before
The moonlight made its way through the blinds. It’s the only source of light in the bedroom. His head is on the pillow while mine is rested in my hand, propped up looking down on him. His chin tilts up, dark eyes looking for any signal to stop coming closer.
I don’t give him one.

after
His tired fingers lightly trace slow figure eights on my shoulder. We lay breathless in comfortable silence. I feel his eyes on me, taking in my silhouette. He moves closer, looking for any reason not to.
I don’t give him one.

I'm pretty drunk right now,
But my thoughts are clear enough to say,
I believe in you.
I believe in your dreams.
I believe you can overcome your flaws.
I believe you could write the masterpiece of our generation.
You could cure cancer, bring world peace, and feed the hungry.
You can show love.
You can breathe your positive presence into the air.
I want you to go forth and shine like the beautiful star that you are.
Together we can demolish our egos.
Start on the path to purity.
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step,
So hold my hand, and follow me,
As I take mine.

it was summer
june, maybe july, I'm not sure
but it was raining and we were sitting in the parking lot of my favorite bookstore
you were behind the wheel of your truck, the seat just a little leaned back and my head was in your lap and your hand was in my hair.
I had bought Ariel, you had bought Spoon River Anthology, you said you wanted to get into poetry.
and you read it to me, the gentle waves of your voice syncopating with the steady beat of rain outside, and they made a music that made my breath catch in my throat
the windows fogged
I pulled the book out of your hands and tossed it in the backseat, so I could kiss you and feel your heartbeat in my ears
you smelled like sweat and salt and sunshine, you smelled like summer
and I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you

There's a huge disconnect when I see your face
that memories have burned themselves
far too much to resemble ashes
and as I try to rearrange the picture
it seems the person I knew
does not exist anymore.
the person I tried so hard to forget
when you were the only one
I wanted to remember
I can't rush back to the start
and not notice how much you've changed.