my sight
a moment longer in your light.
I always die before we sleep
the way in which the deep night falls
as darkness calls me and I sink
into your eyes
I think that everybody dies
at least once but sometimes more
or what is this life of loving for.
New life takes root in ashes of the old
and older soil assists all life in their survival,
the soil having seen generations birth and
thrive then die
only to return as aid to the soil's assistance
as it has and always will endure.

Life will wither past its fleur
but soil remains forever more
holding space for life.
The trails of woe and agony
are not new to me
because every step you've taken
I've taken too, as I I follow you
and when you're  down and out
it's my hand on your chest
checking your heart beat
pressing against you to ensure
your not alone
But your last bout of indecision
lasted more than a week
Your withdrawal from the daily
works, retreating to places
where you could not speak
left us all to go on our way
Living day by day without
your presence, without your
Love, without acknowledgement
We moved on
I know rising from a coma
can be, simply, an astounding feat
but those that you try to engage with
have moved their feet, everyday
You can't just arise and say
Hear me!
For your silence every day previous
left us impervious to hurt
Perhaps a gentle reminder
we were not forgotten in your
delirium would better serve
You were never forgotten,
for a single moment
But to you, in your mind
*We were...
Living and Loving a long term PTSD Anxiety Depressive... I'm embarrassed to say,  sometimes, I get frustrated :(
Sweet aroma drifts,
restlessly along the shores,
waiting loves return.
A swirling darkness
captures and holds
our paths in time
constant changes
our senses perceive
but on occasion
time stands still
time enlarges and
a new substance
of being arrives
containing the path
the darkness
and time
no..not containing
the new substance
is all...
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