How were you able
To convince yourself
You're so good
When you were the monster
In all of my nightmares

Nothing can be as deep
As a talk over a cigarette
And cup of coffee.

Have you ever seen them getting along without you and you just break a little?
Once they told you that they'd die without you and you believed them.
Being so manipulated into love, you believed them.
But there's that same part of you that always knew it would happen like this.
You were blind and you let **** slide when you should have held them accountable and left long ago.
Yet you stayed and waited.
You waited for them to realize they were hurting you.
Waiting to prove that your love was enough for them to realize.
Waiting.
And waiting.
But you've become so obsessed with the thought of someone just holding you in their arms like you mean the world
You forgot what being truely loved, felt like.
Honey, even after you found the strength to say it was over there's still that part of you that's still waiting for them.
And that's why when you see them smile in a photograph it hurts so much.
Because your waiting for them to beg at your feet for your forgiveness.
Because they became a part of who you were.
So you're still waiting.
You've moved on but a part of you is still waiting.
Preying on the fact that you were "the one" for them.

*******, you're delusinal.

Once a glass is broken
It won't hold water the same.
And a heart doesn't hold love the same
Once it's been ripped to shreds.

The raindrops on my windowpane
Were the tears I used to cry for you.

The raindrops on the sidewalk
Fell as violently as our romance did.

The raindrops on your face
Masked the tears falling from your eyes.

The thunderclaps disguised my screams.

The lightning illuminated my way
Out of the darkness you put over me.

Eventually, I'll be able to process what happened to us.
But until that time comes I'll keep crying.
And I'll keep coping.
And I'll keep screaming.
And wishing you never touched me.

Because you were the worst rainstorm I could have imagined.
Why you chose me to destroy, I don't know.
I guess,
Like during Katrina
My walls weren't enough to keep the water away.

And now I'm stuck with the damages.
Because you were the human version of Katrina
And I was New Orleans

Cry a river and
No-one will ever bother
To swim in its depth.

Do you even know how hard it was for me?
To put away the liquor and pipes
For the love of Christ I can't even begin to tell you how awful it was before you.
I can't even begin to tell you how many nights I stumbled home.
How many mornings I woke up asking what happened the night before.
How many nights my roommate asked how ****** up I was as I laughed and told her how badly I wanted cookies.

Now I'm not saying **** ****** me up that bad
But I may have taken the things that numb me a little too far:
Drinking till I can't remember,
Smoking until my frowns are smiles,
Puffing on cigarettes until I cough up a lung.
What doesn't **** me makes me stronger, right?

I couldn't continue my preaching higher than cloud nine or drunker than a man with nothing left to lose.
But for some unknown reason you gave me the courage to quit the liquor.
And Im glad you stopped me, otherwise the next year was gonna be brutal because AA is for quitters and momma never raised a quitter.

I may not have alcohol.
I may not have Mary Jane
But I do have you.
So you wanna go smoke a joe?