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 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
oh
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
oh
if i confide in you
i know that you will chide me
find blame in me
for what happened
that hurt me

so in time i learned
to trust no one
and to hide in a
dark closet corner
where i won't be seen
cowering or choking
on my screams.
 Dec 2020 ghost
Parker
seeing things
 Dec 2020 ghost
Parker
i thought i saw you standing there, in my room.
but when i turned on my light it was just a chair with a jacket thrown over.
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
fawned
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
i wish i could
remember fondly
all that i have
loved and lost
but i focus on the loss
and become scornful
biting my lips
and my arms
to keep my
silent screams
from being heard
by anyone
other than
the girl
in my head
- - -
she is no
friend of mine
but she stays
there sometimes
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
hold a cigarette up
to my oxblood lips
ash falling down
my diamond-studded wrist

I'm the siren
fire of your desire
live wire

tripping over in my
six inch stilettos
sipping on Prosecco
singing in staccato
all the words i wrote
&
all the songs
i want you to hear

all while the smell
of sweet Black & Milds
circles the strands of
pin up curls
that frame my
porcelain skin
and you caressing my neck
taking it all in.
reposting
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
snow
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
somedays it seems very clear
that December is never dear
to me.

snow-kissed branches outreached
atop snow-kissed mounds of cold

crystals gently laying themselves
upon the silent earth outside.
a silence that can only be heard
when all shelter from the
falling flakes outside.
- - -
winter after winter
i always wish as it draws nearer

for a family warming their toes
around a crackling hearth adorned
with red stockings and an initial
of our names on each.

to be drinking mulled cider
and mull over musings of the
yesteryear together. all while
sneaking glances at the neatly
wrapped boxes underneath the
Christmas tree we wreathed a
day after Thanksgiving.
- - -
but my winters have no snow
and no Christmases worth
watching through a window.
my family is myself
and myself is sorrow.
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
& i wait
 Dec 2020 ghost
Samara
i'm five years old
& i wait
for you to
look at my drawing
and compliment me.
. . .
i'm ten years old
& i wait
for you to
watch me while i play
and protect me.
. . .
i'm fifteen years old
& i wait
for you to
tell me it's ok
and comfort me.
. . .
i'm twenty years old
& i wait
for you to
realize i've lost my way
and notice me.
. . .
i'm twenty five years old
& i wait
for you to
take a few minutes
and call me.
- - -
it's the eleventh hour
& i'm still waiting
for you
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