Stifling sentences from mind to pen to paper
Blundering from word to word
Forcing friend and foe to collaborate to hold together,
hand in hand a story to be told
But sometimes that art, those wells, grow old
So I dig and I dig for a fountain to come forth
And with it the words with which to refresh both mind and soul
A laborious task, too large to ask
Of one who isn't entirely mad
But no need for worry because I am that
I'll find the fountain of words.
Elusive, exclusive, entirely too much
A passionate flow, a particular touch
Extensively existing in the minds of those persisting
To indulge in the sweet words that flow from mind to pen to paper
To taste and sample the selected assortment
Fastidiously arranged as if awaiting atonement
Expressions from the fountain I've found it.

Today I asked question
But I do not know to whom
I voiced concern for all the memories and the ever present mood
The one that crushes spirits, more specifically my own
While the barren land I wander has become a horrid home
I haven't told myself the truth, I turn away from day to day
And all the things I do not see they whisper gently so they say
They tell me that I'm gone and that my smile cannot be
they shout that I am wrong and oh so broken don't you see?
But I swear I've known this all along
I've watched the slow descent
Now I'm drowning in light's absence found in my head's recess
I carve these final words in the bones of age old souls
They scream with me the same matching the lifelong acquired tone
It echos hurt without a cause and loss that burns without a balm
I feel my structure is all wrong, chest is caving, heart is small
Mind is managed through a looking glass
To prove I have thoughts at all
Ones that don't drift in from the smog that sits so stale in this room
Ah, but the walls, they are so smooth
And no doors to allow the ****** and thieves to find their way on through
Solitude
No other view
They tell me I enjoy this so I don't refute
Content with time spent sitting wishing for some context
The prospect is unnerving
Voices rise with every wording
Therapeutic or otherworldly?
I am worthy!
I think..
I am sane!
So they speak..
But they lie everyday, so who do I believe?
Fully unraveled I see I can't even trust me.

I find the time I spend alone in barren lands beholds a wonder all its own
The dip and turn of roads leading to holes
Bringing all the progress to a halt
Exalted madness rules over logic not sought
Chasms grow and here I am rooted to one spot
Becoming one with complacency
Once leading now takes second seat
I see the scene of life so keen through eyes I've been
I am not me
I do not think
I tread the ground with iron feet
Unravelled it seems I've become a string
In a single direction my being can be seen
So many wrong turns and right twists
Each leap leads to the next spread
Snow so thin interrupted with each step
And I trek
Spilling my insides with each stride
I try not to digress but the stress
And the hate
And my chest is raked with pain
I can't go back but forward isn't there to obtain
The air feels thin only teasing the blood in my veins
A thousand stories on my skin, stained
I've begun the process of forgetting my brain