what will help cure this madness
this desperate need to flee
I've ran so much some times i don't even know what i'm running from
but i running just as fast as i can
will i ever feel free

Another disappointment.
I should be use to it by now.
I just look down and shake my head.
I had actually dared to hope.
How foolish of me.
I approached the situation with mild enthusiasm.
Why cant you just be the parents your suppose to be.
The ones who you promised to be, to to the judge and the men in suits.
Its been 9 year now.
Your not the mom and dad i'd hoped you'd be.
And now to be honest i just want a refund.
I want a different childhood.
Because mine is a disappointment.

The mist settles as i sit at night and recall.
Memories
Flickers of light like a tv in a thunderstorm.
I clutch my chest.
I curl up into a ball.
Pain racks my body
like a storm on a tin roof
I will summon his ghost tonight.
The pain makes his memory brighter.
So i let the blood pool.
Maybe its to punishing myself
I'm not sure
Its a mockery of the original.
But its all i have so i cling to it
While i sleep safe in the past.

In a book my soul becomes free

From this heavy world from my body

From the blackness that held me captive

Into another world of blissful dream



From this heavy world from my body

From my song of despair from my tears every where

Into another world of blissful dreams

Into a book of purple fantasy



From my song of despair from my tears everywhere

From the choking hole of life

Into a book of purple fantasy

Into a book of wonderful dream



Into a book of wonderful dream

From the blackness that held me captive

From my choking hole of life

In a book my soul becomes free

I'm afraid of all the things they could say if they knew;
would they send me away.
Lock me up and medicate me.
That's what I fear.
I fear your voice would grow distant.
Have I gone crazy.
No I couldn't have gone crazy.
You've always been here with me.
when your little it was cute to hear voices in your head.
Its normal.
They call them imaginary friends.
But now I'm the stereo typical crazy.
This world I have in my head feels wrong.
I sometimes isolate my self so I can talk to you.
But who can blame me.
my head is full of colors when the outside world just seems so gray.
sometimes I even consider drugs so I can hear your voice just a little bit clearer.
But even I have my limits.
So do you think I've gone mad?

I miss you
I miss you like hell
My chest aches in physical pain
The sadness
Its fiery cold grip
It been two year
Two freaking years since I had a taste of your lips
Sweet like antifreeze
I'm trying to remember what made you so special
How I ended up loving you with ever beat of my heart
I said goodbye to you
I regret not holding on harder
You were poison
But you were full of exitment
My figures brushing your skin was enough to send sparks flying
I have some one now some one I love
Someone who is my whole world.
So why do I crave you
Why does it still hurt
Dear John please tell me

Music pounds through the speakers.
I try to forget.
I'd do anything to make your ghost go away.
Right now I'm trying to drink you away.
tomorrow for all I know it might be pills.
I'm kind of scared where this will end.
I'm almost not afraid to die and that scares me worse.